Disclaimer: I don’t own any of them. This is just for fun.

Theme: Dark, Angst

Spoilers: Very general Season Two Ats

Rating: NC 17 – language, bloodplay

Scenario : Angel is once again pushed beyond his limits

Feedback: yes please lpritchard2020@btinternet.com

Many thanks to Arrie for the wonderful Beta reading and criticism, and to Laureen, who has never seen ‘Angel’, and who is therefore completely objective in her judgement of my stories.

An Eye for an Eye

By LisaP

“I realise you’re not going to like me saying this, but you must always remember, Angel is not human”. Wesley saw Cordelia’s lips tighten, but pressed on anyway.

“He’s not a man, he is a male vampire. His human form is a deception. We must never forget that”.

“He’s got a soul. That makes him different”. Cordelia argued stubbornly.

“True. His intelligent mind has a conscience. He understands the difference between good and evil. He is not a psychopath. All this makes Angel unique among his species. It does not, however, stop him from being a male vampire, not a man”.

Wesley knew he must try to drive home this point as clearly as possible. Cordelia’s growing fondness and dependency upon the tall, beautiful vampire was all too noticeable these days. He was desperate to protect his pretty colleague, knowing that her feelings for Angel would eventually lead at best to disappointment, at worst…he dared not even think about the consequences.

-0-

Angel was patrolling the streets, unaware of Cordelia’s feelings and Wesley’s concerns. He was concentrating on tracking the scent of two Gora demons that had earlier tried to kill a courting couple. Angel had been able to protect them, and was now intent on hunting the demons down. So intent that he had failed to notice the large black van that was parked on the corner of the street that he was now approaching. However, the people in the van were certainly taking notice of the vampire that was coming towards them.

“There it is. Are we ready?”

Sweat beaded the forehead of the speaker, a man in his thirties, well muscled and hard looking. His four companions nodded grimly, hefting their weapons in readiness.

“Go!” The barked order resulted in an instant response. The five big men launched themselves out of the back of the van, throwing a heavy net over Angel as he was walking past the vehicle. Even with the element of surprise on their side, the humans nearly failed to trap the vampire in the net, his reflexes were so fast. Unfortunately for Angel, one foot caught in the mesh, and he tumbled to the ground. The leader of the ambush was ready, and jabbed the vampire with a yard long electric taser, on its highest setting. A second, and then a third high voltage shock reduced Angel to twitching unconsciousness.

“Jeez, it nearly got away. Hurry up with that tranquilliser, it’ll only be under for a few minutes with the shocks”.

Obeying his leader, one of the other men bent over the prone vampire, and injected him with a dose of tranquilliser that would have killed a human three times over, but which would probably only keep Angel unconscious for around twenty minutes. There was no time to lose.

It took three of the team to pick up the heavy vampire, and with a certain amount of manhandling they were able to shove him unceremoniously into a re-enforced steel cage that was sitting in the back of the van. With a collective sigh of relief, they slammed the door of the cage firmly shut, wrapped heavy duty chains around the door latch, and padlocked them.

The leader of the team leapt into the driver’s seat, gunned the engine, and sped off down the streets, away from the centre of LA, and towards a big, and to his mind, very well-earned paycheck.

-0-

Angel was slowly coming round to the sound of a heated argument.

“What kind of game do you think you’re playing with us, Hood? You tell us that you can capture a live vampire for us, and what do you bring us? An unconscious human. What do you take us for?”

Angel opened his eyes, and blinked against the harsh light of his surroundings. Gradually, he realised that he was lying on a hard, concrete floor, with heavy bars separating him from where the argument was taking place. He quickly closed his eyes again as the owner of the voice, a woman in her middle years turned to look at him.

Another voice, presumably Hood, was sounding equally annoyed.

“Goddammit Steele, it is a vampire. They don’t all look like Bela Lugosi, you know. Now I want my money. You’ve no idea how rare it is to capture a vampire alive, we only got this one because for some reason it lives among humans and we’ve been able to keep tabs on it.”

Dr. Maureen Steele glared at Hood. It had only been a few months since she had been told that vampires were not just a folk tale, and she was doubly disappointed that the man who had been so confident of bringing her one to study would stoop so low as to try to con her in this way. It was as clear as day to her that the ‘vampire’ that was lying unconscious in the cell that had been specially prepared for it, was nothing other than some poor guy who had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. She stamped her foot in fury.

“I will not be made a fool of like this. Get out, and take this poor bastard with you”.

Hood spat on the pristine floor.

“No. Look Dr. Steele. As soon as it wakes up I’ll prove to you that it is exactly what we say it is. Of course, you could just go into the cage and check for a pulse and a heartbeat.”

Steele hesitated. She had been reading everything that she could get her hands on about vampires, not that there was that much other than hundreds of vampire novels. What little she had gleaned told her that going into a cell with a vampire would not be the wisest thing to do. And even though she was convinced that this was all a giant con trick, she was prepared to wait.

Angel lay still, remembering to start breathing again, now he had come back to his senses. No point in making this easy for them. His mind was spinning. What kind of a trap was he in? Who were these people? The strong scent of chemicals and antiseptic clued him in to a certain extent. Some kind of laboratory? His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the cage door being unlocked.

Hood was tired of waiting for the vampire. He suspected that the creature was probably awake already, and was just playing possum. He was also fed up. He wanted his money and wanted to be gone. He had places to be and people to see. Striding up to the figure lying on the floor, he aimed a hard, swift kick into its guts.

Surprised and hurt by the sudden kick, Angel grunted and leapt to his feet, but managed to control his automatic attack response. Instead he backed away, brown eyes wide and wary, trying as hard as possible to act and move like a human, slow and clumsy.

“H-hey, what’s going on, who are you?” he said, sounding dazed. Hood was not fooled, even if his employers were.

“Nice try, vampire. Now let’s see if you can still convince these people that you are a person after this”. And with that, Hood hurled the contents of a small vial straight into Angel’s face.

Angel howled with the sudden agonising shock, and reeled away, frantically rubbing at his face with his sleeves. Holy water, perfectly harmless to people, more corrosive than the most potent acid to vampires. Angel could not stop himself, the pain and shock forcing the change on him. Hissing with the pain, his skin still smoking, he bared his fangs defensively, his glowing yellow eyes burning like hot coals. Hood leapt backwards out of the cage, and slammed the heavy barred door shut.

Glaring grimly at the stunned faces of the lab leader and her team, who were staring in fascinated horror at the snarling creature in the cage, Hood held out his hand.

“Paycheck.”

-0-

The female voice at the other end of the telephone sounded tinny and distant.

“Are you sure that you got the right one?”

Hood scowled into the handset, he was pretty well pissed with people implying that he couldn’t do his job.

“Yeah. The one they call Angel.”

There was a sigh of satisfaction on the other end.

“Great. The money will be wired to the address we agreed on. Oh, and yes, you disappear, right?”

“That was the deal. The money pays for it”. And everything else, for the rest of my life. Hood added silently. He was curious though as to why these people had paid him so very generously to ensure that Dr Steele and her team got this particular vampire. The doctor hadn’t cared one way or the other. For a moment he considered asking the woman who had done the deal with him. Then he remembered the money, all ten million dollars of it, and decided that he wasn’t that curious. He snapped the handset shut, leaned back in the driving seat of his van, and starting the engine, disappeared as agreed.

-0-

It had been two days since Angel had been trapped and brought to this place, and he had not been fed once. Being an old vampire, far older than most, Angel could manage for quite long periods without feeding. However, it was not a comfortable experience for him, especially as his cage was in the centre of a large room, usually with at least five or six humans working around him. The smell of their blood would have been tantalising at the best of times. Now, hungry and upset, Angel was struggling to control his cravings.

He had tried on several occasions to talk to the lab staff, particularly the woman they called Dr Steele, trying to find out why they had wanted to capture him, and what they planned to do. One of the younger members of staff, a young woman in her mid twenties, had responded to him once or twice, obviously attracted to his good looks and soft voice, despite herself. Steele had caught the assistant talking to Angel and had immediately come over to stop her. Angel had been taken aback to hear Steele reminding the assistant that although Angel seemed intelligent and was attractive in his human form, that she was to remember at all times that he was a thing, not a man, and that she was not to speak to him for any reason.

“You are not here to engage it in conversation. You are here to assist me in discovering how something like this, a seemingly impossible fact of nature, actually exists. This thing is a corpse. It does not have to breathe, it’s heart is lifeless. There is no circulation, no digestion. It is a dead thing. Yet it is animate. It is also, so I believe, extremely dangerous. Stay away from it.”

The young assistant nodded her understanding to Dr Steele, while casting an anxious look in Angel’s direction, before scurrying away. Steele walked a little closer to Angel’s cage, ensuring that she remained outside the red safety line that encircled his prison, the line that meant all humans would be outside the vampire’s reach should he attempt to snatch at one of them in passing. They studied each other. Angel remained silent, but his deep brown eyes revealed the depths of his old, tragic soul. Steele smiled.

“Fascinating. A fairy tale, or more correctly, a horror story, come to life. I can’t wait to see what makes you tick”.

That had been twenty four hours ago, and since then, no-one had come near him, although all the lab team kept stealing looks at him. Angel, used to a solitary existence, with plenty of privacy and quiet, found the constant murmuring of voices, and the harsh light that never dimmed in the labs, extremely wearing. Like all powerful predators, the vampire was also very unsettled by being caged, the alien feeling of vulnerability making him feel claustrophobic. This, combined with lack of blood, was getting him more and more upset as the hours ticked by.

A flurry of sudden activity in the corner of the lab caught Angel’s attention. Someone had handed one of the lab team a large box of something, which was now being brought over to Angel’s cage. His sensitive nose and keen hearing identified the contents of the box before it was pushed through the bars on the end of a long pole. Rats. Live ones.

Angel looked up in horror at the sea of expectant faces that were peering at him from outside his prison. What was this? Feeding time at the zoo? Despite his gnawing hunger, Angel was determined that he was not going to give these humans the satisfaction of watching him drain a few rats of their lifeblood. Didn’t they realise that drinking the blood of rats, or, in fact, anything other than human blood, was a last resort for vampires? And even though Angel had long ago made the moral decision not to feed from humans, it didn’t stop him from feeling degraded whenever he caught and killed the occasional small animal to supplement his butcher- supplied diet of pig’s blood.

With a look of contempt, Angel pushed the box of rats back outside the cage, and turned his back on the row of disappointed humans.

“What, rats not good enough for you Angel? Let’s see how proud you are when you are really starving, shall we?”

Angel spun round, anger filling him.

“Lilah. I might have known Wolfram and Hart would be involved with this somewhere along the line”.

Lilah, the tall, elegant head of special projects at Wolfram and Hart examined her long, red fingernails.

“Oh, we’re late entrants to this one. Let’s say, we heard about Dr Steele’s desire to investigate the mythic vampire, and out of the kindness of our hearts, and our commitment to the furtherance of scientific discovery, we decided to sponsor her programme. I’m just along for the ride. Oh, and to give her and her team a few tips on vampire behaviour.” Lilah flicked her hair back and gave Angel a big, insincere, smile. “I must say, Dr Steele was most grateful for some of the information that I’ve been able to supply.”

Angel bit back the growl that was threatening to explode from him.

“Why, Lilah? What are you hoping to gain from this farce?”

Lilah took a step closer, her eyes gleaming with malice. Lowering her voice she said,

“It’s no farce Angel. These people are going to experiment on you. Make no mistake about it. You are going to be tested to your limits, and, I sincerely hope, well beyond them. What we are expecting to get from this is you, broken, beyond repair. Now, isn’t that a cheery thought!” She cocked an eyebrow at him before giving him a little wave and stalking out of the lab, followed by Steele and half the lab team.

If Angel’s heart had been able to beat, it would have been racing in his chest at Lilah’s parting words. As it was, Angel could feel himself shaking with barely contained fury. He began to prowl around the perimeter of his cage, pacing up and down the sides in a futile effort to work off the stress that Lilah’s visit had caused. Dammit, where were Wes, Cordelia and Gunn when he needed them?

-0-

Wesley, Cordelia and Gunn were at a complete loss. Despite trying to track Angel down using every contact they had, and some they hadn’t had before Angel’s disappearance, no one had been able to even give them a hint of what might have happened to the vampire. Cordelia was beginning to be scared that Angel had been bested in a fight, and was even now a pile of dust. Gunn pooh-poohed her fears on this score.

“Hey Cordy, d’ya really think that if someone or something had dusted Angel, that they would be able to resist braggin’ about it all over town? Nope. Angel’s alive…well, still undead…you can be sure of it”. Cordelia gave a tiny smile in recognition of what Gunn was saying. She knew he was probably right, but where was Angel?

Wesley polished his spectacles furiously, a sure sign of his mounting anxiety for his vampire colleague.

“We’ll just have to keep looking. Someone, somewhere must know what’s happened to him”.

-0-

They had shot Angel with a high velocity tranquilliser dart, strong enough to render him all but unconscious, and safe for the humans to enter his cage and move him bodily onto the table. He had been unaware of what was happening until it was too late, and he had recovered his senses to find that he was strapped to a solid steel table, with half-inch thick metal hawsers around his neck, chest and legs. Even using all his considerable strength, he could not loosen his bonds the tiniest fraction. The steel of the table was cold against his back and legs, and Angel realised that he was naked, and that three technicians were examining him closely. One of them, a man who looked a little like Wesley, with his dark hair and glasses, stooped over Angel with a hypodermic syringe in his hand. Without a word of explanation he plunged the needle into Angel’s upper arm, and withdrew a sample of the vampire’s blood. Angel growled warningly, and the technician jumped backwards involuntarily, tearing the needle from Angel’s arm as he did so. However, seeing that the creature was unable to do anything except vocalise its displeasure, the technician returned to his task more confidently.

Several more samples of blood were taken, along with some skin scrapings. Angel submitted silently, knowing he had no alternative. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Dr Steele approaching the table. She was flanked by two of her assistants, one of whom was carrying a tray of surgical instruments. She was explaining her planned procedure, not for his benefit, but to her colleagues.

“To all intents and purposes, the vampire is a corpse. We will therefore proceed as though carrying out an autopsy. We will obviously be restricted with what we can do, due to the restraints, particularly in the chest area, but we still have sufficient access to make some preliminary examinations.”

One of the spectators coughed nervously.

“Uh, Dr Steele, aren’t we going to use anaesthetic?”

Steele flashed an irritated look at the spectator.

“How many times am I going to have to tell you? This is not a human. It is not even alive. We need to examine all its reactions and record them. If it is anaesthetised we won’t be able to do that. In any case we have no idea what effect human anaesthetics would have on a vampire. Pass me the scalpel, and let’s make a start”.

-0-

They had not needed to dope Angel to put him back in his cage.

He lay on his side, quivering with pain. Steele had been interested that the vampire had exhibited reactions to the scalpel and the other instruments she had used to delve into its body, but was unmoved by the cries that were eventually wrung from the creature. She had been too delighted to witness the vampire’s transformation once more, its fangs snapping uselessly as it desperately tried to escape from its restraints. She had called for more blood samples to be taken while the vampire was in its demon form.

Angel was no stranger to injury, or indeed to torture. He had experienced it from both sides in the course of his long life, but this was different. Steele had been indifferent to his agony, intent only on discovering everything she could about this fascinating specimen. He groaned, every inch of him a burning sheet of pain. The worst part had been when Steele had instructed two of her team to hold his head still. She had forced open his mouth with the aid of a metal gag, screwing the gag open until he thought his jaw would crack. Steele had then got her burliest team member to fasten pincers to one of his fangs, and then rip it clean out of his gums, taking half the gum with it. He had shrieked then, and almost passed out.

Steele had been delighted with the fang, but delight had quickly turned to amazement as the torn out tooth had almost immediately exploded into a puff of dust. A few more experiments, removal of fingernails, pieces of skin cut away produced the same effect. Yet, the skin scrapings and blood samples seemed intact. Steele shook her head in fascination. There seemed almost no logic to the vampire’s existence, why did parts of the creature crumble when removed from the body, while other things, like its blood behave quite conventionally? She had leisurely completed her investigations before instructing her team to put the specimen back in the cage, and to clean up.

Angel dimly felt the restraints loosening, and strong hands manhandling him back into the cage. He was too wracked with agony to do anything except growl weakly. Through the haze of pain he caught snatches of the conversation between the two orderlies.

“I know that Dr Steele keeps saying that this thing isn’t alive, but it sure acted like it was when she was cutting it and digging around inside it.”

“I know what you mean. For something that’s dead, it sure bleeds a lot too.”

The voices drifted away. Angel knew that he would recover from these injuries, but he would need to feed to speed the process, and so far there had been no sign of any food other than the rats that he had rejected so contemptuously a few hours before. He dropped into an uneasy doze, channelling all his remaining energy into the healing process.

He woke suddenly, the unmistakeable smell of fresh blood galvanising his weakened body into action. On the floor, just inside the bars of the cage, lay a large plastic bag of blood. Human blood. Angel snatched at the bag, desperate for the life giving essence, but even though every fibre of his being was crying out for sustenance, Angel made himself open the bag with shaking fingers, rather than simply biting down into it with his remaining fangs. Forcing the demon down, he drank the blood as though it were water, rather than sucking the blood into himself as his instinct was demanding.

He looked up into Lilah’s smiling eyes.

“Well, you’re looking a bit cut up about something today” she quipped, cruelly. “Just thought I’d stop by and see how you’re getting on. Thirsty work isn’t it, being an experiment? Shame that’s the last blood you’ll be getting from now on. Well, in pre-packaged form in any case.”

Angel glared at the lawyer, his brown eyes yellowing for a moment before he regained control of his temper.

“What do you want Lilah?” he ground out, his words muffled by the wreckage that was his mouth.

Lilah laughed briefly. “Oh Angel, Angel. You know what I want. And d’you know, I think I’m going to get it this time. We want you to lose control, and not be able to get it back. We want to break you, once and for all.” She glanced at her diamond encrusted watch. “Well, must fly. We’ll do this again real soon”.

-0-

The experiments went on. Angel suffered exposure to the extremes of heat and cold, spending eight hours naked in a meat locker, followed by several hours in a specially constructed sauna. He was cut again so that they could measure the speed that he healed, with several wounds of various levels of deepness being inflicted on different parts of his body. Angel was almost getting used to being in constant discomfort, with moments of searing pain. What was harder was having to cope with the lab team’s continuing assumption that he was even less than an animal, an object that required no care or compassion. He was learning to dread Lilah’s visits to the lab, as she obviously offered ‘helpful’ advice to Dr Steele regarding a vampire’s strengths and weaknesses, encouraging the doctor to come up with various new trials to test him out accordingly.

Angel was also now extremely underfed, and was starting to look thinner. Although he was weakened by starvation, it also meant that he was more dangerous than before as his self-control slipped away. The box of rats had been offered again, and this time Angel could not summon the willpower to thrust the box from him. Instead, to his shame, he snatched the wriggling rodents up and tore into their sour bodies, draining all three rats dry within a minute. The taste was disgusting, and the fact that he had had to feed off the vermin in front of a human audience filled him with despair, and something new, hatred.

One hundred and fifty years of death and destruction, torture and maiming had left the re-ensouled vampire with a degree of self-loathing that he found impossible to articulate. A large part of him believed that anything bad that happened to him was no more than he deserved, and that any thoughtlessness or cruelty that people perpetrated upon him was entirely justified. Hatred was reserved for himself, leaving only feelings of tolerance and faith in humanity. But the callousness of his treatment at the hands of these so-called scientists, the sheer cold-bloodedness of their cruelty had forced him to completely change his perspective, making him loathe his captors, and especially the woman called Steele.

-0-

Gunn raced into the offices of Angel Investigations, shouting.

“Wes, Cordy, Hey, guys, we may have a lead on Angel!”

Gunn’s two colleagues snapped to attention. Gunn dropped into the nearest chair, breathless from running.

“One of my crew was in a bar over on fifth. He was talkin’ to one of his homeboys, who told him that he had overheard a couple of guys saying somethin’ about quitting their jobs at some research facility. They were unhappy about what was goin’ on there. My kid’s homey reckoned he heard them saying that even if the specimen was supposedly a dead thing, that they couldn’t stand much more of hearing it scream like it was alive”.

Cordelia gasped and put her hand over her mouth in horror. Wesley put his arm around her shoulders and gave her a comforting squeeze.

“Gunn, did you get where this research facility is?”

Gunn shook his head.

“No, man. But my kid heard all this in a bar way uptown. Place called Jed’s. I reckon that these guys might use it as their local drop in joint. At least it’s a place to start lookin’, right?”

Cordelia was already putting on her jacket.

“What are we waiting for? Let’s get going”.

-0-

Dr Steele was studying her notes on the work completed so far. The research was going better than she could have ever dreamed. Lilah Morgan had been an invaluable help, although Steele couldn’t help wondering why a lawyer would know so much about vampires. She peered at the books that Lilah had left her. Ancient tomes, some written in Latin and Ancient Greek, all had chapters on vampires.

Steele decided that she was ready to start testing out some of the myths surrounding vampires. For example, did they really hate sunlight? Was garlic repulsive to them? And what about crosses? Hood had already demonstrated that vampires were hurt by holy water. She would now approach all of the commonly held beliefs in a scientific, controlled fashion.

The doctor resumed her studying.

-0-

Angel watched the activity in the lab with the now familiar feeling of near panic twisting inside him. He was exhausted, not least because, despite the lack of windows in the laboratory, he knew it was day, and he needed to sleep. Dr Steele’s team worked the usual human daytime hours, so Angel had been forced out of his natural pattern, something almost impossible for a vampire to cope with. It made him sluggish and disorientated. This exhaustion was compounded by the fact of his near starvation. Vampires cannot starve to death, but if they are deprived of blood for long enough, they begin to become less and less animate, and will slide eventually into a death-like coma. Angel was nowhere near that stage of deterioration yet, but he was aware that his skin was taking on an almost blue translucency, and seemed to be stretched uncomfortably tight over his thin frame.

The vampire backed into the far corner of the cage as three big men came towards the door. Angel had not seen these men before. They were accompanied by two of Steele’s burliest team members. Once again, he was shot with a tranquilliser dart, the humans waiting until the vampire slumped to the floor, groaning.

As soon as Angel was lying quiet, the men quickly went into his cage, and carrying out Steele’s instructions, chained the vampire’s arms tightly behind his back, attaching a collar around his neck, with another long chain running from it. Angel’s legs were also chained together, using hobbles. These would allow him to take short steps, but prevented any other movement.

Angel came around to find himself heavily manacled, the three strong- looking men each holding a length of chain and a taser. He was dragged to his feet, and then shoved towards the door of the cage. Angel was half-led, half-dragged out of the laboratory and into a maze of corridors. This was the only time since his capture that Angel had been outside the confines of the lab, but he was too sick with anxiety to really take any notice of his surroundings. They reached an elevator, and he was shoved inside and pushed, face down, onto the floor. The doors swished closed, and the elevator jerked upwards. Moments later, the doors opened onto what seemed to be a delivery area. In an instant, all Angel’s instincts went onto high alert. The delivery area was open-ended, and bright daylight flooded into the far end of the mostly shaded building. Steele was standing in the sunshine.

The heavies grabbed Angel by the collar round his neck and yanked him to his feet. They began to pull him towards the daylight. Angel changed in his panic, and even though the men had been warned of this, they still jumped away from the vampire as he hissed at them, all yellow eyes and fangs. Even with three strong men pulling as hard as they could on the chains, they were struggling to contain the vampire, weak and exhausted as he was. Angel was fighting for survival, every instinct focused on staying out of the sun. But, inch by inch, Angel was slowly being dragged ever closer to the daylight. Eyes wild, fangs snapping, Angel desperately resisted at every step. He was only feet away from the sunlight that would kill him. Being an old vampire, Angel would not explode into flames like fledglings, but the sun would still burn him to death after a few seconds of exposure. Steele stood watching the struggling vampire with complete impassivity, making occasional notes.

“Stop! Now!”

The sudden yell caused the three men who were dragging Angel towards the daylight, to pause for just a second. It was enough. Angel threw himself backwards, wrenching the chains from the hands of two of the heavies, and pulling the third one with him. Unbalanced, Angel fell on his back. Steele’s men leapt to grab hold of the chains once more.

“Get away from the vampire. Leave him alone!”

Gunn, Wesley and Cordelia had heard Angel’s desperate snarls and whines, and had charged round to the open delivery doors. They had taken in the situation at a glance. Wesley had grabbed hold of Dr Steele, and was even now holding a knife at her throat. Gunn had yelled at the men who had hold of Angel, and pointed a loaded crossbow at them.

“Tell them to let Angel go”. Wesley’s voice was calm, although he was almost overcome with horror at what had nearly befallen his friend and colleague. He pressed the knife a little harder. Steele complied.

“Let it go….now!” she whispered, terrified of these three vigilantes.

Reluctantly, the three men did as they were asked, dropping the chains. Angel rolled away from them, and further back into the shadows, away from the killing sunshine.

Before either Gunn or Wesley could stop her, Cordelia had run to the vampire, falling to her knees beside him. Angel started away from her, and then realised who it was.

“Cordy…”

Cordelia saw how thin Angel was, how beaten and exhausted, and her heart broke for him.

“Oh God, what have they done to you?” she reached out to touch him, stopping as he flinched away. “Angel, it’s OK, it’s going to be OK”. Cordelia wanted to reassure him.

Trembling, Angel edged further away from the girl.

“No” he whispered “You don’t understand. I’m too hungry…so hungry”.

Gunn had come to join Cordelia, and pulled her to her feet and away from Angel.

“C’mon Cordy. Poor bastard, he’s not safe to be close to at the moment, we gotta get him some blood, pronto.”

Wesley still holding the knife to Steele’s throat, hissed in her ear.

“You’d better have a supply of blood at hand, otherwise you’re going to get first hand, up close, experience of what it’s like to have a vampire feed off you”. Steele gagged in terror, pointing at the doors to the elevator.

“In the lab…we’ve got a stock of chilled blood in the lab”.

Wesley called out to his two colleagues.

“Gunn, Cordy, stay with Angel, and keep an eye on these brutes. I’m taking this one to get the keys to those manacles and some blood.” He yanked Steele’s arm further up her back. “And no tricks. If you try anything, we’ll see that Angel gets free rein over this entire establishment.”

-0-

Finally, they were back at the Hyperion.

Wesley had decided that it would be useful for Steele to come with them; he wanted to know exactly what the plan for Angel had been. He didn’t like to use the term ‘hostage’, but knew that she would be a good bargaining chip should they need it.

They had fed Angel while he was still in his chains, appalled at the desperation with which the vampire had torn into the bags of blood and gulped down the contents. They had waited until he felt able to control himself before they released him, and then had half-carried, half dragged him to the car, which they had brought round into the shade of the delivery bay. Covering him with a thick wool blanket to protect him from the deadly rays of the sun, they had got him, themselves and Steele back to the hotel as quickly as possible.

-0-

Cordelia had insisted on staying with Angel in his room, unwilling to let him out of her sight, and the others, after a fruitless argument with her, had finally left the girl and the vampire together, Cordelia cradling Angel’s head on her lap. They had given the vampire all the pig’s blood that they had stored at the hotel. It was still not enough, but Angel at least felt reasonably safe around his friends once more. Although he had remained quiet throughout Cordelia’s exchange with her two colleagues, he was glad that she had prevailed. Her soothing murmurs and caresses were just what he needed at the moment. He sighed as Cordelia gently stroked his face and hair.

“You’re so thin, Angel. How long do you think it will take you to get back to your normal size?” Cordelia sounded concerned. Angel was always so big and imposing, it was horrible to see him looking so wasted and weak.

Shifting his head slightly, Angel peered up into the worried girl’s eyes, and knew that he had to be honest with her.

“It will take some time, Cordy. Pig’s blood, and even stored human blood doesn’t have the healing effect of….well, you know…fresh..” He dropped his gaze apologetically.

Cordelia stayed silent, still stroking Angel, thinking. Finally she came to a decision.

“You can have some of mine, now, if you think that you would be able to…well…stop, before it got dangerous.”

Angel jerked away from the girl, shocked beyond measure at her suggestion.

“N-no. Cordy, you don’t know what you are asking”.

“Why not? I’m your friend. If you were human, and needed a transfusion, and my blood was a match, I’d give it up in an instant. Why is this so different?” Cordelia argued. Angel shook his head vehemently.

“It’s not the same. Not the same at all.” He could see Cordelia starting to look both angry and hurt, and felt obliged to try to explain, despite his intense discomfort about the subject. He struggled into a sitting position on the bed, and motioned Cordelia to sit next to him. She did, and he slid an arm around her, pulling her close so he wouldn’t have to see her expression as he talked.

“Feeding from…a-a human being…a person that the vampire is…is close to, it’s not just sustenance.” Angel struggled to find the words. “It’s not like when the intention is to drink someone dry, against their will. It’s something else entirely…” he shifted uncomfortably, all too aware of Cordelia’s warmth and softness leaning against his chest; he could hear her heart quicken slightly as she began to guess at what he was

trying to say. He ploughed on.

“I suppose, what I’m trying to say is…uh…well, it’s like two people wanting to…”

“Oh for pity’s sake Angel, do you mean that if you fed from me it would be like we were having sex?” Cordelia faced Angel, who was mightily relieved that he couldn’t blush. He nodded mutely. The girl’s next words floored him completely.

“Well, would that be so very terrible?”

Angel stared at Cordelia open-mouthed, his already overwrought brain unable to cope with this startling question. Cordelia continued.

“Look. You are tremendously important to me. God, I’d be dead without you. Angel, I love you, didn’t you know that all ready? Jeez, you can be such a dork sometimes!” she paused as several uncomfortable thoughts struck her at once.

“The curse, would feeding from me make you evil? Or, perhaps you don’t think I’m attractive? Oh, God, I’ve made such an idiot of myself.”

Despite himself, Angel laughed weakly.

“Cordy, you are beautiful. A man would have to be blind not to find you attractive. I’m pretty sure that the curse wouldn’t be an issue, and you haven’t made an idiot of yourself. I can’t begin to tell you how touched and flattered I am by what you’ve said.”

Cordelia frowned. “There’s a But there.”

Angel nodded slowly.

“I’m afraid there is. You still don’t understand how me…feeding from you, would affect you. The bond formed is very deep, it would stop you from having a normal relationship with a normal man – ever. You’d need me to…uh, you know, bite you. I can’t let that happen to you. You need to be free to make choices in your life. This would stop you having those choices.” He stopped, unwilling to explain further, but knowing she deserved his total honesty.

“Cordy, I’m not a man. Not human. That’s why you’ve just had to rescue me from that torture chamber of a laboratory, remember? If you gave yourself to me…it would make it different. It would make me different. Vampire relationships…they’re all about possession, Sire and childe, dominant and submissive, possessor and possessed. I wouldn’t be able to help myself, you’d become mine.” He stopped, willing her to understand.

“But, you and Buffy…you were in both in love…it wasn’t like that with her and you.”

Angel looked at her bleakly.

“Are you so sure about that? Look at Buffy now. Her life’s a mess, she can’t sustain a normal relationship with a normal man. I’ve heard rumours that Spike is more than a companion. And I don’t dare try to find out if those rumours are true. If they were…she’s still mine you see. I’d certainly kill Spike, and possibly her, even though I know that she was probably forced into a – a relationship with another vampire. She needs it…being fed from…and Spike, well he’s my childe. He’ll smell like me”. Angel growled then, and Cordelia shivered at the sound. Wesley’s warning words came back to her about Angel being a male vampire, not a man. Pulling herself away from Angel, she stood up.

“Pig’s blood it is then”. She said sadly.

-0-

Evening was falling into night, and the Hyperion was quiet.

Angel was still resting, Cordelia, looking upset, had gone home for an early night.

Gunn and Wesley were in Wes’s office. They had locked Dr Steele into the basement, confident that it would be plenty secure enough to hold their ‘guest’, and able to easily keep an eye on its only entrance and exit.

The two demon hunters were going through the folders of notes that Wesley had retrieved when he had taken Steele back to the lab. Both men were sickened by what they were reading.

“Jesus, how could anyone do such things to another person?” Gunn’s expression was a mask of disgust.

Wesley shook his head, removing his spectacles to rub his tired eyes.

“They don’t consider Angel to be a person. And, of course, technically they are correct. But neither is he an object. Some of these tests look like wanton cruelty, not scientific investigations. I’m just amazed that Angel survived as well as he has. What’s been perpetrated on him would have broken any human, and probably most demons too.”

“We don’t really know how much it’s affected him yet. It’s only been a few hours since we rescued him, and most of that time he’s been half out of it through starvation and exhaustion. Probably better to not speak too soon”. Gunn was, if possible, looking even more serious than before. “But this Steele woman, what kind of a person is she?”

Wesley stood up.

“We’ll find out tomorrow when we have a proper talk with her”. He looked at his watch. “It’s getting late. I’ll stay here tonight, keep an eye on things. You go home and get some sleep. It’ll be another busy day tomorrow, no doubt”.

Gunn nodded, yawning.

“OK, English. See you in the morning”.

Angel stood in the shadows at the top of the stairs. He saw Gunn leave, and Wesley locking up after him. After about twenty minutes, Wesley finished up for the night, and made his own way to one of the many spare rooms in the Hyperion, passing within inches of Angel, entirely unaware of the presence of the lurking vampire.

Angel waited until he heard the door to Wesley’s room closing, and then slid silently down the stairs to the door of the basement, picking up the key from Wesley’s office on the way.

He drifted down the stairs, not making a sound, and not needing to put the lights on to see where his quarry was lying. Dr Steele had fallen into a light sleep, but even if she had been awake, she would not have realised that Angel was now standing right behind her. She woke as a cool hand clamped firmly over her mouth, stifling her scream of alarm completely. Steele thought her heart was going to leap right out of her chest in terror, as her body was encircled by a powerful arm, pinning her own arms against her sides. She felt herself held in an iron grip, her back pressed against an unyielding chest. Steele struggled, and then stilled, as her captor growled, a deep rumbling sound that froze the blood in her veins. The vampire had her.

Terrified almost out of her wits, eyes staring blindly into the darkness, Steele was sure she was going to die.

Angel could smell the doctor’s primeval fear, she reeked of it. He leant his face against her neck and sniffed the glorious scent of adrenaline laden blood. This was going to be good.

“Hello Dr Steele, remember me?” Angel’s voice was silky soft. Steele trembled uncontrollably as he whispered into her ear.

“I thought you might be missing the chance to find out more about vampires. Can’t have that now, can we?” Angel nuzzled Steele’s neck, just below her left ear, relishing the intoxicating smell of her blood, so very near.

“I’ll take my hand from your mouth if you promise not to scream. Believe me, if you try, I’ll break your neck before you can make a sound. Now, are you going to be a good girl?”

Steele nodded into the darkness.

Angel let the woman go. Steele stumbled forward onto her knees, unbalanced from the sudden release of the vampire’s restraining embrace. As she tried to pick herself up, the light to the basement was flicked on, and she stared up into Angel’s yellow eyes.

Faster than her eyes could follow, Angel had scooped her up, and was again holding her, facing towards him now. He stroked a finger lightly down her cheek.

“Please…please don’t kill me” Steele said, her voice shaking with fear.

“Kill you? No, doctor, I’m not going to kill you. I’m going to educate you.” Angel smiled slightly, revealing long, razor sharp incisors.

“You gave me pain. I’m going to give you pleasure in return. You hurt me. I’m going to repay you with ecstasy. When I’m finished with you, you’ll beg for more, and more.” Angel’s mouth was touching Steele’s neck now; she flinched as he gently licked the soft skin behind her ear.

“Mmmm. You taste so good” he murmured, and slid his fangs into her neck.

Steele gasped as the vampire bit her, but the sharp pain of teeth penetrating her skin was swept away by a sudden feeling of intoxication. Steele’s scream turned into a moan of pleasure. Angel controlled the almost overwhelming impulse to bite hard and drain this human dry, and just allowed the doctor’s blood to seep into his mouth. Tasting, licking, sucking, oh so gently, the vampire felt the woman melt against him, all resistance gone. Steele moaned again, her eyes closing as her body surged with mounting sexual heat.

Angel tasted the desire coursing through Steele’s blood. It made him growl with his own increasing lust. Removing his mouth from Steele’s neck, he licked at the puncture wounds, and then began to unbutton the doctor’s blouse. Steele’s eyes flickered open for a moment as she felt the vampire slipping the blouse off her shoulder, and pushing her bra strap down her arm. Angel nipped and licked his way down to her now exposed right breast, where, once again, he sank in his fangs. The sensation of the vampire sucking her blood and her nipple simultaneously brought the woman to a shuddering climax, her moans and cries inciting Angel to bite deeper, increasing the flow of blood into his mouth.

Steele’s legs buckled beneath her, and she hung limply in Angel’s arms. Angel dragged his mouth away from her breast reluctantly, turning his attention to the base of the doctor’s thrown back throat. He felt the beat of the carotid artery pulsing against his lips and tongue.

“I’m not finished with you yet” he said softly, “That was just for starters”.

-0-

By the time Angel returned to his own room the first fingers of dawn were creeping across the LA skyline.

Dr Steele lay unconscious on the floor of the basement. She was naked, and her body was covered in small bruises and bite wounds, especially around her throat, breasts and thighs. Angel had brought the woman to orgasm over and over again throughout the night, and had only stopped when he knew that she would indeed die if he drank any more of her blood. As it was, Steele was pale as alabaster, and her pulse was thready and fast as her body desperately tried to replenish its stolen stocks.

Angel had stood over the exhausted and nearly drained woman, remembering how she had cried out for him, begging and pleading him not to stop, reaching heights of ecstasy she had never dreamt were possible. He looked down at her, feeling how her blood was renewing and healing him, still revelling in the taste and texture of delicious, hot, human blood. The taste was made even sweeter, knowing that it came from the person who had so recently tortured him so ruthlessly.

Angel had given a short, mirthless laugh and left her, not even bothering to lock the door of the basement behind him. Dr Steele wouldn’t be going anywhere for a while.

-0-

Wesley carried two cups of coffee towards the basement. He had had a restless night, thinking about the awful experiments that had been carried out on Angel, and had finally drifted off into a troubled sleep in the small hours. As a result, he had woken later than normal, and decided to go straight down to start his interrogation of the doctor. As he was crossing the lobby, Gunn came in through the main doors of the hotel, and gave him a little wave. Wesley nodded in response.

“Coffee’s brewed, I’m on my way downstairs now” he said.

Gunn gave a quick grin

.

“Thanks English. Be with you in a minute. How’s Angel?”

Wesley frowned.

“I don’t know. I went to check up on him before I came downstairs, but he’s locked the door to his suite. I’m going to assume he’s done it because he’s feeling stronger and doesn’t want to risk us disturbing him”.

The team knew it was normal practice for Angel to lock his door when he went to rest. He had warned them never to try to wake him, vampires will instinctively strike out if they are disturbed, and Angel had no wish to discover that he had accidentally killed one of his friends in his sleep.

“Oh.” Wesley had gone to unlock the basement door, and found it already open, the key still in the lock.

“This doesn’t look good. I know we locked up tight last night, and the key was in my office.”

Gunn was at his side in an instant.

“There’s no sign of forced entry into the hotel”. They gave each other a worried glance.

Wesley put the cups of coffee down on the floor and started down the stairs, Gunn close behind.

Both men pulled up short at the bottom of the stairs at the sight that greeted them.

“Jesus” Gunn whispered in horror. “Is she alive?”

Wesley had gone over to kneel by the side of the unconscious Dr Steele, his fingers desperately searching for a pulse.

“Thank God, yes, she is, but only just”. Wesley shivered as he examined the woman’s bitten and bruised body. “Gunn, get some blankets, and she’ll need water, tea, lots of liquid to help her replace the blood she’s lost”. Gunn started for the stairs and then stopped.

“Shouldn’t we get her to a hospital – transfusions and stuff?”

Wesley looked up at him, grimly.

“We should, yes. But how can we? Look at these puncture wounds. What happens when she comes around? No. It’s better that we deal with this here.” Something else occurred to him. “If Cordelia is in…don’t tell her what’s happened”.

Gunn nodded and left to get the things Wesley had asked for.

After what seemed a lifetime of waiting, Steele’s eyelids fluttered open as she regained consciousness. She became aware that she was wrapped in a soft blanket, and that someone was holding a cup of warm water to her lips.

“Just drink it slowly. You’re going to be OK”.

The doctor muzzily tried to focus on the owner of the voice, while obediently drinking the water. She felt so weak, so tired…it was delicious. She gave a small sigh of exhausted bliss.

Gunn and Wesley glanced at each other over Steele’s head. Gunn was completely puzzled by the woman’s strange reaction, but alarm bells were starting to go off in the ex-watcher’s head. Wesley knew he had to talk to Angel, as soon as possible.

Leaving Gunn to look after Doctor Steele, Wesley made his way up the stairs and towards Angel’s room. He had noticed, with relief, that Cordelia had not yet arrived at the Hyperion. He arrived outside Angel’s door, and hesitated for a heartbeat, before knocking loudly.

“Angel. Wake up!” He shouted. He listened for a moment, but there was no response. The door was still locked, but Wesley had brought the spare key, that Angel had stressed was to be used only in emergencies. Wesley thought that this situation qualified as one.

Unlocking the door, Wesley cautiously opened it a fraction, enough for him to peer around it into Angel’s small suite of rooms. There was no sign of the vampire.

“Angel?” Wesley edged into the living room, wishing that he had brought a taser with him as he did so. Fear flickered in him, as for the first time, he wondered whether Angel’s mistreatment at the hands of Steele and her team had freed Angel’s demonic nature. Would he find Angel…or Angelus waiting for him?

He had just decided to retreat out of Angel’s suite, when Angel himself appeared in the doorway leading to his bedroom. Sleep-tousled and blinking, the vampire nevertheless looked entirely different from the thin, wasted creature that they had rescued only the day before. Wesley stared in awe at the transformation that Steele’s blood had wrought on Angel’s body. He looked fully recovered, every inch the perfect predator, sleek and unutterably powerful, iron muscles rippling under smooth, pale skin.

“Hi Wes. Sorry, I didn’t hear you at first.” It was obvious that Angel was still only half-awake. Wesley knew he would have to tread carefully, the vampire was often cranky when forced to be active in the daytime under normal circumstances, who could predict how he would be under these distinctly abnormal ones.

“Angel, are you OK? I-I mean….” Wesley stuttered to a halt. Would Angel even know if he had gone evil?

Angel stretched and gave an habitual, if unnecessary, yawn.

“Wes. I’m fine. Better than fine. And no, I’m not evil. Just….refreshed”. The vampire couldn’t resist a smirk at the thought. Wesley squared his shoulders.

“So, are you hungry? Or are you still full from feeding off Dr Steele last night?” He hadn’t meant to sound so disgusted, but seeing Angel positively plumped up, and remembering the almost bloodless woman they had found this morning, made his stomach turn.

Wesley saw the vampire stiffen, and for a second Angel’s eyes flecked with gold, before returning to their usual dark chocolate brown colour. He said nothing.

“Angel…I know what that woman did to you, I have her notes. Even reading them made me feel sick. I can understand that you must hate her…but, to do what you’ve done to her…if what I saw this morning is right…then it’s a life sentence, she will never recover from it…am I guessing right?” Wesley watched Angel as he crossed the room to sit in one of the armchairs. Angel motioned for Wesley to come and sit down too.

“I sometimes forget how much you know about vampires, Wes.” Angel gazed at Wesley, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips. Wesley felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickling as he stared back into the depths of Angel’s dark, seductive eyes. Yes, he was well-versed about vampires, but no book could ever begin to describe the sheer magnetism – power – that a vampire as old as Angel could project when he felt like it. Wesley realised again with a kind of horrified awe, what a huge difference fresh human blood made to Angel. It was as though the vampire had stepped out from behind a gauze screen that had partly hidden him from view. His usual diet of pig’s blood kept him animate, but, Wesley acknowledged, a shadow of the creature that was sitting across from him now. Yet another sacrifice that Angel had made in his desire to atone for his past.

Angel spoke, jerking Wesley from his reverie.

“She’ll live. I know just how much to take. Wesley. She deserves it. She’ll get back her strength in a couple of days, and then…she’ll want more…desperately. But she won’t get it. Not from me, in any case. I’m done with her now.” Angel’s features twisted briefly as he thought of the woman who had tortured him so mercilessly.

“I don’t want her as my slave, pet, whatever. I can’t stand the sight of her to be truthful. It’s enough to know that she will never be free of me. She wanted to find out about vampires. She got more than she bargained for”.

Wesley rubbed his hands across his face, hating the coldness in Angel’s voice.

“Angel…this is revenge. Believe me, I understand, but you’ve turned her into an addict. She will need what you did to her now, forever more. There’s no cure…is there?”

Angel smiled, without a trace of humour.

“Oh yes, there is a cure. It’s called death. Steele will probably get the cure at some point. She’ll beg for it from some vampire that’s a bit too hungry one night. Then she’ll be cured. Permanently”.

Wesley shook his head, despairingly.

“This isn’t like you. I’ve never known you to be like this – not even with the lawyers at Wolfram and Hart”. He stopped, shaken, as he remembered. Yes, Angel could be like this. Leaving a roomful of people to be killed by Drusilla and Darla. Locking them in, even. He looked at Angel, who gazed back calmly.

“Yes. It is like me. Push me hard enough, for long enough, and it is exactly like me to do something like this. I have a very long tether, Wes. That’s all. It’s just not a good idea for people to find out how long the tether actually is. Those lawyers found out, and now Steele has too”.

The silence stretched between them as Wesley digested Angel’s words. Finally, the vampire got to his feet.

“If it’s OK with you, I’m going back to bed. I need to sleep. You and the others must do as you think best, what you feel is right. I can’t say I’m sorry for what has happened. I’m not, but I’ll understand if any, or all, of you don’t want to be around me anymore.”

Wesley, too, stood up.

“We’ll talk later” he said.

-0-

Cordelia was crying.

When Wesley came back downstairs into the lobby, he had seen Gunn leading Cordy into his office, his arm around her shaking shoulders. Wes followed them.

Gunn looked up at Wesley, shrugging.

“Sorry man, she came straight down the stairs and saw Steele. I had to let her see what had happened.”

Wesley sighed.

“It’s OK Gunn, Cordelia would have had to find out in any case. It would have been better if we could have broken it more gently, is all”.

Cordelia turned her tear-stained face up towards Wesley.

“I-is Angel…is he evil?”

“No Cordy. He’s not evil. He’s Angel.” Wesley sat down in his office chair, and regarded his two friends seriously. “I don’t condone his actions. But I have to ask myself, if what has been done to him, had been done to me, would I have behaved any differently? The answer is, no, I would have wanted to have some sort of revenge too.” Wesley looked at Gunn. “You read those notes. Put yourself in Angel’s place – what would you have done?”

Gunn shook his head.

“Man, I’d be dead. So would y’all. No human could have survived what that woman put Angel through. I dunno about havin’ it done to me, but if she’d done it to one of you, or one of my crew – then I’d want some kind of justice, that’s for sure”.

Cordelia spoke up, her voice bitter.

“Justice, yes. But what he’s done to her…Angel explained to me about vampire bites…you know, the effect they have on humans…it would have been more humane if he had just killed her”. Cordelia shuddered “He’s let everyone down…again”.

Wesley’s fist crashed down onto the table, making Gunn and Cordelia jump in shock.

“No Cordelia, you’re so wrong! The problem is you keep forgetting Angel isn’t human. Cordy, you talk about him being humane – how can he be? He’s a vampire, not a person. Gunn, you said you’d want justice if it was one of us, or one of your gang, but what about Angel? Doesn’t he count too? You’re at the opposite end of the spectrum from Cordy, she thinks he’s super human, you can’t help but believe he’s less than human. To Steele and her team, he was just a thing.”

Wesley slumped back in his chair, running his hands distractedly through his hair.

“None of us get it. Angel is Angel. He’s a unique vampire. One who carries a burden of guilt and a terrible conscience about his past. He’s doing his utmost to make amends, even though he knows he probably never can. And every second of every minute of every day of his eternal life, he fights his nature in order to live alongside us. We can’t begin to understand what it’s like for him. And then, as if it wasn’t hard enough for him simply to try to exist in our world, he has the Wolfram and Harts, and the Steele’s who, for their own twisted reasons, push him to, and occasionally beyond, his limits.” Wesley leant forward, pinning his two colleagues with an angry glare.

“And what do we do when he’s driven beyond endurance? We blame him. Somehow it becomes all his fault. ‘Oh Angel, how could you? Angel, you’ve let us down. Angel, how dare you remind us that you’re a vampire, when we like to think of you as a saint!”

Wesley fell silent, emotionally drained by his outburst. Gunn and Cordelia stared at the floor, recognising the truth of what Wesley had said, and feeling ashamed because of it.

Finally the ex-watcher stirred himself. He spoke in his normal, measured tones.

“I can’t speak for you both, but Angel has my support. Steele messed with something she had no understanding of, and has paid the penalty. What happens to her in the future is going to be none of my concern.” He got to his feet. “I’m going to check up on her progress”. He left the office, leaving Gunn and Cordelia looking at each other.

Gunn gave a long, low whistle.

“Jeez. I’ve never seen Wes go off like that before.” He frowned. “He’s wrong though. I don’t think of Angel as less than human. Fact is, I don’t know what to think about him. He’s not just a vamp. If he was I wouldn’t be here talkin’ to you now. He’d either be dust long since, or we’d be dead. But he ain’t a person either. That Dr Steele found that out last night, if she hadn’t already done that when she tortured him half to death.

After the Wolfram and Hart thing – we thought he was on his way to going back to being the big bad vamp when he fired us. I gotta tell you, I wuz leavin’ then even if he hadn’t told us to get out. But I’ve found out things since. Like, he came to the hospital when Wes was shot. You shoulda told us that Cordy. You let us think he jus’ didn’t give a shit.” Cordelia looked at Gunn defiantly, and then dropped her gaze. He continued.

“I don’t reckon we know the half of what he went through over the whole Darla situation. But one thing I never thought of at the time, but I can’t get out of my head now, the visions never stopped. Those Powers that Be, they just kept on sendin’ them. An’ although I know you, me, Wes, we all have our part to play, I know it’s really all about Angel. It’s his mission. He’s the one that gets the mentions in those ancient scroll things, the Powers that Be, they believe that he can make the difference. That he’s special.”

Gunn rubbed his face, and grimaced.

“He shouldn’t have done what he did to that woman. No way. It makes me sick to my stomach. I just have to figure out whether I’d be so freaked if he was human, and had beaten the crap out of her for what she’d done to him. Hell, I’d have probably held his jacket. It’s the blood thing. Shit, he is a vampire. Steele was only interested in him because he’s a goddamn vampire. I sorta get that the punishment fits the crime. It’s just…” Gunn shrugged his broad shoulders helplessly. “It’s not like he didn’t have cause, I read those notes…if it had been one of my crew…we’d’ve carved her up pretty good in return, I guess.” He trailed off.

Cordelia nodded, trying to understand.

“You can’t accept what he’s done, because he is what he is, even though you know that he’s been pushed beyond, far beyond, his limits. Gunn, that sounds like prejudice.”

The handsome young black man snapped a hard look at Cordelia, and then leant back in his chair.

“Yeah. I know it. Don’t change how I feel. I guess, in a way, I’m going to pass this particular buck to you Cordy. If you still get the visions, then I’m gonna work on the fact that the Powers still think Angel is the good guy in this. No visions…I’m gone.”

Cordelia rubbed her eyes with curled fists.

“Wesley may have been wrong about you, but he was right about what he said about me. Angel…he’s not like anyone I’ve ever known. He’s certainly not like any vampires I’ve ever come across. I mean, you don’t exactly stand around and make their acquaintance, more like scream and run. I’ve had time to think about the last time Angel went off the straight and narrow, the lawyer thing. I’ve also had to take a good hard look at the way I was with him over it. I’m admitting now, I’m not proud of myself.”

Cordelia almost looked nervous. Gunn gave her an encouraging smile. She went on.

“He’s saved my life more times that I care to count, both in the ‘Argh save me from this evil demon’ sense, and also ‘Hell, I’m starving in LA what do I do?’ sense. He is my friend. Damn it, he’s my best friend. Oh, and he’s a vampire. How weird do you think that makes me feel? I guess the way I’ve handled this is Good Angel, Bad Angel, like he’s two different people. It’s easy enough, he even has two names for pre- and post soul status. Good Angel, he’s kind, handsome, reliable, even if a bit solemn and earnest. He’s a superhero. Bad Angelus…don’t go there. Then something like this happens. He’s kidnapped, put through the kind of stuff that we can’t even begin to imagine, starved, sent half-crazy with pain and fear, and guess what? He’s pissed with the woman who’s done all this to him, and wants some of his own back. Hey presto, he does something vampire-y…bites her….a lot. It doesn’t fit what I want to believe about him.”

Cordelia looked directly into Gunn’s sympathetic eyes.

“Last night, I offered him some of my blood, you know, like a transfusion. He refused, God, he was so shocked at the suggestion. That’s when he explained about vampire bites and the addiction they can cause if done a certain way. He said that he could never let that happen to me, that he wanted me to always have the freedom to have what he called a ‘normal’ life. I can’t help feeling that us having that conversation may have put the idea into his head”. Cordelia stopped, twisting her hands in her lap. Gunn reached over and gave her shoulder a comforting pat. She gave him a weak smile.

“I just can’t reconcile the Angel I know with the one who could set out to cold-bloodedly wreck that woman’s entire future. But Wesley is right. Angel is a champion, but that doesn’t make him perfect. It doesn’t make him human either. I told him I loved him last night. I think it’s still true. And I know, in my heart of hearts, if I had been present when Steele was doing those experiments on him, I’d have killed her stone dead on the spot, without a second thought, and with no regret”.

Cordelia stared into space.

“You’re right though, about the visions…looks like you’re staying with us…” Cordelia’s words were lost as she cried out with the pain of her latest message from the Powers that Be.

Epilogue

A year later.

It was dim and smoky in the tacky confines of the demon haunt where Cordelia’s vision had sent Angel. Today’s vision had been even more vague than normal, something about someone needing saving in this location. Angel sighed as he peered around in the gloomy interior. As far as he could see, everyone in here looked as though they could do with saving, mostly from themselves. Still, the vision had been specific in respect of the location, if nothing else, and Angel settled himself in for a long wait.

The bar staff looked unhappily across at the tall, dark vampire brooding quietly in the corner of the bar. They knew Angel by reputation, and also knew him being there was not good for the takings. Several demons and vampires had already come into the joint, seen Angel, and promptly turned around and left. However, they were too frightened of Angel to tell him to get out, and just hoped that whatever business had brought him here would soon be settled.

A muffled altercation at the other end of the bar caught Angel’s attention. A lanky, long haired vampire was none too gently shoving a woman away from him.

“Get away from me you old, sour bitch. I’m in no mood to taste your rancid blood”.

The woman, who had grey stringy hair, and the garish clothes of an ancient prostitute reached out an imploring hand to the irritated vampire. As she did so, her sleeve slid back up her arm, revealing a patchwork of bites in various stages of healing.

“Please Jed, just take a mouthful…please”.

The vampire snarled angrily and batted the woman away from him. She staggered backwards and fell heavily onto the dirty floor of the bar. Angel stood up and went over to help the pathetic addict to her feet.

“Are you alr…..” the words died on Angel’s lips as his eyes met those of the old woman’s.

“You! It’s you…!” She croaked, her faded blue eyes wide with shock. Angel jumped back as though he had been electrocuted. This emaciated, ancient ruin was barely recognisable as the arrogant, elegant Dr Steele who had been fascinated to discover what made a vampire tick only twelve months earlier. Now Steele was tattered, covered in vampire bites, and obviously peddling her raddled body to keep herself only just alive.

Angel’s expression of horror was obvious, and was certainly not lost on the woman.

“This is what you have done to me…this is what I’ve become…” she whispered, despair written all over her. “You said I would beg for more…now I beg them to kill me. But they won’t. They just laugh at me…why won’t they kill me and be done with it?” Angel looked up and saw Jed and another of his vampire companions looking at them, sniggering with amusement. Jed called across the bar;

“Hey, Maureen, you’re wasting your time with that one – he doesn’t touch humans, not even pretty, plump ones – you’ve got absolutely no chance of a suck job from him!”

Angel grabbed hold of Steele’s arm and led her out of the demon bar and into the dark stinking street of the run-down neighbourhood outside.

Steele staggered against him, her breath coming in hoarse, wheezy gasps. Angel stopped and let her lean against the wall of the building. She gradually got her breath back, and looked up into Angel’s anguished face.

“Are you sorry for what you did to me? I hope so, because I’m sorry for what I did to you. You’ve no idea how much I regret hurting you. I’m glad your friends saved you. But at least you got saved. Who will save me? Look at what I’ve become…” her voice dissolved into harsh sobs.

Suddenly Angel understood the vision.

Reaching out, he gently drew the miserable, shaking woman to him, wrapping her in his arms. He ran a light finger down her tear-stained cheek.

“I’ll save you, Maureen. I’ll save you now”. And with that, he leant over her, bit hard into her throat, and drank.

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