Just Like Heaven

AUTHOR:                   Yseult

EMAIL:                                  yseultdb@yahoo.com

DISCLAIMER:                      Angel and Buffy belong to other people.  Not me.  Lyrics are from “Just Like Heaven” by the Cure.

TIMELINE:                            After AtS “Tomorrow”

SPOILERS:                            Everything up to the end of Seasons 3 AtS and 6 BtVS

SYNOPSIS:                            What might have been

RATING:                               R to be safe

GENRE:                                  Angst



She had taken off her sandals as soon as she stepped on the beach.  They had dangled off her finger, twisting and swaying in the wind until she spotted the seagulls.  She had quickly tossed the shoes aside and chased the screeching birds into the air. Now, her painted toes danced in the edges of the surf and the hem of her dress swirled above the foaming waves.


She turned and looked towards the boardwalk, shading her eyes from the sun.  If she squinted, she could see him standing there, watching her, waiting.  She shook her head and smiled.  She needed to take him shopping.  He was in serious need of some non-black clothing.  And a bathing suit.  She raised her hand and waved.


She was too far away to see the smile on his face, a face that was warmed and now burning in the sun.  She looked happy.  He hadn't seen such joy in her since That Day.  He slowly made his way down to the beach.  He carefully removed his shoes and socks and shirt and piled them neatly by the picnic basket.  When had she packed the basket?  He lifted the lid.  Grapes, cheese, chocolate, peanut butter, no vegetables that he could see.  There was enough food for an army, or Fred on a good day.


She was dancing again, twirling in the waves, her hands above her head, moving to an unknown song.  She felt his hands slip around her waist and pull her to him.  His arms quieted her.  They stood together in the water, unmoving, silent, his chin resting on her shoulder, his breath by her ear.  Suddenly his breath was in her ear, and she giggled and spun in his arms.


“Show me, show me, show me

How you do that trick

The one that makes me scream," she said.

"The one that make me laugh," she said,

And threw her arms around my neck.


She jumped and wrapped her legs around his waist.  She lifted her face and searched his eyes.  He bent his head to kiss her.  Their kisses used to be desperate, the only way to express the passion they couldn’t share.  Now, they were playful.  His mouth paused on his mark.  She held her breath.  He always stopped when he reached it.  His tongue would slowly trace its outline over and over, as if trying to erase it and memorise it at the same time.  When he was done, he would press his lips to the scar and gently kiss it.  It was a promise.  She was his; he was hers.  She exhaled as his lips moved to the nape of her neck.  She giggled again as he slurped noisily in her other ear.


"Show me how you do it,

And I promise you, I promise that

I'll run away with you.

I'll run away with you."


At the bottom of the basket, he found the wine.  He lifted an eyebrow and looked at her as he poured it into the plastic cups.  She really had been listening when he and Giles had been discussing vintages.  He handed her a cup and they toasted each other.


She started to feel sleepy halfway through her second cup.  He put everything back into the basket except for the wine and brushed the crumbs and sand off the blanket.  She lay her head in his lap and looked up at the night sky.  She could hear the surf pounding as the tide came in.  The wind had picked up.  She shivered.  He noticed it immediately and covered her with the extra blanket.  She looked up at him, waiting for him to speak.  Tonight, he told her a story of banished lovers and tragic lives in the New World.  Her eyelids fluttered and finally closed.  Her breathing eased into a slow rhythm.  He emptied the remaining wine into his cup and leaned against the basket.


Spinning on that dizzy edge

I kissed her face and kissed her head,

And dreamed of all the different ways

I had to make her glow.


She opened her eyes.  He had stopped speaking.  He wasn’t brooding, but he wasn’t smiling either.  She sat up.  Shyly, her hand reached out to cup his face.  She searched his eyes.  He turned his mouth to her palm and kissed the soft skin.  One hand moved to her shoulder and pushed the strap of her dress off.  His mouth followed.  Soon she was bare before him.


She watched him undress.  He didn’t look away from her.  Neither spoke.  He pulled her down and drew the other blanket over them.  They lay side by side without touching.  Then, in silence, they started.  Small kisses placed behind ears and on throats.  Passion-building kisses thrust in mouths, on breasts.  Lusftul kisses descending chests, across abdomens, between thighs.  As their lovemaking peaked, he growled deep in his chest.  It was all that was left of what he had once been. 


"Why are you so far away?" she said.

"Why won't you ever know

That I'm in love with you,

That I'm in love with you?”



They smelled the rain before they felt it.  In the light drizzle, they quickly dressed and gathered everything.  By the time they reached the car, they were drenched.  They spilled into the apartment in a mess of wet clothes and soggy shoes.  Their laughter echoed through the rooms.  Again, they undressed.  The shower was warm.  The steam quickly filled the bathroom.  When they stepped out of the shower, he wrapped her in a giant bath towel and placed her in front of the fire.  He used another towel to dry her hair.  Then he combed it out and watched it dry.



Soft and only


Lost and lonely


Strange as angels,

Dancing in the deepest oceans,

Twisting on the water,

You're just like a dream.

You're just like a dream.”


She whimpered when the storm was above them.  She awoke alone in front of the fire.  Where was he?  She pulled the comforter around her and called him.  He was at the window watching the lightning cross the sky.  Thunderstorms made him uneasy.  Even now.  She leaned her cheek on his bare back.  He sighed.  More lightning, more thunder.  A tear leaked down his cheek.  She caught it with her finger and pulled his forehead down to hers.  She pressed her lips to his until he yielded and let her tongue find his.  This time, the coupling was violent and possessive.  The storm continued around them.


Much later, they drifted into sleep.


Daylight licked me into shape

I must have been asleep for days

And moving lips to breathe her name

I opened up my eyes


She was gone.  He woke to rain beating on the window.  His arms were empty.  He panicked and stumbled into the kitchen.  She was wearing one of his shirts.  She sat in a chair with her feet propped on the table.  She was humming while she painted her toenails a deep burgundy colour.  She looked up and smiled at him. 


And found myself alone, alone, alone

Above the raging seas

That stole the only girl I loved

And drowned her deep inside of me.



Soft and only


Lost and lonely


Just like heaven


At the bottom of the ocean, Angel opened his eyes and wept.

| Fiction Index | Home Page | Back |