Just Drive

 by Ducks

Rating: NC-17... HOT! But sweet, too...

Disclaimer: Do I have to? Blah blah blah… I don't own them… blah blah blah

Dedication: To Buffy and Angel… their myth lives on, EVEN IF JOSS NEVER GETS THERAPY!


Musical Choices: Bitch by Meredith Brooks, Sandalwood, by Lisa Loeb, I Will Remember You by Stephanie Zelmani, and Crash Into Me by the Dave Matthews Band

Takes place in the First half of season Three. But other than some of the events of Season Two, nothing in the story necessarily follows the Buffy Canon.

She really should be in bed. School tomorrow, training after that, studying after that, patrolling after that… her days off were few and far between, and she really should spend them resting, but she intended to cram as much living as she could into the night, instead.

She'd spent the afternoon shopping, and had put together just the right look, for tonight. A barely-there black minidress, a chiffon scarf that matched her eyes knotted tightly around her neck… Platform shoes, smoky makeup… hair up off her neck. Angel was gonna flip after spending six month's allowance, he'd better. But first…

When she'd called him that afternoon, she could hear the fear in his voice… the slightest uncertainty… that little spectre of doubt…

"I think you should just… get out for a while, you know?" She insisted.

"I don't know, Buffy… I don't know if I'm ready to be around other people…" His voice was still a little weak, a little flat, but she heard it getting better every day, and she knew, in time, that he would be back to his old self… more or less…

"No other people. I swear. Just you and me. You'll be safe, I promise…"

He was quiet for a moment. "Okay." He said, finally.

"Great. Be ready at 11."

"Okay. See you then…"



It was all she could do to hang up.

Now here she was, top down, cruising up Mallard St… she'd cross Myrtle and go around Schoolhouse Circle, and end up out on the end of Crawford Street.

When she pulled up, she couldn't see any signs of life in the house. Of course, there was no life in the house, so that was probably part of it. But the place had soul She chuckled at her own sad joke.

The front door never creaked. Angel ran a tight ship. But still, every time, she almost expected the door to whine horror-movie style, and Angel, dressed in a cape and velvet suit, would greet her with a leering, "Good eeeevening…"

He was just sitting next to the fire, reading. Wearing soft navy cotton… a thick sweater, on top… jeans… black boots… his expression soft with concentration, lost somewhere in the world of…

"The Power of Myth?" she said, "Doesn't sound very pre-date-ish…"

He looked up, and his face burst into a radiant smile. "Buffy. You look…" he drank her in, all of her, up, down and up again, to her eyes… that scarf… no cross… It was almost like she wasn't wearing underwear… which she wasn't. "Fantastic…"

She smiled. "Thanks. Are you ready?"

He rose, brushing the dust off his pants and laying his book on the coffee table. "Where are we going?"

She took his hand, grabbed his jacket, and headed for the door. "You'll see." She said.

Route 1 was deserted, at night. Once out of Sunnydale, the road opened up and went for three hundred miles, through nothing but mountains and deserts. Once out in the wilderness, Buffy floored it, fiddling around in her bag for a tape. The wind blasted in their hair, and bugs died vain deaths, splattered against her windshield. She ignored them.

Angel sat, slouching in the seat, unsure of exactly what she was up to. Where were they going?

"Uh, Buffy?"

"Yeah…" They were yelling over the blasting wind.

"Where are we going?"

She shrugged, then turned to him and laughed. "Yes." She said.

He blinked. It wasn't like Buffy to get all Zen like this. "Huh?"

She gave him a look like he should know this… "Journey? Destination? You say it to me all the time… like, the bus isn't actually going anywhere, but that's okay?"

"Ah, right." He said, kind-of comprehending.

"We're on a journey." She said.

"Got it."

She turned back, tuning back in to her own thoughts once again. The moon shone on the road before them, casting the desert in its bloody glow. She popped her tape in. The beat started pounding, and Buffy tapped the rhythm out on the steering wheel. She began to sing:

I hate the world today.
You're so good to me, I know
But I can't change.
Try to tell you, but you
Look at me like maybe I'm an Angel underneath…
Innocent and Sweet.

He turned and stared at her, riveted. He'd never seen Buffy this… this light, before. She was in her own little world, and he was the lucky bastard who got to watch her go…

Yesterday, I cried
Must have been a relief to see
The softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused…
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one…

Her head bopped from side to side in time with the beat, flipping her long ponytail back and forth in the wind. Angel slouched a little farther in the seat, relaxing his tired spine. Movement of any kind took a lot out of him, and he wanted to make sure he stayed awake to enjoy this whole experience… She was something.

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed.
I'm your Hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it
Any other way

She sang, a grin splitting her face from ear to ear. He found it quickly infected him, and he began, tentatively, to smile too.

So take me as I am
This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing

She howled at the top of her lungs, jumping up and down in the seat. Angel gripped the dashboard, afraid for his life in a terrible, new way… He had no idea Buffy was such a terrible driver. He'd never ridden with her before.

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your Hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it
Any other way

She jammed with the interlude… a jammin interlude… he found himself tapping his foot.

Just when you think
You got me figured out
The season's already changing
I think it's cool you do what you do
And don't try to change me…

He began bopping his head a little, too… it made him feel light, as though he could fly…

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed.
I'm your Hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you
wouldn't want it
Any other way

I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When you hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I'm been up, I've revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it
Any other way…

She watched him through the final jam of the song from the corner of her eye. He was… bopping moving a little, to the music. The sight almost made her drive off the side of the road and burst into happy tears.

But she kept on, savoring the moment… never trusting that she would ever see him this relaxed and happy again.

When the song was through, he turned to look at her, "That was fun." He said.

"I'm glad you thought so." She said, keeping her eyes on the road. Almost time to turn around… what would be good for the way back?

The tape decided for her.

She can't tell me that all of the love songs have been written
'Cause she's never been in love with you before
You skin smells lovely like sandalwood
Your hair falls soft like animals…

Oops. What mix had she grabbed?

I want to kiss the back of your neck
The top of your spine where your hair hits
And gnaw on your fingertips and fall asleep
I'll talk you to sleep

But I'll be the one, I will have chosen.

I'm tryin' to keep cool, but everyone here likes you
I'm not the only one

Your skin smells lovely like Sandalwood
Your hair falls soft like animals
And nothing else matters to me.

She can't tell me that all of the love songs have been written
'cause she's never been in love with you before

your hand,
so hot,
burns a hole in
my hand.
I wanted to show you.

Buffy kept her posture ramrod straight, staring straight ahead. She didn't want to make a big deal out of changing the tape.

Angel stared out at the stars rushing toward them, fully realizing that Buffy hadn't meant for him to hear this… But he listened carefully, beginning to believe he would know where her heart had been all this time, by paying attention to this mix she'd made…

It's daybreak
And you are asleep
I can hear you breathe now
Your breath is deep

But before I go
I look at you one last time
I can hear a heartbeat
Is it yours or is it mine?

I look at your lips
I know how soft they can be
Did they know what they wanted
The times they kissed me?

Both of them tensed, remembering the song… Buffy pulled into an abandoned gas station, and stopped. Tears overcame her, and she sat, head bowed, crying softly.

Angel felt frozen where he sat. He couldn't move… couldn't even lift his hand to offer her any reassurance. He was awash in something… something he could no longer identify, something he thought he'd lost, in Hell.

And your hands
That I held in mine
Now they're reposing on the pillow
Will they ever miss me sometime?

I'll remember you
You will be there in my heart
I'll remember you
And that is all that I can do
But I'll remember

He watched her crying, remembering… Remembering looking into her eyes that night at the Bronze, when all this had just begun, grieving that he could never be with her like this again…

She was thinking of the same night, and his sad smile as he'd looked at her. How long ago that was… how far away…

Your eyes
That always make me shiver
Now they are closed
They just sometimes twitch a little

And your body
I could own for an hour
It sent me to Heaven
With its heat and power

He finally found the strength to move, and he moved his entire body as close to her as he could, with the seat separating them, and took her in his arms. The feeling of her body there knocked an unneeded breath from him, and he rested his head on top of hers as she soaked the shoulder of his jacket.

I'll remember you
You will be there in my heart
I'll remember you
And that is all that I can do
But I'll remember

When the song was done, he mercifully reached out and hit stop. They sat there, like that, for a long time. Finally, she leaned up, pulling away from him.

"I'm sorry. That's not what I meant tonight to be about…" She said, sniffling.

"It's okay." He said. He felt bad that she was still hurting so much. He wanted her to at least feel like things were getting back to normal…however twisted that in itself might be... He brushed his hand up and down her back. The soft kid leather of her jacket almost felt warm… he felt her shiver at his touch, and pulled his hand away.

"No," she said, turning to look at him, "Don't stop. Don't stop touching me…"

His stomach lurched and he felt a desire begin to burn at the base of his gut. 'No.' he thought to himself, 'That's not what she meant.'

But the way she was looking at him…

Suddenly, the distance between them was gone, and her lips were on his. He froze again, for a moment, shocked by the touch, then reached up to tangle his hand into her hair. He sought out her tongue, teased the edge of it, scraped his along the edges of her teeth…

She moaned.

He licked the outer edge of her lips softly, then kissed her once again before pulling away.

His eyes were on fire with passion, but shadowed with confusion. "Buffy, maybe we should stop…"

She grabbed him and kissed him again, longer this time, she the aggressor. When she elicited a moan from him, she pulled away.

"What were you saying we should do?" She asked. Something in her knew this was right… that this was okay… that she was safe… as safe as she would ever be.

He smiled weakly. "Just drive." He said, and turned back around.

She started the engine, immediately flooring it. Once they were back over the city line again, she popped the tape back in.

You've got your ball,
You've got your chain
Tied to me tight
Tie me up again
Who's got their claws in you, my friend?
Into your heart I'll beat again

Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock and sweet you roll
Lost for you,
I'm so lost for you…

When you come crash
Into me…
And I come into you…
I come into you…

The stopping in front of the mansion, the turning off the car, the walking indoors, the lighting of the candles and the fire, and the starting of the stereo were a blur… they didn't seem like they'd happened at all…

They were only standing in the living room, Buffy pressed up against the wall next to the fireplace, and Angel devouring her face, her lips, her neck, with his cool, sweet mouth. She could do nothing but sigh… his attentions moved to her throat, her collarbone, the tops of her shoulders…

In a boy's dream…
In a boy's dream…

Touch your lips just so I know
In your eyes, love, it glows, so…
I'm bare-boned and crazy for you

She closed her eyes tight, awash in the sensation of his tongue, lightly tracing the trails his lips had blazed… He flicked each inch of her softly, awakening her every nerve, sending heat rushing through her…

His hands wandered, slowly, lovingly, from her hair, down her back, around her waist, over her round rear…

She groaned as he squeezed her into him, bringing his lips back to where they most liked to be, locked in hers… She gripped his shoulders and slid one foot up his leg…

"Ohhh…" He sighed, pressing into her harder, his kiss becoming more hungry, his need pounding through him like a tidal wave…

When you come crash into me
And I come into you
In a boy's dream…
In a boy's dream…

Their clothes were gone before either of them knew it, and Angel was slowly lowering her to the thick rug before the fireplace, placing her gently on the floor before assaulting her now bare body anew with his kisses…

If I've gone overboard, then I'm begging you
To forgive me for my haste
When I'm holding you so, girl…
Close to me…

"Angel…" She whispered. It was the only sound she could make… the only sound she could hear, over the rushing of her blood…

He was making hungry noises as he devoured her flesh… the tips of her nipples, the soft underskin of her breasts… down over her taught stomach… her high hip bones…

He could hear her blood pounding, too, through the artery at the inside of her pelvic bone… he felt a low growl come from within his chest. He felt his fangs slide down, and he nipped at the tender skin, so close to her center, hungry… so hungry…

She moaned loudly, and he abruptly pulled away, panting, and scooted as far away from her as he could.

She leaned up on her elbows. "What are you doing?" She demanded.

He couldn't look at her… he couldn't seem… seem to change his face…

"I can't. We can't…" he said, shaking his head.

Buffy grabbed up his shirt from where he left it on the floor, and put it on. She crawled slowly to where he sat, and sat next to him on the hard floor…

It took a few minutes, but he relaxed. Buffy, however, was still on fire, and more than a little confused.

"What is it?" She asked, laying her hand on his arm. He jerked it away, over-sensitive to her touch.

"I can't… keep control, like this…" he stammered.

She moved around so she could look into his eyes. They were their usual shade of peaceful chocolate… His face was smooth…

"You don't have to." She said, looking deeply at him.

"I almost bit you." He said, ashamed.

She kissed him. "You can keep control, if you know it's worth it…" she whispered raggedly in his ear. He sprang immediately to life again. She took his face in her hands and kissed him as fiercely as she ever had before. His arms finally wrapped around her, pulling her into his lap. She could feel how hard he was against her, as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

She moved back, and then forward again, so he rested just outside of her. "You don't have to worry." She said softly into his ear, "I know we're okay…"

He slid into her as slowly as his aching body could manage… so warm… so right… He slid slowly out and back in again…

"See?" she moaned softly, "Safe as houses."

He closed his eyes, resolving to keep control, but only enough. He didn't want to hurt her, but he wanted to… feel her.

When you come crash
Into me…
And I come into you…

Hike up your skirt a little more
And show the world to me
Hike up your skirt a little more
And show your world to me
In a boy's dream…
In a boy's dream…

She rocked slowly against him, reveling in the friction their joined bodies created, wrapping her arms around his neck and guiding his face to her chest…

He followed her lead, taking time to kiss softly over her heart, to softly suck each nipple as it sprang into his mouth…

She felt hot. So hot… She moved faster against him, wishing she could get better purchase to make it harder, too…

He must have read her mind. He put his hands on her hips and pushed to drive her harder onto him. Heaven… it was like heaven… her skin was so sweet… the way she whispered and moaned his name driving him to the edge of sanity…

"God." She said, clutching him closer, her breath coming so fast, he was afraid she might hyperventilate.

He slowly rolled her forward, so her back rested once again on the rug. She pushed her hips up off the floor to give him better purchase. He took advantage of her provocative new angle, and plunged deep inside her, generating twin gasps, then moans, from both of them.

He began chanting her name, but she was unaware, as her orgasm ripped through her… he felt her muscles tighten around him, flexing in time with her pulse, and the last of his reserve was gone… he pounded into her with his release, his chanting turning to an animal cry.

The rocked together for eternity, waves of passion whipping over them again and again.

When finally, he couldn't hold himself up anymore, he collapsed at her side. She lay there, panting, as he contemplated her sweat, pooling in his belly button.

When he felt more recovered, he reached over with his hand and brushed her cheek.

"See?" She said, rolling over to lay her head on his chest.

Oh, I watch you there
Through the window
And I stare at you
You wear nothing, but you wear it so well
Tied up and twisted, the way I'd like to be
For you, for me, come crash into me…

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer, enveloped in the smell of her flowery shampoo, the hot smell of her skin… the scent of their union… He was a satisfied beast… lulled senseless by the proximity of his mate, the light of her love cocooning him… drifting…softly…warm…

In a moment, she realized he was asleep. She leaned up carefully, so not to disturb him, and watched as the peace she felt herself settled over his face. She would stay awake… she would remain alert, and watch him… make sure…

She lay a little kiss on his nose and moved beside him, where she had a better view of the sweet smile that played across his lips.

A drive had been a good idea.



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