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For One
Night Only
TITLE: For One Night Only
AUTHOR: Rheanna
RATED: R for language
SPOILERS: Up to season 2,
"Epiphany"
DISCLAIMER: : All characters are the
property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and are used without expectation of
profit or intent of infringement.
NOTES: Huge thanks to Yahtzee for beta'ing
beyond compare, a theme and the best joke in here by a long shot, and to
all at the Yahoogroups ATS fic discussion list. Nope, this isn't in any way
an original idea, but it was fun to do.
1:
Delayed Reaction
The place
they had found for the ceremony was perfect.
The
warehouse was in a rough neighbourhood near the airport, and had been empty
for years. The interior was cavernous and, apart from the faint flickering
light thrown out by a dozen candles, almost completely dark. The voices of
the thirteen cloaked figures echoed as they chanted, bouncing off the metal
roof and walls with eerie hollowness.
Once
voice led; the others repeated the incantation in his wake. The two women
bound together by silver chains in the middle of the circle shivered
fearfully. The air crackled with the raw power of dark forces.
Until
suddenly a tinny, electronic rendition of Yankee Doodle Dandy destroyed the
atmosphere completely.
Doug
broke off mid-chant and pulled down the hood of his cloak. "Okay.
Whose cell phone is that? Own up."
Twelve
cloaked and hooded figures and the two subjects of the rite shuffled and
coughed awkwardly for several long seconds. At last the acolyte four to
Doug's left reached into a hidden pocket and pulled out his Nokia.
"Hi.
Yeah. No. Okay. Uh, Marlene, I'm kinda tied up right now. Call you back?
Yeah. Yeah. Fine. Bye."
Doug
glared at him. "We're gonna have to start again now."
"Sorry.
I forgot to say I'd be late home from work tonight."
Doug
sighed and looked around the gathering. "Right. Everybody turn their
phones off now."
The
red-robed figure directly opposite Doug raised his hand tentatively.
"Excuse me. I'm expecting a call from my stock broker-"
"Off!"
There was
a moment's stillness, followed by several minutes' shuffling and hunting
through folds of red velvet for the pockets of the street clothes beneath.
One acolyte helpfully retrieved and switched off the phones of the two
bound women, who smiled and nodded their thank-yous.
When at
last the participants had settled again, Doug nodded and raised his arms
above his head. Then, dramatically, he let them drop. It didn't mean a
thing but, damn, you had to give people a show.
He
cleared his throat and adopted his incantation voice, which was not unlike
the voice he used for cold calling in his day-job, but deeper. More
authoritative, Doug liked to think. He began the ritual again, from the
start.
"Spirits
of other places, we call on thee..."
Easy
money.
* * *
What a
difference a couple of weeks and a demon larva in your skull makes, thought
Cordelia.
She
looked up from the iBook and the celebrity gossip webzine she'd been
reading and, because she had nothing better to do except work, started to
list in her head everything that was new.
There was
the office itself, for a start. It was new. Not new in the clean-and-shiny
sense, or even in the basically-sanitary sense, but new to them if nothing
else. There was Wesley reading an old dusty book-not new-but standing up
and leaning on a cane instead of rolling around in the terminally
unfashionable wheelchair the hospital had given him. That was a new sight,
and a welcome one.
As she
watched, Wesley put down the book and reached absently for a pen. It
scooted out from under his fingers and rolled on to the floor; Gunn, who
had been sharpening an axe, leaned down at once and retrieved it for him.
He handed it over with a familiar and friendly grin which Cordelia decided
definitely merited inclusion on the New Things list. And sitting in the
other corner...
She
pursed her lips. Was this New Angel or Old Angel?
Old Angel
had driven her to auditions and cooked breakfast and understood what it
meant when she'd said she'd stay with him as long as it took. And then,
right when he'd made her start caring, he'd gone away and New Angel had
arrived. New Angel didn't talk and he didn't listen, and pretty soon he'd
stopped being there to catch her when the visions hit. Old Angel was
"**An**-gel!", said with a little exasperation and a lot of
affection; New Angel was "Boss," and then not even that.
Who was
he now?
He was
pretending to read-staring at a single page in that weird, intense way he
had when he was just using an open book as an excuse not to have to talk to
anyone. But she sensed something different in his attitude now; as if,
rather than avoiding conversation, he was desperate to communicate but was
no longer sure how to go about it.
Cordelia wasn't
in a rush to make it easier for him.
There was
no Old or New Angel. There was just this Angel, and Cordelia wasn't sure
she liked him any more.
No
convenient curse this time. No morning after 'it's okay, it wasn't really
you' conversations. No avoiding the unpleasant truth: the Angel who had
decided he was now very, very sorry was the same Angel who had
systematically cut her out of his existence with the clinical precision of
a surgeon removing a tumour. The same Angel who had at first ignored her,
then scared her, then finally threatened her with violence. And-no doubt in
her mind about this-he had been ready to hurt her.
Ready to
hurt her? Huh. He already had hurt her.
A big
part of her wished he'd never had his damn epiphany. Then it would still be
just the three of them, getting on just fine by themselves, thank you very
much-
"Cordy,
are you okay?"
He'd
noticed her staring at him. She straightened up and flipped her hair.
**Hah.
Don't think you're Cordy-ing your way out of this one.** "Yes."
"Are
you going to have a vision?"
"No."
"Pity,"
said Gunn, not looking up from his axe: "'Cause we could be doin' with
one of those about now. It's a little slack round here."
"Oh
yeah? Well, you know what else we could be doing with?" began Cordelia
hotly.
"A
client," interrupted Wesley, smiling rigidly in the direction of the
doorway. "Ahem. Everyone, look. A client."
The girl
hovering hesitantly in the office's entrance was young-certainly, Cordelia judged,
no older than herself-and wore a pair of faded cargo pants and a crop top
that showed off her flat, tanned stomach to perfection. And perfection was
pretty much the descriptive word of choice for the rest of her: unblemished
skin, clear blue eyes, hair golden and light right down to the roots, and a
delicate bone structure with none of the telltale pinched sharpness that
screamed surgery. Let Gunn have his weapons and Wesley his books:
Cordelia's area of expertise was appearance, and she recognised one hundred
per cent natural beauty when she saw it.
"Hello,"
said the girl. "Is this Angel Investigations?"
"That's
us," said Wesley, with a slight but definite emphasis on the second
word. He smiled. "What can we do for you, Miss...?"
"Trixie,"
supplied Gunn.
Cordelia
looked at him, frowning. "Have you two met?"
Instead
of replying, he nodded in the girl's direction. Cordelia looked her up and
down again, and this time saw the word etched in blue ink in a graceful arc
just above her navel. "Nice tattoo."
The girl
made a small whimpering sound, and her hands flew to cover her exposed
abdomen. "Oh God. I wanted to wear something else, but she doesn't
have any real clothes. It's all straps and thongs..."
Sincerely,
Gunn said, "Please don't apologise."
Oh God,
thought Cordelia. Just how pathetic were guys? One pretty girl walked in
off the street and suddenly the male contingent was rolling over and
begging to have its ears scratched. But Trixie didn't look pleased, or coy,
or flirtatious, or any of the reactions Cordelia might have expected. She
seemed angry and upset.
"You're
no different. I walked here and the whole time I could feel everyone
looking at me. All the women jealous and all the men hungry and-it's
horrible. I thought it would be heaven and it's not. It's awful." On
the last word, her voice cracked and she started to cry.
Wesley
hobbled forward, and patted her arm. "There, there, Miss... ah,
Trixie."
"I'm
not called Trixie," snapped the girl. More quietly, she finished,
"It's Judith."
Dull,
thought Cordelia, but in the 'take me seriously' stakes, a definite step in
the right direction.
"Judith
Forbes-Carson."
"Whoah,"
said Cordelia, "Time out. You're not old woman Four-Cars. I've met
her. Wesley, so have you."
He
nodded. "A... friend of mine introduced us at the country club she
belongs to. She's a good deal older than you and, if I may so, not nearly
so attractive. Trixie, I appreciate that you're feeling a little nervous,
but if we're going to help you, you're going to have to be honest with us.
About everything."
"I
am being honest. You're the first people I've been honest with in
weeks." Tears started to well up in her eyes again, and she made a
visible effort not to break down. "I remember meeting you too: that's
why I came here. You were with Virginia. You spilt red wine on my cream
stole."
"How
would you-?" began Wesley. Then he turned around, slowly, and met
Cordelia's gaze. The improbable but unavoidable truth began to dawn.
"When
I said 'Four Cars'," she said, "I want you to know that was in no
way intended in a derogatory sense, Mrs Forbes-Carson."
Wesley
faced the girl again. "Why don't you tell us just what happened."
* * *
"Any
sign of them yet?"
Cordelia
rolled down the window of Gunn's truck and peered into the night outside.
Every street lamp was out within a hundred yards in both directions, and
she could see only the vaguest outlines of the neighbourhood's empty stores
and buildings. "No. Was she sure this was the place they took her?"
"It
was about the only thing she was certain of," said Wesley.
Cordelia
wrinkled her brow. "So, let's review the facts. Mrs F-C says she was
out walking when a couple of weird demon-types bundled her into the back of
a car. Next thing, she wakes up in an empty warehouse-this empty
warehouse-perfectly fine apart from not being herself any more. What
doesn't make sense about that story? Apart from, oh, everything?"
"It
does appear that a motive is somewhat lacking," conceded Wesley. Then
he cheered. "Still, that is very much the point of private
investigation, isn't it? To investigate."
"There
are people in there."
Cordelia
jumped, almost knocking the top of her head on the cab's roof. Angel had
appeared soundlessly beside her at the truck's open window. "Could you
**please** not freak me like that?"
"What
sort of people?" asked Wesley.
"Weird
types in red cloaks," elaborated Gunn as he also rejoined them.
"I counted about a dozen. Definitely people, though: no demons."
"They
could be vampires," pointed out Wesley.
"No,"
said Angel. "I only smelled humans."
"And
again, less with the freakiness, please."
Ignoring
Cordelia, he went on, "There are a couple of entrances, and none of
them are guarded or locked. They're either pretty naïve or not expecting
company. We could get in without too much difficulty."
"So
what's the plan?" asked Gunn, looking at Wesley.
"Reconnaissance
only, tonight. Let's wait until we know exactly what's going on before we
do anything rash."
"Man,"
said Gunn, sounding disappointed. "And I was really lookin' forward to
staking something."
"Stick
around, you might still get the opportunity," Cordelia told him, with
a telling look in Angel's direction.
This
time, he looked back at her, and Cordelia felt a kind of cold satisfaction
at having finally elicited a reaction from him. "I'll take the west
side," Angel said shortly, and walked off.
"I'll
go east," said Gunn.
Within a
few seconds, both Angel and Gunn were out of sight, and before much longer
even the faint echoes of two sets of footsteps were no longer audible. When
they were entirely alone, Wesley said quietly, "I couldn't help but
notice that you're very...tense around Angel."
Cordelia
blinked and glanced down at her hands, which were resting on her knees. She
was surprised to see her fingers locked together so tightly that her
knuckles were knobbly islands of pure white in a sea of red. **Tense?** She
thought. **Who's tense? Not me, no sirree.**
When she didn't
reply, he went on, "Cordelia, this isn't going to work unless we all
try to make it work."
She
unlaced her fingers, one at a time. Finally, and with difficulty, she said,
"I'm not sure I want it to."
She
didn't know exactly how she expected him to respond to that, although her
best guess would have been some kind of stiff-upper-lip British pep talk,
something about putting aside personal considerations for the good of
everyone, probably with some kind of Winston Churchill reference thrown in
towards the end for good measure.
Softly,
Wesley said, "No. I'm not convinced this is for the best either."
Cordelia looked at him, surprised, and he went on: "But I do think we
must at least try. And this...constant sniping is not helping."
"It's
not constant," she said defensively. "I've been taking five
minute breaks every couple of hours."
"Cordelia..."
"Yeah,
yeah. I know." She looked down, and saw that her fingers had already
started to knot together again. "So Angel's ready to come back to us.
Well, that's just peachy for him. But I'm not sure I'm ready to take him
back."
Wesley
opened his mouth to reply, but a noise on the street stopped him. Cordelia
watched as a red sports car pull up on the other side of the road and the
driver got out. "I think another one of them just arrived."
"You're
sure he's involved?"
"Well,
the cloak is a bit of a giveaway."
"Ahh.
It is, isn't it?"
Cordelia
made to open the door of the truck. "Wait here. I'm gonna do a little
reconnaissance of my own."
"I'll
come with you," said Wesley. He raised a hand to the door handle and
almost immediately winced in pain. "Then again, I may just stay here
and contemplate the many and varied forms of agony the human body is
capable of experiencing."
"I'm
only going across the street," she told him. "I'll be back in
five."
"Nevertheless,
be careful."
Cordelia
treated him to her brightest smile. "Aren't I always?"
* * *
The
Mercedes drove like a dream. Doug had known it would. Those Swedes knew how
to make cars.
A couple
of people at his day job had noticed the new car, and wondered aloud how a
basic grade two telesales operative could afford it, but Doug was certain
his 'unexpected legacy' story had been accepted. In one sense, it was the
truth. If Uncle Ernie, the black sheep of the Kluggerman family, hadn't
died unexpectedly, bequeathing to Doug the sum total of his worldly
possessions in a cardboard box, none of this good fortune would have been
possible. For the thousandth time since the dull Sunday afternoon when he
had finally gotten around to sorting his uncle's belongings and had found
the rolled parchment crushed between the June 1978 and August 1982 editions
of Playboy, Doug thanked whatever benevolent spirit had seen fit to bless
him with such good fortune.
And by
the time tonight was over he'd be another twenty thousand dollars richer.
He locked
the car door and turned to go into the warehouse, nearly colliding with the
girl coming the other way as he did so. "Sorry," he said
automatically.
"My
bad," she said. "I was just walking along here and-that's a
really impressive cloak you've got there."
Doug held
his shoulders a little straighter. He'd made the cloak himself; he wasn't
much with a sewing machine, but he thought the gold tassels along the hem
had worked particularly well. "You think so?"
"Oh
yeah. I saw that cloak, I thought, there's a guy who knows all
about-cloaks."
The girl
smiled at him, and what a smile. Her whole face seemed briefly to rearrange
itself to accommodate the stellar wattage of that smile.
There was
little light in the street, but even in the dimness he could tell that she
was young and exceptionally attractive.
She was
perfect.
"I'm
Doug," he said, holding out his hand.
She took
it. "Cordelia."
"Cordelia,"
said Doug, "how would you like to earn yourself a lot of money?"
* * *
"So,
let me get this straight," said Cordelia. "If I agree, I get ten
thousand dollars in cash."
Doug
nodded. "In your hand. Used bills."
"And
all I have to do in return is...sell you my body?"
"Well,
it's more of a loan, really. And it's not to me: I'm just the middle-man.
All I do is match donors with donees. I'm a professional service
provider."
"Okaaay,"
said Cordelia, very slowly. "So, who exactly would be...hiring me?"
Doug
shrugged. "Well, it depends. I keep a kind of register of interested
folks. And then when someone comes along, like yourself, who I think might
be suitable for someone in particular, I make them known to each other.
Introduce them. Help things along." He smiled the warm, fake smile of
a professional salesman. "I know that right now this sounds like the
weirdest thing you've ever heard..."
**Don't
bet on it,** thought Cordelia.
"...but
really, it's no different to donating a pint of blood or a kidney."
"Except
that it's all my blood, both kidneys, every other major organ and the fun
skin-type wrapping on the package too."
Doug
said, "I can see you're not comfortable with this concept." He
put his hand on her shoulder and began to propel her towards the door.
Cordelia
made a fast decision. She let him walk her another three or four steps,
then deliberately slowed. With just the right amount of interest in her
voice, she said: "Ten **thousand** dollars?"
He
stopped and leaned towards her. In a low voice, he said: "Just between
to two of us, someone as attractive as you could certainly get a lot
more."
"Supposing-just
hypothetically supposing," said Cordelia, "that I was interested,
what would happen to me? I mean, how do I end up on the other side of this
deal? A rich disembodied voice?"
Doug was
shaking his head emphatically. "This is the beauty of the arrangement.
My clients are people of means. They've worked hard to get where they are
and maybe, on the way, they've missed out on a few of the fun things in
life. So while they get to re-experience their youth, you get the kind of
lifestyle it takes forty years to build."
"And
the kind of body it takes forty years to get too?"
"All
my clients are in excellent-well, reasonable-health," said Doug.
"I promise you won't wake up with terminal melanoma."
"Good
to know," said Cordelia. "You know, I heard this wild rumour-it
sounds stupid even to say it..."
Doug
smiled conspiratorially. "Go on."
"Judith
Forbes-Carson?" asked Cordelia.
He nodded
proudly. "That was one of my most successful exchanges."
If Doug
considered Mrs Forbes-Carson aka Trixie a success story, Cordelia wondered
how he defined failure. "Look, I don't wanna rush into anything
here..."
"Perfectly
understandable."
"Maybe
if you told me a little more about how this thing actually works?"
Quietly,
Doug said, "It's magic."
Cordelia
allowed her eyes to widen. "Real magic?" she said, with just the
right amount of breathless wonder. And, oh boy, those acting classes had
been worth every last cent, because Doug was eating it up.
He nodded
with almost infantile enthusiasm. "It's really very straightforward.
We're doing one tonight. Would you like to sit in?"
"Well,
if it's safe..."
"Come
with me." Doug turned Cordelia around and led her through several
storerooms and into the main warehouse, where a dozen men and women were
robing and making small talk. Cordelia followed her host through the group
to a chorus of 'Hi Doug's to the far wall, where a rotund businessman in
late middle age and bronzed surfer-dude type were standing next to each
other in awkward silence. They looked, thought Cordelia, like the last
guests at a party where all the interesting people had already paired off.
"Mr
Fernbaum. Brad," Doug greeted them warmly. "I'm just thrilled
you've decided to take this step." To Cordelia, he said, "I've a
got few things to take care of, but if you stand here you'll get a great
view."
She
smiled. "Thanks, Doug."
He smiled
back at her then left, ushering his clients to where the acolytes were
arranging themselves into a circle. Once he had positioned the two men in
the centre of the ring, Doug stepped into the twelve o'clock position.
The
gathering fell silent.
Doug
raised his arms dramatically. Show off, thought Cordelia. Then, letting
them drop, he reached into his robes and pulled out a frayed and yellowing
scroll. He unfurled it ceremoniously and began to read. "Spirits of
other places, we call on thee. Be present in this circle now..."
In the
rafters of the warehouse, a shadow moved. Cordelia looked around the
circle, but no one else appeared to have noticed.
She
raised her hand. "Uhh, excuse me?"
Fifteen
faces turned and looked at her.
"Hi.
Sorry to interrupt. Would you mind answering a question?"
"It'd
be a pleasure," said Doug, sounding as if it would be anything but.
"I
was just wondering, what if this whole exchange thing doesn't work
out?"
"It
always works out."
"Well,
yeah. But say it didn't. I mean, could you swap them back again?" She
pointed at the two men in the middle of the circle.
"Well,
of course," Doug told her. "It's just a matter of re-performing
the magic."
"Have
you ever done that?"
"I've
never needed to. Everybody's always satisfied with the exchange."
"Always?"
"Always,"
said Doug firmly. "Now, do you think we could move on here?"
"Oh,
yeah, sorry. Please, go right ahead. Don't mind me." Cordelia gave
Doug a big, fake smile, but didn't move too far from the circle. She
watched as the ritual began to build to a climax, not once taking her eyes
off the paper in Doug's hands.
Maybe,
she thought, she could dash in there and grab it. No points for subtlety,
but if she could just get outside, back to Wesley and the truck...
"Let
these spirits leap unfettered by this mortal flesh," read Doug. The
acolytes echoed the chant. Mr Fernbaum and Brad held hands nervously in the
middle of the circle.
No one
was paying any attention to Cordelia.
She'd
have to be ready to move fast, she thought, tensing. There would only be
one chance to get this right.
She took
a single step forward, and prepared to run.
And
suddenly found herself flat on the floor.
Cordelia
pushed herself up on to her hands and raised her head. The acolytes were
scattering; she looked around for Doug, but all she saw were a dozen
red-robed figures vanishing through various exits. After a second, she
realised why.
Angel.
"Oh,
God," said Cordelia, rolling her eyes.
He was in
full scary-as-shit vamp mode, taking on the only two acolytes who had been foolish
enough to engage in a fight. It was a matter of seconds before they were
running as well. Angel pulled Cordelia roughly to her feet. "Come
on."
"Wait,"
she said. "This is so not a good time-"
Angel
wasn't listening. As he dragged Cordelia out of the warehouse, she looked
back in time to catch a final glimpse of red satin vanishing into the
storerooms, while Mr Fernbaum and Brad the surfer dude stood in the huge
empty space, holding hands and looking faintly ridiculous.
"Well,
I find this very unprofessional," said Mr Fernbaum. "I'll be
demanding a full refund."
* * *
Cordelia
didn't say anything until they got back to the office. Not one word.
She fumed
silently in the back of the car, didn't open her mouth once. She felt like
a firecracker. She should have a warning sticker, she thought. One that
read, **light fuse and retire to a safe distance.**
Then, as
soon as they were inside, she exploded.
"What
the hell were you trying to do back there?" she demanded, taking off
her jacket and firing it angrily over the back of the chair in the corner.
"I
was...rescuing you?" said Angel. The sentence began as a statement,
mutating into a question as the look Cordelia was directing at him finally
began to register.
"And
did it occur to you **at all** that I might not need rescuing?"
He looked
at her in frank disbelief. "Well, seeing as you were entirely
surrounded by people performing extremely dangerous magic-no."
"Cordelia,"
said Wesley, his tone pacifying: "I have to say I was concerned for
your safety too, when you allowed that man to persuade you to accompany him
inside."
"He
didn't persuade me," said Cordelia. "I was playing him, Wesley.
He looked at me and his eyes rolled like a one armed bandit and came up
'bimbo'. I just went along with it to see what he'd tell me. Which was
pretty much everything." She pulled up her sleeve and began to dab at
the graze she had sustained when Angel had knocked her to the ground.
"Here's what I found out tonight. One, Mrs F-C is totally lying about
being kidnapped: she paid that guy I met to swap her with Trixie, and now
she's got a bad case of twenty-twenty hindsight. Two, my new best friend
Doug is running a business which will be profitable as long as there are
vain and stupid people in the world, so buy stock now. And three-" She
glared at Angel: "Three, I was about to grab the spell right off him
when Jean-Claude Van Damned here decided to butt in."
Gunn
looked up from the magazine he had been flipping through, obviously
impressed. "Whoah. Nice moves." He glanced at Angel: "Right
up to the part where someone else went and messed it up on you."
"I'm
sorry," said Angel. He sounded confused. "It was...an error of
judgement."
"No
shit," snapped Cordelia.
Wesley
gave her disapproving look and said, "Well, it does appear that this
evening was somewhat less successful than it might have been, but let's try
to look on the bright side. No one was hurt."
"This
time," said Cordelia pointedly. She folded her arms resolutely across
her chest and turned around so she was facing Angel. "We let you come
back on condition you stuck to our rules."
"I
am."
"No,
you're not," she told him. "You're acting like you know best and
whatever you do, we'll just fall into step behind you. Well, that's not how
it is any more. We've got our own way of doing things and you have to start
fitting in around us."
Coldly,
Angel said, "Perhaps if you'd told anybody what you were going to do
before you did it, I might have had the chance to fit in. I thought you
needed help."
The
contrite quality had disappeared from his tone, replaced by something
harder and more unpleasant. Some small part of Cordelia knew she was trying
to provoke him and that she was succeeding, and was glad. This was the
Angel she'd grown used to in recent months, the one it had become
increasingly easy to be angry at. The one she could feel good about hating.
"Guess
what, Angel? I don't want you to help me."
Wesley
raised one hand. "It's been a disappointing evening. Let's not say
things we'll regret later."
He was
trying, realised Cordelia. Wesley was really trying. He was finding this
whole set up as strange and confusing as she was but, because he was
Wesley, he was being mature and sensible and trying to make it hold
together. Something in her was sad that she was going to let him down by
her failure do the same. But right now Cordelia was furious, and she
couldn't stop the words tumbling bitterly out of her mouth.
"Gee,
Wesley, what could I possibly say that I might regret later? What would be
really hurtful and threatening and downright creepy? Oh, I know," she
exclaimed, as if suddenly struck by a profound insight. She walked slowly
across the office until she was toe-to-toe with Angel. She tipped her head
back so she could look him in the eye and said quietly, "Don't make me
move you."
Angel
looked at her, his expression cold and unreadable. "If you want me to
go, say so."
Cordelia
decided she'd had enough.
"Yes,
I want you to go. I want you to go away because every time my life finally
starts to hit a groove, you're the one who knocks it off track again. You
can't seem to decide who you are and I'm sick and tired of having to guess
if you're gonna be good or evil today. I wish you'd never had your damn
epiphany. I wish you'd never come back!"
The air
crackled with something that felt like electricity, but wasn't.
Cordelia
blinked as the room jumped around her, like an old and jerky piece of film.
When her vision came back into focus, she was momentarily disoriented. The
office was different. Wesley was in front of her, where he had been behind
her seconds before. The chair Gunn sat in was to her left instead of her
right. And facing her-
She was
looking down at her own face, and the expression of surprise and shock on
it was not hers.
She saw
herself stagger several paces backwards, and reach out for the support of
the desk.
"Cordelia?"
said Wesley, a note of alarm in his voice. He reached for his cane, but
Gunn was on his feet faster. Cordelia saw him cross the room and take
her-or more accurately, take her body-by the arm.
She
blinked, confused. He was holding her arm. Why couldn't she feel it?
"Cordy?"
asked Gunn, with concern.
She saw
her mouth open, heard her own voice say, "I'm not Cordelia."
Cordelia
said, "I think I'm having an out of body experience." Then she
gasped and put her hand to her mouth because when she spoke she sounded
just like-
"Angel?"
said Wesley.
Cordelia
shook her head. With ghastly but irresistible fascination, she watched a
mixture of emotions flit in rapid procession across her own face: confusion
followed by anxiety followed by realisation and finally horror. She saw her
own eyes dart about the room, searching for something, and when at last
their gaze settled on herself, Cordelia recognised what she saw in them.
And with a sinking, sick feeling she knew what the only explanation for her
altered point of view was.
"Guys,
it's me. Cordelia. And I'm-I'm in Angel."
Gunn
looked down at Angel in Cordelia's body, then across the room at Cordelia
in Angel's.
"Houston,"
he said: "We have a problem."
2: Role Reversal
Wesley lifted the
book he had been consulting, wincing slightly at the strain the extra
weight placed on the half-healed muscles in his side. He carried it
carefully back into the main office. "I believe I know what
happened."
"Jeez, Wesley, I
think I could probably make a wild stab at that myself."
He blinked, and made
a conscious effort not to react to the peculiarity of hearing Cordelia
speak using Angel's voice. He suspected she was sufficiently distressed
already without being treated like the star attraction in a travelling
freak show as well.
But there was no
denying it, this was downright bizarre.
Cordelia sat at the
far side of the office, holding a cup of coffee in Angel's hands, wearing
Angel's clothes, Angel's coat, Angel's body, Angel's face. But the
expression on that face, without any doubt, was pure Cordelia. Wesley
realised he had not understood until now how much personality defined
appearance, how it could be possible for the essence of an individual's
character to remain even when separated from the face and form it was meant
to occupy.
At the office's
entrance, Angel leaned against the door frame, wearing Cordelia's brightly
patterned sunflower print blouse and a sick expression on her face. He had
barely said a word since the exchange.
Wesley pushed his
glasses up on to the bridge of his nose and nodded. "Well, yes, I
suppose what happened is fairly self-evident. What I meant was, I believe I
know why it happened."
From where he sat on
the desk near Cordelia-as-Angel, Gunn said, "This I can't wait to
hear."
"Delayed effects
are not uncommon in magic," explained Wesley. "In this instance,
I think that by interrupting the spell while it was in progress, Angel
prevented the magical energy which had already built up from discharging
fully. That created a kind of backwash of magic, a wave of potential energy
that had to find some way to disperse."
"But why
us?" asked Cordelia.
"Probably
because you were arguing. Strong emotions have frequently been noted as
having powerful catalytic effects with respect to magic."
"Let me get this
straight," said Gunn. "You're sayin' there was all this loose
magic floatin' around, and when Cordy started shouting, it just kinda
earthed?"
"More or
less," said Wesley.
"Okay, so how do
we un-earth it?" asked Cordelia-as-Angel. "Like, right now?"
Reassuringly, Wesley
told her, "The magic is reversible. Quite easily reversible, in fact.
All we have to do is re-perform the ritual." He hesitated, wishing
there was some way to avoid what had to be said next. "There is,
unfortunately, a small complication. The spell must be re-cast with the
original participants present, and it must be done within twelve hours of
the first ritual."
Cordelia-as-Angel
looked up. "I sense an 'or' looming. What's the 'or'?"
As gently as he
could, Wesley said, "Or it can't be reversed at all."
Cordelia bit
her-Angel's-lip. She looked down at the coffee she hadn't drunk, then back
up at Wesley and Gunn. "What time is it?"
From the doorway,
Angel spoke for the first time. He brought a measured, solemn quality to
Cordelia's voice, and somehow made her sound much older than her twenty
years. "It's eight forty five now. We interrupted the ritual at about
half past six."
Which put the
deadline at the coming dawn, thought Wesley. One night to fix this mess.
It wasn't going to be
long enough.
With an edge of panic
Cordelia-as-Angel said, "There must have been a dozen people in that
warehouse. And we don't know who any of them are or where they went-how are
we gonna find them all before tomorrow morning?"
Hiding his concern,
Wesley limped across the office until he was next to Cordelia. He put his
hand on her knee and tried not to think what that must look like. "We
must be positive about this."
"Positive?"
Her voice began to rise. "Positive? Well, excuse me for not being
chirpy enough for everyone!"
"Cordy,"
said Gunn: "Deep breaths, huh?"
It was the wrong
thing to say. "I'm dead! I don't breathe!"
"Cordelia,"
began Angel.
"And you can
just shut up. I don't want to hear another word from you!"
With alarm, Wesley
saw that Cordelia was veering dangerously close to hysteria. He suspected
that having to listen to someone else speaking in her voice wasn't helping
to calm her. "Angel, please wait outside."
Wesley glanced over
his shoulder just in time to catch the wounded, guilt-ridden look which
flitted across Angel-as-Cordelia's new face before he could suppress it
entirely. He hesitated for a moment; then he turned around and walked out
of the office and into the hallway.
Immediately Wesley
felt the tension in the room-or, at least, some element of it-diffuse. When
he looked away from the empty doorway, he noted with relief that Cordelia
was somewhat calmer.
Gunn said, "We
gotta be smart about this. Here's what I'm thinkin': that guy Doug you
talked to has gotta be the ringleader in this. We find him, he leads us to
the others."
Wesley nodded,
grateful to have found even the thinnest sliver of real hope. "If this
was some kind of business arrangement, then Mrs Forbes-Carson probably had
dealings with him on a number of occasions before she underwent the ritual.
If she lied about how she came to be exchanged with Trixie, perhaps she does
know who he is and how to contact him."
"Then we start
with her," said Gunn. "Meantime, I say we call in every source
we've got. You don't play musical bodies for money on a regular basis
without someone knowing about it." He looked at Wesley, then Cordelia.
"It's a lot of ground to cover in one night. We should split, two and
two. How d'you wanna do this?"
"Unfortunately,"
said Wesley, "I don't think we have a choice."
* * *
"It's a remote
possibility but I don't want to miss the slightest chance we might have of
resolving this...regrettable situation," said Wesley.
Angel-as-Cordelia
looked at him. He was sitting on the fourth-to-last stair in the hallway
outside the office, at eye level with Wesley. "Together?"
"It's rare, but
not unknown, for translocations to reverse automatically if the magic fails
to take. But if it happens at all, it'll happen when you're together. So
you are not to leave her side all night. Understood?"
Angel-as-Cordelia
nodded. "Have you, uhh, told her yet?"
"Gunn's
explaining it to her now," said Wesley. He had barely spoken when he
heard the words 'You have got to be fucking kidding me' explode in Angel's
voice from the office. He winced. "I believe we can consider her
informed."
Angel-as-Cordelia
looked stung. "What do you need us to do?"
"Gunn and I will
contact Mrs Forbes-Carson and try to find these people through her. While
we're doing that, you'll be contacting every source of information in L.A.
you can think of."
"Right,"
said Angel-as-Cordelia. He paused. "Wes, I-"
"No," said
Wesley coldly. "Not a word. I don't want to hear it, and I certainly
don't want to hear it from Cordelia's mouth in Cordelia's voice."
For a moment, he saw
an all-too-familiar hardness in Angel-as-Cordelia's face. "I didn't
intend things to go wrong."
"And yet,
strangely, when you got involved they did."
The silence
stretched. Then the anger in Angel's face melted away until the expression
that remained was merely tired and pained. For a moment he bore a striking
resemblance to Cordelia in the immediate aftermath of a vision, and Wesley
felt the first faint stirrings of empathy for him. Rationally, he couldn't
hold Angel responsible for what had happened: he had only done exactly what
Gunn or Wesley would have, given the same apparent situation and limited
information. But the fact remained that it had not been himself or Gunn who
had precipitated this crisis-it had been Angel. Angel's mistake had harmed
Cordelia, and Cordelia was part of Wesley's emotional landscape now while
Angel...was not.
"The Wesley I
used to know was more sympathetic."
Coolly, Wesley said,
"You had my sympathy four months ago. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm
going to see how Cordelia's bearing up."
* * *
**I'm bearing up,**
thought Cordelia. **I am bearing up. Yep, orientation-wise, my bearing is
vertically positive.**
It was a pretty
stupid phrase, any way you thought about it. Typical of Wesley in full
crisis mode: stoic and chock-full of stiff upper lip Englishness. She'd wanted
to tell him as much when he'd asked her; but there was something so earnest
and so compassionate in his manner that she had heard herself say, in
Angel's voice, that yeah, she was okay, she was dealing. She was bearing
up.
She was bearing up,
and any second now she might start screaming and not stop.
Anything to break the
silence.
She'd never realised
how much background noise a living body made, until suddenly it wasn't
there any more. The murmured pa-pump of a beating heart, circulating blood
hissing somewhere in the depths of her inner ear, the gentle susurration of
breathing-all gone now, leaving a vast and quiet void in her head where her
thoughts bounced emptily off each other.
"Cordelia?
Cordy?"
She started at the
sound of her name spoken in her own voice. Cordelia had done enough screen
tests and audition tapes to know what she sounded like when recorded and
played back, but this was different again. Angel brought a new timbre to
her speech, with inflection which was subtly but definitely not her own.
She wondered if she was changing his voice and if so could he hear the
difference, and was he as wigged out as she was. There'd been a time when
she could have asked him.
"I wasn't
listening. What was that?"
"I said, we
could try Kate first, see if she still has contacts in the police. Then
Caritas. After that I have a few other ideas." Angel hesitated.
"I mean, if that's okay with you."
"Fine,
whatever," said Cordelia. She stopped. "No, not fine. Since when
is Kate back on our Christmas card list?"
"It's a long
story. But I think she'll be willing to help."
It sounded as if she
and Angel weren't the only people who'd pulled a major switcheroonie
recently, thought Cordelia, but she was too distracted to pursue the matter
further. "Yeah. Sure."
His tone
conciliatory, Angel said, "If you had any suggestions, that'd be fine
too."
Great. He had to pick
now to instigate consultative decision making. Now, when she was a hair's
breadth from losing it completely and just wanted someone to tell her what
to do to make it all right. She wished Wesley and Gunn hadn't gone already.
"No. We'll do it
your way," she said, and immediately regretted it, because somehow the
words came out sounding stonier and more distant than she'd intended. God,
she sounded like Angel.
Of course she sounded
like Angel.
"Let's just go.
We're wasting time."
"Right. I'm
parked just down the street." She watched as Angel put on her jacket
and left. After a second she steeled herself, and followed him.
Even walking felt
wrong, and the strangeness intensified at each step; every movement only
made her more aware of the extra height, width and bulk she carried. She
ducked to go through the office door because it seemed so much lower than
she was used to, and only afterwards remembered she had never seen Angel
stoop to enter, so it probably hadn't been necessary.
The convertible was
parked a block away; she could see it clearly, even though half the street
lamps were knocked out and it was a typically starless and moonless smoggy
L.A. night.
Just walk, she
thought. Just focus on getting that far. Hold together that long. One foot
in front of the other, see now, you're doing okay, we're good here-
She heard a gasp and
a grunt from her side and looked around just as Angel tripped and fell into
an ungainly heap on the sidewalk, splaying her arms and legs in all
directions.
"Are you
okay?"
He sat up, and
grimaced. "My ankle hurts." He touched the foot tentatively and
said, sounding surprised: "It-really hurts."
"Can you move
it?"
He flexed the joint,
and winced. "Oww."
Cordelia nodded,
satisfied. "It's not broken, you just turned it. It'll be okay in an
hour or two. Jeez, Angel, you've haven't been me for any time and already
I'm injured."
"Maybe if you
wore shoes that didn't bear so close a resemblance to a modern sculpture
installation, I wouldn't have fallen," he said, pointing at her
sandals.
"They're Jimmy
Choos," she said defensively.
"They're death
traps."
Privately, she had to
admit he had a point. The sandals were gorgeous, with green suede trimming
and three inch heels; they were also completely impractical if the wearer
intended doing anything other than standing around looking pretty.
"Wait here," she said. "I'll be right back."
She went back to the
office and found the pair of ancient but comfortable pumps she kept in the
bottom drawer of her desk. Returning with them, she waited while Angel put
them on. When he started to stand up, she reached out a hand automatically
to help him, taking him by the wrist and pulling him to his feet.
She felt
his-her?-warm wrist, and the steady beat of a pulse underneath soft, living
flesh. She let go of him abruptly and stared at her big, cold hands. Dead
flesh.
Angel said quietly,
"Cordelia, I know what it's like to-"
Angrily, she said,
"No. Don't tell me you understand, or that you know what this is like.
You've been dead for centuries: I had a pulse at dinnertime." She
turned and quickly walked the rest of the distance to the convertible,
aware that Angel was limping somewhere behind her. When she was standing by
the car and he had finally caught her up, she said, "I don't want to
talk; I don't even want to look at you unless I have to. I just want to get
back to being me as fast as possible. And what are you waiting for?"
she added, irritated. "Let's go already."
"You've got the
keys. They're in my pocket."
"Oh." She
reached into the coat and found them. It took several attempts to unlock
the car: her hands were too large and she kept fumbling. At last the key
slid into the lock, and she turned it with relief and opened the door. She
got into the car, revelling in her small victory. She was okay; she could
do this.
And then, out of
habit and without thinking, she glanced at the convertible's wing mirror to
check her eyeliner wasn't smudged.
She stared into the
empty space the mirror reflected back at her. She couldn't take her eyes
off it. After a second the wing mirror and the street beyond it began to
blur.
She heard Angel say
in her voice, "Are you all right?"
Cordelia blinked
hard, and swallowed. She tore her gaze away from the mirror.
"I'm bearing
up," she said. "Let's go."
* * *
"I was going to
tell you," said Judith Forbes-Carson. "I was going to tell you
right up to the second I walked in the door. And then I thought-I thought
about what a foolish, stupid old woman I was, and..."
Her voice trailed
into a breathy sigh. Not quite sure what else to do, Wesley patted the back
of one smooth, creamy-skinned hand sympathetically. Judith looked up, her
lower lip trembling and her big brown eyes brimming with tears in an
expression of pitiable vulnerability which had probably reeled in any
red-blooded man Trixie Lavelle had decided she wanted. "You're
absolutely sure?" she asked.
"I'm
sorry," said Wesley. "This particular genus of translocation
spell is designed to be permanent. The initial twelve hour period during
which it's reversible is only there as a kind of safety clause. The magic's
creators probably imagined anyone undergoing the procedure would have
thought carefully about what they were doing."
Judith looked down at
the table top again, and said nothing. The clock above the stove in the
kitchenette of Trixie Lavelle's tiny apartment ticked loudly in the
silence, striking off each second of the passing night. When Wesley glanced
over Judith's bowed head, he saw Gunn standing in the doorway, tapping his
watch and silently mouthing exhortations to get on with it. Time moving on,
thought Wesley. Time running out.
"I did think
about it," said Judith. "I mean, I thought I'd thought about it.
I was just so sick of-of everything. Of nips and tucks and an hour on the
exercise bike every day and never eating anything that tasted good. And
then I found out what Jerry'd been doing all those times he said he was
working late, and after I made him leave I spent so many hours just looking
in the mirror and only seeing the flaws and the wrinkles and then this man
contacted me..." She stopped. "I didn't really think about it at
all. I'm a vain old woman. I suppose I deserve this."
"It's not a
crime to make a mistake. No one deserves to be punished for that,"
Wesley told her, and felt a twinge of guilt. Go tell it to Angel.
Judith-as-Trixie
smiled a thin, grateful smile, which quickly faded. "You can't imagine
what it's like to have to be someone else. It's like wearing a suit that
doesn't fit, except you can't take it off, not for a second. And now I
can't take it off ever."
"Judith,"
said Wesley: "I sincerely wish we could have done more for you. But
now we need your help. Earlier this evening we interrupted a ritual like
the one you participated in and, well...We've had a slight-you might call
it a technical hiccup."
Her eyes widened in
surprise, and he saw her look first at himself, then Gunn. "You mean
you're-?"
"Oh, no,"
said Wesley quickly. "But our associates-Cordelia and
Angel-they're..."
"...They're
having the identity crisis to end identity crises," finished Gunn
helpfully.
Wesley would not have
thought it possible, but Judith's eyes widened even further. "But
they're not even the same-"
Gunn held up a hand:
"It's worse than that. Trust me, it's a whole lot worse."
Wesley leaned forward
across the small table. "We need to find the man running this
operation, and we need to find him before tomorrow morning. You're our best
chance."
Judith shook her
head, causing Trixie's long blonde curls to bounce around her ears. "I
never even knew who he was. He just called me up one day and made me
this-incredible offer. I never stopped to wonder, why me."
"Think,
Judith," pressed Wesley. "Did you have any way of contacting him?
A telephone number, an address, anything?"
"No," she
said, more definitely. "He always called me. I never even met him
until the night of the ceremony."
Wesley took off his
glasses and massaged his temples with his fingertips in a vain attempt to
dull the throbbing pain which was blooming inside his skull. His side hurt
more than it had for days, and after a second he realised why: in the
evening's confusion, he had forgotten to take the second of his two daily
doses of painkillers.
Suddenly Gunn said,
"I bet he'd met Trixie before then."
Wesley opened his
eyes and looked across the room. He felt a slow smile begin to spread over
his face. "Of course. He must have met her-how else could he make sure
she was, well, up to standard?"
Gunn nodded. "So
maybe she knows something more about this guy."
"We have to find
Trixie."
"Oh, that's
easy," said Judith Forbes-Carson. "I mean, she's me. She's living
at my house."
* * *
Add milk slowly. Beat
until mixture is a smooth, creamy consistency.
Kate re-read the
instructions in the recipe book. She looked at the glossy photograph on the
opposite page and then at her effort, which was currently launching a
spirited escape attempt from its bowl. Smooth, creamy consistency. Huh. She
lifted the wooden spoon out of the batter and watched large, solid lumps
slide off it to rejoin the parent entity below.
Well, she'd just have
to beat the damn thing into submission.
She mixed with a
vengeance, cradling the bowl in her left arm and attacking her first ever
attempt at dumplings with the spoon in her right hand. She was surprised
how relaxed she felt, how enjoyable she'd found the simple tasks of
weighing, blending and mixing. Even if the end result was something less
than haute cuisine.
She'd never learnt to
cook; her mother's death and a father who believed the human body's
nutritional requirements could be adequately met by a combination of
caffeine, nicotine and three day old pizzas had seen to that. And as an
adult she had told herself she just didn't have the time.
And now suddenly she
did. And it was-good.
The empty days she
had initially found so terrifying were somehow filling themselves more than
adequately. She was sleeping more soundly and for longer, and for the first
time in months she wasn't waking up at three a.m, chest tight, gasping for
air. She'd read a novel, cover to cover; she was eating three meals a
day-real food, nothing from cans or containing the word 'quik' in its brand
name-and she'd started working out again. She had gained a little weight,
and she felt better than she had in too long. Far, far too long.
Kate wasn't sure what
was happening to her, but she suspected that maybe-just maybe-she was
starting to heal.
Now, if she could
just master the intricacies of batter too...
The buzzer of her
apartment door sounded. She put down the bowl and spoon and took a moment
to wipe her hands clean before answering it. She was mildly surprised but
not displeased to see the two people standing shoulder to shoulder on the
landing.
"Angel.
Cordelia. Hi."
Angel sighed and
rolled his eyes theatrically. "Actually, it's more like, Cordelia,
Angel, hi."
Kate looked at him.
He seemed...off. Not off as he had been lately-bleak, grim, desperate-but
in an awkward-gangly-adolescent way. He was standing stiffly, as if he
didn't know what to do with his arms. So, for that matter, was Cordelia.
"Uhh, okay.
Cordelia, Angel, hi." She smiled. "So now you're well and truly
hi'ed, you wanna come in?"
Angel looked at
Cordelia, his expression confused. "Was that an invitation? I mean, am
I gonna need something more specific than that, or does the rule not apply
'cause I'm not, y'know, you?"
Cordelia seemed to
have to think about that. "Well, I've been here before-although I
wasn't invited-but if I'm not even me-" She stopped and rubbed the
bridge of her nose tiredly. "You know what? I have no idea."
Kate stared at them,
confused. Slowly, she said, "If I ask what's going on here, will I
regret it a lot? Because I think I could cope with regretting it a little,
but if we're talking about a major case of 'Why the hell did I ever get
involved' later on, I'd prefer to know now."
Cordelia said,
"Kate, could you invite us both in? We need help."
"That much is
obvious," said Kate. "Come inside. Both of you."
* * *
"So
you're...?"
"Yes."
"And
you're...?"
"Yeah."
Kate sat back in her
chair and tried to wrap her head around that.
Nope, not happening.
She pointed at Angel
and tried again. "So you're really...?"
"Oh, for crying
out loud, yes. I'm Cordelia. Cordy. Vision girl. CC. Ms Chase. What do you
want-name tags? A diagram?"
"Cordy, let's
give Kate a minute to work through this, okay?"
And that did it.
Seeing Angel waving his hands and rolling his eyes in exasperation while
Cordelia sat rigidly in her seat, wearing the same preoccupied, vaguely
concerned expression which normally haunted Angel's features-something
clicked in Kate's head. Mentally, she swapped them over, re-named them.
And started to laugh.
Cordelia-as-Angel
glared at her. "Oh great. Now we're having a funny crisis."
Kate put her hand
over her mouth in a doomed attempt to stifle the giggling fit overtaking
her. When that proved futile, she gave in and laughed until her ribs hurt.
"Oh God. I'm-sympathetic-hee!-I really am-but-" She made herself
sober up: "It's just that-my whole life's been doom and gloom for so
long and this is just so-so-oh God!" She cracked up again.
Dryly,
Cordelia-as-Angel said, "Yeah, it's hilarious, we get it. Someone sew
my sides back up, please." She sighed and, looking at
Angel-as-Cordelia, corrected herself: "Sew his sides back up."
Laughter under
control at last, Kate shook her head, bemused. "What happened?"
Cordelia-as-Angel
looked glumly down at her coffee. The expressiveness she brought to Angel's
usually stony face was so comical it almost set Kate off again. She checked
herself just in time. "We picked the wrong magical rite to
gatecrash."
"Bum deal,"
said Kate. "But I'm not entirely sure what I can do about it."
Angel-as-Cordelia
said, "To undo the magic, we need to reconvene the circle with the
same people. Which means first we have to find them."
"So it's all
hands to the pump time," concluded Cordelia-as-Angel, "'cause
tomorrow at dawn, we get a bad case of permanence."
"Right,"
said Kate, understanding. She put down her coffee cup and went to get her
address book from its home under the telephone. "Tell me the details
and I'll see what I can find out. But I gotta tell you, my contacts aren't
what they used to be."
"Anything you
can do," said Angel-as-Cordelia sounding, thought Kate, as close to
pathetically grateful as she'd ever heard him. She guessed it was a lot
harder to carry off the menacing creature of the night routine when you
were wearing a floral print T-shirt and had dimples. As he finished
outlining the specifics of the rite they had interrupted, Angel-as-Cordelia
looked down at his empty cup, then up at Kate, apparently suddenly
uncomfortable. "I think I need to...Uhh, could I use your
bathroom?"
Kate, who had begun
flipping through her address book, nodded absently. "Go right
ahead." When she looked up, Angel-as-Cordelia was disappearing down
the hallway that led to the rest of Kate's small apartment while
Cordelia-as-Angel watched him go. Kate realised something which had never
wholly dawned on her before. "Do vampires ever need to pee?"
Cordelia-as-Angel
stared morosely at her empty mug. "Well, I just drank two cups of
coffee, so I guess I'm gonna find out sooner rather than later."
She sighed with such
heartfelt gloom that the last vestiges of Kate's inclination to laugh
disappeared, replaced by sympathy. If that were you in there, Kate, she
thought, you'd be having a nervous breakdown right about now. Another one.
Evidently Cordelia's
coping mechanisms were right at the top end of the bell-curve, and Kate was
quietly impressed.
She put down the
address book and sat down on the edge of the sofa, beside
Cordelia-as-Angel. Not entirely sure what do next, she put her hand on one
big, solid shoulder. The thought came that she wished that she were better
at girl-to-girl bonding, followed almost immediately by the thought that
this wasn't strictly girl-to-girl anyway, so it probably didn't matter.
"Are you, uhh, holding up okay?"
Cordelia-as-Angel
smiled, almost convincingly. "I'm getting by. I mean, magic going
wrong is practically a theme with me."
"It is?"
Cordelia-as-Angel
nodded. "There was this time at high school, I had a fight with my now
totally ex-boyfriend, and he cast a spell to make me love him desperately.
Only, instead it made every woman in town adore him except me."
Kate blinked.
"Sounds like something out of Shakespeare."
"It was. Right
up to the point where his new girlfriends started chasing us with carving
knives and meat cleavers."
Slowly, Kate said,
"Your high school...wasn't like other schools, was it?"
"We had a
doorway to hell underneath the library. And the guest speaker at my
graduation tried to eat the class of '99." She shut her-Angel's-eyes
for a second and rubbed her-Angel's-hand across them. Somehow she made him
seem very young. With a sudden and certain insight, Kate realised the
bravado performance Cordelia was maintaining in his presence was just that:
a performance.
She wanted to say
something reassuring. "Look, I know squat about magic, but it makes
sense that something that's been done can be undone. You won't be stuck
this way."
"God, I hope
not. I don't wanna be dead for the rest of my life." Cordelia-as-Angel
frowned. "That didn't make sense. You know what I mean."
Kate smiled, gently
this time. "I know."
"But that's not
all. I mean, if I had to be Wesley, or Gunn-well, it'd still be squicky and
too gross for words, but it's Angel and...it's all that and other stuff
too." She looked up at Kate and finished, "We're not right with
each other. It's making this even yeckier. If more yeck were
possible."
"Take it from an
old hand," Kate told her: "With relationships, more yeck is
always possible."
She heard the
bathroom door open and close and looked around to see Angel-as-Cordelia
returning to the living room. He was several shades paler than he had been
five minutes earlier, but otherwise he seemed to have survived his
encounter with mortal, female internal plumbing unscathed. "Cordelia,
we should go."
Cordelia-as-Angel
stood up. "Yeah, I know. Places to go, people to beg for help."
She made for the door.
Angel-as-Cordelia
hesitated, and turned back to Kate. "If anything comes up, better call
Wesley."
"Not you?"
Cordelia-as-Angel shook
her head. "They don't allow cell phones where we're going next. Or
magic or violence. In fact, anything that might interrupt the
singing."
"The sing-"
Kate started, then stopped. "No. I do not want to know. Look, I
promise I'll call him the instant I get anything useful, okay?"
"Thanks,"
said Angel-as-Cordelia.
Kate smiled at him,
but it was Cordelia-as-Angel she was looking at when she said, "I hope
you work it out. I really do."
* * *
Judith
Forbes-Carson's house was in fact something closer to a mansion, a
sprawling edifice with a faux-nineteenth century style facade located far
away from any road in the less flashy but more exclusive part of Beverly
Hills. Gunn raised an eyebrow as they approached it. "Buckingham
Palace eat your heart out."
"Buckingham
Palace isn't this impressive," said Wesley.
Judith shrugged.
"I had a good divorce lawyer." She walked up to the door and
pressed the buzzer.
A minute passed. Then
the door opened slowly, and Wesley found himself face to face with a small,
middle-aged man wearing a servant's plain dark suit and tie. He looked at
Gunn, then Judith-as-Trixie, then Wesley, and finally at Gunn's battered
pick-up, whose tyres had cut deep grooves through the drive's carefully
raked gravel. "Good evening."
"We're here to
see Mrs Forbes-Carson," said Wesley.
"I'm sorry, Mrs
Forbes-Carson isn't expecting any visitors tonight." The door began to
shut.
"It's a
surprise," said Gunn. "Y'know, we go way back with Mrs F-C, and
we were in the 'hood so we thought we'd stop by."
The man looked at him
in frank incredulity. "Way back?"
"Well, not way
back," said Wesley, "But we do know her, at least in a manner of
speaking, and it's quite important-look here, could you just let us
in?"
"I'm
sorry," said the man, and started to close the door.
"Henry,"
said Judith suddenly.
The inch-wide gap
stopped narrowing. After a second, it widened again, hesitantly.
"Henry,"
said Judith, "You have worked here for twelve years, and every
Christmas you get a special bonus which you send to your poor sick sister
and her four children in Pittsburgh. Except your sister is a stripper in
Inglewood and you have to pretty damn healthy to do the kinds of things she
gets up to every night."
Henry hesitated.
Then, with dignity, he said, "The preferred term is 'exotic dancer'.
It's a good profession. She's in the union."
Judith sighed.
"I don't care, Henry. I never did."
Sensing an
opportunity, Wesley said, "Henry, would I be correct in saying that
your employer has been behaving somewhat unusually lately? That she hasn't
been quite herself, perhaps?"
The man hesitated.
Then he stood back and opened the door.
The noise swamped
Wesley immediately. It came in waves from the far end of the mansion's art
deco entrance hall, and sounded like someone enthusiastically torturing
cats. He winced. "What is that?"
"Mrs
Forbes-Carson has been demonstrating a hitherto unsuspected eclecticism of
taste recently," said Henry. "I believe this is a musical work
from the Marilyn Manson oeuvre. Or possibly the Wu-Tang Clan."
He went to the
archway at the end of the entrance hall and stood just outside it.
"Excuse me, Mrs Forbes-Carson, you have visitors." He raised his
voice over the noise: "Mrs Forbes-Carson."
Judith marched past
him. "Trixie Lavelle, I know you're there."
Gunn looked at
Wesley, who shrugged and followed her.
Beyond the archway he
found himself in an octagonal sun-room, tastefully furnished with
free-standing sculptures and wicker chairs. A variety of carefully placed
flowering plants were plainly intended to enhance the atmosphere of quiet
contemplation.
Unfortunately,
thought Wesley, the blaring stereo system and assorted empty pizza boxes
and candy wrappers somewhat destroyed the ambience.
And sprawling on the
floor between two mounds of cushions-
"Some folks just
shouldn't wear lycra," murmured Gunn. "Nothin' personal. I'm just
sayin'."
The last time Wesley
had seen Judith Forbes-Carson-or seen her body, to be accurate-she had been
wearing a flowing silk gown and matching tailored jacket. In a contest
between that and skin-tight leggings and a tight T-shirt, he decided, there
simply wasn't a decision to be made.
Judith-as-Trixie
swept across the room and turned off the stereo. Trixie-as-Judith looked
aggrieved. "I was listening to that."
"We need to
talk," said Judith.
"Uh-uh,"
said Trixie, clambering awkwardly to her feet. It was bizarre, thought
Wesley, but despite inhabiting a body which was well middle-aged and then
some, everything about the way she moved screamed gauche adolescence.
"You're not getting back in here. Not yet."
"I'm not getting
back in there ever."
Trixie said, "We
made a deal and this is my vacation and it's not over yet so you can't make
me and-"
A horrible suspicion
began to form in Wesley's mind.
"-and I like
being rich, so there," finished Trixie.
"Oh shit,"
said Gunn. "She doesn't know."
Trixie looked at him.
"Know what?"
Something in Judith's
expression changed, anger melting into compassion. "Sweetheart, this
isn't a vacation. This is how we are now."
Trixie stared around
the room. It was a young, frightened stare in a lined face. "But Doug
said-" She broke off and, with a series of small, whimpering gasps,
started to cry.
Within seconds she
was sobbing, shoulders heaving as she hugged her arms around herself.
Abruptly, Judith went to her. "Oh, honey. I'm sorry. You're only a
girl, and I should have known better, I should have..." She drew
Trixie to herself and embraced her, rocking her gently. "Henry, fetch
some tissues from the box in my bedroom, please."
Wesley looked back at
the doorway where Henry stood, apparently confounded. He turned to go,
walked several steps, then turned back. "Ahh. Who, ahh, who
are...?"
"Call me
Trixie," said Judith. "I'll be staying here for a while."
Henry looked no less
confused, but he nodded and left.
Judith was stroking
Trixie's silver-streaked hair and whispering soft, reassuring words to her.
Gunn shook his head.
"We ain't gonna get anything useful here. The kid was duped."
Judith, still holding
Trixie, looked up at Wesley. Quietly, she said, "He said he was called
Doug, but I never knew his last name. And when we were planning the ritual,
he told me it had to be at night because he was tied up during the day. He
phoned once in the morning, I heard people talking in the background, like
an office. And that's everything I know."
"Thank
you," said Wesley.
Judith-as-Trixie
nodded. "We'll be okay now. You'd better go."
Leaving the sun room,
Wesley and Gunn made their way through the entrance hall and through the
still-open front door to the truck parked outside. As he got in, Wesley
said, "I should have guessed as much. There must be many more rich
people who want to be younger than there are young people willing to give
up forty years of their lifespans, no matter how much money is involved. So
he lets them think it's just a temporary arrangement." He thought
about Trixie, seventeen going on fifty, and felt something within himself
harden. "I'm beginning to feel a certain degree of animosity towards
this fellow Doug."
"Huh," said
Gunn. "I just want to kick the shit out of the son of a bitch."
* * *
It was a quiet night
at Caritas, and less than half the tables were taken. The few patrons were
regulars, content to nurse their drinks and talk quietly, the exception
being one large and rowdy party of succubi out on a hen night. Angel guided
Cordelia towards an unoccupied booth beside the main stage, where two
zombies were duetting 'Every Time You Go Away'. On the line, 'You take a
piece of me with you', the male zombie pulled off his right arm at the
socket and handed it to his date, who got tearful as she accepted it. Or
maybe that was just pus weeping from her rotting eyeballs. Either way,
thought Cordelia, it lacked class.
As the song finished,
the Host appeared from the wings, clapping with exaggerated appreciation.
"Maurice and Maura: not even rigor mortis stands in the way of their
love. Give them a big hand-and who knows, maybe they'll swap some other
appendages with you too!" He looked down from the stage and straight
at Cordelia and Angel. Somehow seeing past the glare of the spotlights, he
winked at them. "We're gonna take a little breather now: that is,
those of us who do breathe. Order another round; I'm back in ten."
The Host hopped down
from the stage and made his way to their booth. "Well, now, here's a
sight to gladden the blackest of demon hearts. Isn't it nice that
you're-gahhhh!"
Putting a hand to his
head, the Host reeled backwards in apparent agony. Angel stood up and made
to help him, and was warded off by one green hand raised in warning.
"Oh, no. Not one step closer, you hear?"
Cordelia said,
"We need your help."
"You don't hear
me arguing. Sheesh. You're not a melody, you're a cacophony. You're an
explosion in an aura factory." The Host took several deep breaths, and
straightened up. He tugged the lapels of his jacket flat and took a
cautious step closer to their table. "I'm staying; I'm talking. But
one condition-don't either of you sing. Don't hum. Don't even whistle a
happy tune. Whatever's going on in those pretty heads of yours right now, I
do not want to be in on it. I'm getting a migraine just standing
here."
"We feel your
pain," said Cordelia, with sarcasm. "But I think our situation is
maybe slightly more serious."
"But
funny," pointed out the Host. "You two, just sitting here: comedy
gold."
"Great. We'll
pitch it to the networks. Maybe we'll get our own show."
"Cordy,"
said Angel. He looked at the Host. "We've got until dawn to reverse
this. The people conducting the rite we interrupted ran off. We have to
find them tonight."
The Host sucked in
his breath. "Sweetie, do you know how many magical rites go on in this
city on any given night?"
Angel started to
reply, and Cordelia tried to concentrate on the conversation, but somehow
couldn't. There was a strange and cold emptiness in the pit of her stomach,
and she wanted something to make it go away; something she couldn't define,
but wanted badly nevertheless.
A waiter walked past
them, holding a tray laden with an mixture of improbably coloured drinks.
The largest was a tall glass of deep red liquid which steamed slightly and
threw off an aroma completely unlike anything Cordelia had ever known. It
was thick and intoxicating; it smelled like dinner cooking if you hadn't
eaten for days, like the sharp sweet scent of rain after a month in the
desert, like the only thing she'd ever wanted or ever would want.
Cordelia turned her
head and followed the waiter's progress through the club. She had to grip
the edge of the table to stop herself getting up and following him.
"They were
running it like a business," Angel was saying to the Host:
"People paying money to be younger or prettier or whatever. So maybe
they were advertising their services. Someone must know something."
"Angel,"
said Cordelia urgently.
The Host pursed his
lips thoughtfully. "I can ask around for you."
Cordelia reached
across the table and pulled at the sleeve of Angel's blouse, stretching the
yellow-and-blue sunflower pattern out of shape. "Angel, I'm hungry. I
mean really, really hungry."
"You're in the
right place, honey. We serve the best creature of the night cuisine this
side of the Mason-Dixie line," said the Host. He stood up and waved at
the nearest waiter. "Paolo, one straight red for the lady in my undead
friend's body over here. Bring a human menu too." As an afterthought,
he added: "I'm going to see if we have any Tylenol out back. My head's
killing me." Massaging his horns, he left.
The waiter lifted a
menu card from a nearby empty table and gave it to Angel. Then he
disappeared in the direction of the bar.
Cordelia drummed her
fingers against the tabletop. This wasn't hunger; it was unadulterated,
all-consuming need. "Oh God. I'm gonna die if I don't get something to
eat now."
At the other side of
the table, Angel was watching her with a kind of saddened helplessness, as
if he wanted desperately to do something for her but didn't know what.
Cordelia fidgeted and squirmed and finally, out of some instinct she
couldn't control, put her hand in her mouth and bit down, hard.
She felt a gentle tug
as Angel reached across the table and pulled her wrist away. "Don't.
It won't help. Trust me, it won't." He looked around and, seeing the
menu, seemed to think of something. He turned over the laminated card and
pushed it towards her. "Cordelia, help me out here. What should I
order?"
She scowled at card,
too consumed by the craving to focus. "I don't know. Whatever you
want."
"I don't know
what I want. Choice at mealtimes-pretty much a novelty."
Cordelia blinked, and
made herself stare at the words on the menu until she could concentrate
enough to make sense of them. It took effort to think of anything other
than the overriding necessity of sating the hunger before it ate her up
from the inside out. But Angel was looking at her hopefully, and another
instinct-a better one-told her to act like she was in control. To pretend
as hard as she could that everything was okay. With effort, she said,
"McDonald's not big in eighteenth century Ireland, I guess."
"Not
really," said Angel. Cordelia realised that he was pretending too, and
she was grateful.
"What did you
eat?" she asked, genuinely curious.
"Potatoes
figured prominently."
Cordelia ran her
finger down the options listed. "You can have French fries. They're
potatoey. Maybe with the chicken wings and dip."
"Will I like
that?"
"Well, I do. And
you've got my taste buds, right?"
The waiter returned,
depositing a full glass of blood on the table in front of Cordelia. She
didn't wait-couldn't wait-for Angel to order before draining it. She gulped
it down as fast as she could swallow and oh God it was hot and rich and meaty
and satisfying and she wanted to drink and keep drinking and never stop-
And then it was all
gone, and she still wanted more.
"It's not
enough," she said.
"It's never
enough," said Angel quietly. "You just have to pretend it
is."
Cordelia looked hard
at the empty glass on the table in front of her, as if desire alone could
fill it again. With difficulty, she ignored the continuing, although
lessened, hunger and managed a small smile. "I don't know which is
more disturbing, the fact that I just drank a pint of blood or the fact
that I enjoyed it so much." Then she burped, and quickly covered her
mouth.
"Chicken wings
and a side of French fries," announced the waiter as he returned.
"That's for
him," said Cordelia, pointing at Angel.
The waiter didn't
even blink at the choice of pronoun; a couple of months serving in Caritas
was probably enough to eradicate anyone's capacity for incredulity.
"The boss says this is on the house. Enjoy your meal."
With practised speed,
he unloaded a selection of dishes on to the table: a plate of deep-fried
bread-crumbed chicken, a dish of light golden French fries still sizzling
faintly and, nestling between them, three differently coloured and textured
pots of dip. Angel looked at the selection of fare in front of him, and
appeared overwhelmed.
He looked like he
needed help. Cordelia plucked a single French fry from the side dish,
plunged it into the mustard-coloured dip and offered it to him. "Go
on. Eat."
He accepted it and
put it in his mouth. Chewed cautiously. Swallowed.
"Like it?"
Angel didn't reply.
His mouth was full again.
Cordelia looked on,
increasingly perturbed. "Uhh, okay. Angel, it's called dip because
you're meant to dip things in it. Hence the term, dip. Eating it by itself
is kinda gross."
"Mmmph,"
said Angel. He lifted a handful of French fries and ate them, eyes widening
in amazement. It was like watching a three year old discovering chocolate
cake for the first time.
"Now you're
getting grease on my face and it's not attractive," said Cordelia. She
handed him a napkin, and waited while he wiped around his mouth.
"Sorry."
"It's
okay," she told him, and found she meant it. "I mean, it's nice
to see you enjoy something for a change. But, just so we're clear here, if
my body gains one ounce while you're in there, that time you spent in hell
will feel like a cruise in the Caribbean compared to what I will do to
you."
"The sources
have been pumped, the room has been well and truly worked," announced
the Host, reappearing beside their booth. "And no news, in this
instance, is not good news."
"Nothing?"
asked Cordelia.
The Host sounded
genuinely sympathetic as he said, "I'm sorry, sweetcakes."
"Angel, what are
we gonna do now?"
Firmly, Angel said, "There's
no reason to worry yet. Wesley and Gunn might have found something. And we
still have most of the night."
"Yeah,"
said Cordelia. "Plenty of time, right?"
She got up and
started to slide out of the booth, pausing only to motion to Angel to hurry
up and finish the last piece of chicken. As she turned to leave, she almost
collided with the Host.
"You think
you've got problems," he said. "Maurice and Maura the crooning
cadavers are sitting over there right now waiting for me to advise them on their
love life. Just think about it: zombie sex." He shuddered.
"I'd really
prefer not to," said Cordelia.
The Host smiled and
tweaked the collar of the leather coat she wore, straightening it. As he
did so he leaned towards her and said, "You're gonna be okay,
honey." Then he cast a fast sideways glance towards Angel, who was
helping himself to the final French fries and the remains of the dip.
"But, word of advice? Lose the floral print. Does nothing for your
skin tone."
* * *
Doug dived through
the door of his apartment, locked it, put on the dead bolt and the chain;
took a deep, shaky breath.
They were on to him.
Kitchen, bottle of
vodka from the top cupboard, find a glass, one shot, neat, better make it
two, hands shaking, knock it back, grimace, oh God-
They were definitely
on to him.
He lifted the glass
and decided he couldn't afford to be drunk at a time like this. He poured
the contents of the tumbler down the sink and left the kitchen. Five steps
down the hall, he decided he needed to be a lot drunker than he was after
all, and went back. Armed with another double-or maybe triple-vodka, he
headed for the bedroom.
He didn't even know
who they were.
Were they cops? FBI, maybe?
Or even the CIA? He didn't think he'd done anything illegal but, hell,
there had to be laws against making this much money this easily. Maybe they
wanted to know how he did it; maybe they were going to take him away and
put him in some creepy government programme.
Maybe, he thought
suddenly, they had nothing to do with the government. Because the girl had
been just a girl, but the thing that had attacked him-
It'd had teeth.
He looked around and
saw he was in the bathroom; he didn't remember coming in but he was here
now, so he turned on the tap and stuck his head under it. He straightened
up, gasped, and looked at himself in the mirror. "Didn't your mother
ever tell you not to mess with the forces of darkness?" he asked his
reflection.
Actually no, she
hadn't.
She damn well should
have.
He went back to the
bedroom and opened the closet. He lifted down a bag and put it on the bed.
Then he started to pack, stuffing personal possessions and items of
clothing on top of each other in no particular order. He could be at the
airport in an hour; he'd never been outside the country and didn't have a
passport but, hell, did he need one? The east coast was plenty far away.
He'd buy a one-way ticket for NYC, or Miami, or somewhere else he'd never
been and they'd never find him.
The bag was almost
full. There was one more thing he had to pack.
Doug fetched the
scroll from where he had left it sitting beside the bottle of vodka on the
kitchen table. Carefully, almost reverently, he rolled it up and tucked it
into the bag. As long as he had the scroll, he would be all right. He'd be
able to start over somewhere else. He'd have everything he needed.
Not quite everything.
He wouldn't have
access to the database of the company he worked for, the one he'd been
using to select his clients from. He needed that too.
No reason why he
couldn't take it with him.
Doug thought rapidly.
His staff card gave him twenty four hour access to RestWell's offices. He
couldn't copy the entire database-it was huge-but with most of the night
and a supply of zip disks, he could replicate a significant chunk of it.
Enough to start him off, wherever he ended up.
He could still be
eating breakfast on a plane headed over the Rockies.
Doug thought for a
moment longer. Then he lifted the packed canvas bag containing the scroll,
his RestWell swipe card and the keys of his new Mercedes, and headed for
the door.
He didn't bother
locking it behind him; he wouldn't be back.
3: Vice Versa
"It doesn't make
sense," said Wesley.
Beside him, Gunn
checked the truck's mirrors and pulled away from Judith Forbes-Carson's
mansion. "You thinkin' of any particular part of this, or just the
whole damn barrel o'monkeys?"
Wesley frowned, trying
to order his thoughts. "This man, Doug whatever-his-name-is, is
obviously targeting these people. He isn't waiting for them to come to him:
he's cherry-picking likely candidates."
Gunn turned on to the
main street and accelerated. "Like some kind of insurance
salesman."
"Exactly. But he
can find people like Mrs Forbes-Carson **and** people like Trixie. Whatever
his sources of information are, they must be incredibly detailed and wide
ranging. That speaks of meticulous planning, yet he made Cordelia an offer
within minutes of meeting her. It's not consistent."
"You know what
else ain't consistent?" said Gunn. "The guy must raking in cash
like a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon, but he does the rituals at night
'cause of his day job. How does that figure?"
It didn't, and Wesley
was about to say so when his cell phone rang. He took it out and answered
it. "Hello?"
"Wesley, this is
Kate Lockley."
"Oh. Hello,
Kate."
"Can you
talk?"
The truck ran over a pothole
in the road, jarring Wesley's stitches. He winced. "Kate, I don't wish
to be impolite, but we're having a minor crisis just at the minute."
"I know: Angel
and Cordelia were here earlier. I think I've got some information for
you."
Wesley felt a sudden
surge of optimism. "That's marvellous."
"Yeah, well,
don't get too excited just yet-it's pretty thin. I called round a few
people. One of the guys said his precinct made a bust a couple of months
ago that sounded pretty much the same as the one you dropped in on, right
down to the stupid red cloaks."
"Did they make
any arrests? I mean, did the police get names or addresses?"
"No," said
Kate. "The cops were expecting to find drugs, and when they didn't
they let it drop. He thinks it was sometime around November, in Brentwood.
I've got the address."
"Oh," said
Wesley. Gunn was looking at him, raising an eyebrow questioningly. He shook
his head. "Well, thank you anyway. We do appreciate this."
"Sorry I
couldn't help more," said Kate, and to Wesley's surprise she sounded
genuinely apologetic.
"That's quite
all right," he told her. "Thank you."
He ended the call and
stared at the phone for a moment. "No joy, huh," said Gunn.
"I'm afraid not.
It appears our friend Doug was operating out of Brentwood just before
Christmas. But that hardly helps us now."
"Maybe it
does," said Gunn. At Wesley's look, he continued, "Look, we ain't
got a whole lotta time here. Let's start making a few leaps. Suppose our
guy started off working out of Brentwood, and moved when the cops paid a
visit."
Wesley nodded.
"Very well. That's reasonable."
"Now let's say
he hasn't been running this gig for very long, or he would have quit the
day job by now."
"Agreed."
"And he's no
planner, or he wouldn't have come on to Cordy so fast."
"But Judith and
Trixie's case seems to indicate the opposite," said Wesley, frowning.
"Yeah, but we
don't know how he found them-we do know for a fact how he acted tonight.
For all we know, he could be piggybacking on someone else's hard work. Now,
if we suppose all of that, where do we get?"
Wesley nodded as he
began to see the obvious conclusion. "We would have to infer that the
location in Brentwood was the first place he'd used, and that it was probably
somewhere convenient for him-close to his home or work."
Gunn snapped his
fingers. "You got it."
Wesley brought out
his phone again. "I'm going to call Kate back. We'll need the exact
address."
* * *
Cordelia was almost
back at the car when she noticed Angel wasn't with her.
She looked behind
her, and saw he had stopped walking. He was using one hand to lean against
a street lamp, and the other to hold his stomach. From his expression, he
seemed to be in some discomfort.
She hurried back to
him. "What's the matter?"
"I don't
know."
"Well, what do
you feel wrong with you? With me?"
He screwed up his
face, concentrating. "My stomach feels...I'm not sure how it
feels."
"Oh God. I knew
you were eating too fast. You're probably going to barf now."
He shook his head.
"It's not nausea." Suddenly Angel winced and closed his eyes.
"My head..."
An unwelcome
suspicion began to form in Cordelia's thoughts. "Does your brain feel
squashed? Like it's a couple of sizes too big for your skull?"
He looked up at her
with an expression of faint surprise which told her that, yes, that was
exactly what it felt like. Suspicion crystallised into certainty. "Oh
no. This is the last thing we need right now."
"What?"
asked Angel.
"Brace
yourself," said Cordelia, but she could tell it was already too late.
His eyes were glazing over, and he probably couldn't even hear her any more
because that was how it always was for her when she had a-
Vision.
He convulsed,
doubling in two then straightening as if there were wires attached to his
head and feet and some unseen force was tugging him around for amusement.
His head rocketed backwards, and Cordelia reached out to grab him before he
split her skull open on the metal street lamp. Before she really knew what
she was doing, she was holding him up and holding him tight, supporting his
weight and preventing him lashing out and injuring himself. She was
stronger than she'd expected, and it wasn't difficult.
And it was weird,
thought Cordelia, because of course she'd never seen herself in the throes
of a vision. But as she looked down at her own face, contorted and tight
with pain, it wasn't herself she saw there, or even Angel. It was Doyle.
When at last Angel
went limp in her arms, she kept holding on to him. "Big, deep
breaths," she said.
He inhaled, exhaled,
inhaled again.
"You okay?"
she asked.
"Yeah," he
said, although he didn't sound it.
"First time's
the killer," said Cordelia, with sympathy. "Well, actually
they're all pretty bad, but at least after the first one you know what to
expect. What did you get?"
He frowned, and she
knew he was struggling to make sense of the stream of images and sensations
the Powers had decided to mainline into his head. "I think...I think
it was an underground parking lot, somewhere around Pasadena. But no cars,
so not in use. Something's made its nest there; it's preying on people
using the roads nearby."
"So I guess this
goes on the to-do list."
He shook his head.
"It's more urgent than that. It's got people down there now. They
won't be alive this time tomorrow."
"Angel, in case
you hadn't noticed, we've got a situation of our own."
"Yes,
but..." He made an effort to stand up straight. "I felt it. They
were terrified, and I felt it. I can't...I can't explain it better than
that."
"It's okay. You
don't have to." She sighed. "It's like you're right there. And
you come out of it and you know you'd do just about anything to make it
okay."
He nodded.
"Cordelia?"
"Yes?"
"You can let go
of me now."
"Oh.
Right." She unhooked her arms from around him and stood back.
"Hey, Angel? When I go like that, do I remind you of...I mean, do you
think I look like Doyle did?"
Angel said nothing for
a moment. Then, at last: "Yes. You do." He rubbed the side of his
head and smiled weakly. "Except for being taller. And more female. And
a lot less Irish."
"And prettier.
Don't forget prettier."
"That was going
to be next."
Cordelia found she was
smiling now too. "Pasadena, huh. It's gonna take a while to get
there."
Angel dug into a
pocket and took out the car keys. He handed them to Cordelia. "Drive
fast."
* * *
"This is
it."
Gunn brought the
truck to a halt in front of the shell of an empty office block. Wesley
looked up and down the quiet street, which was lined in each direction as
far as he could see with similar, occupied, buildings. A sudden awareness
of the size of the task at hand made him check the time. Four hours left.
The same thought
appeared to have occurred to Gunn. "We're gonna need to get real lucky
here."
"Yes,"
agreed Wesley. He lifted his cane from the where it had fallen behind the
truck's seats. "We'll cover twice as much ground if we separate. I'll
go down the street and-" He put his hand on the door handle of the
passenger's side, and felt his eyes start to water at the sudden and
ferocious pain the movement provoked.
"Ten out of ten
for enthusiasm," said Gunn. "Big fat zero for practicality. You'd
better stay here."
Wesley, still trying
to catch his breath, nodded silently. He held his side and watched Gunn hop
out of the truck and start to walk purposefully down the street.
Alone, he took out
his cell phone and turned it over in his hands. He should call Cordelia, he
thought; although at the minute he didn't have anything to tell her except
that the odds that she would ever be herself again were rapidly
lengthening.
He was putting the
phone back in his pocket when the car pulled up on the opposite side of the
street.
Wesley stared at it.
Of course, he thought, there must be more than one bright red Mercedes in
Los Angeles. There were probably hundreds, if not thousands.
But right here? Right
now?
The car door opened
and a man got out. Wesley watched him pass a swipe card through the reader
next to the entrance of the building across the street and vanish inside.
With difficulty,
Wesley shuffled across the truck's front seat until he was behind the
wheel. He started the engine and made a wide U-turn in the empty road,
bringing the truck to a halt immediately behind the Mercedes. From here, he
could read the sign on the door of the office block. He was parked in front
of RestWell Life Assurance.
He picks likely
candidates then doorsteps them, he thought. Like some kind of insurance
salesman.
Exactly like an
insurance salesman.
The doors of the
office block opened again, and the man reappeared. He seemed too
preoccupied to pay much attention to the battered pick-up truck parked next
to him. He unlocked the Mercedes and got in.
Wesley looked up and
down the street, and saw no sign of Gunn returning. It was just him. He
moved to open the truck's door, and this time the sharp, hot agony he felt
was so intense his vision clouded ominously for several seconds. Even
supposing he could get out of the vehicle unaided, he realised, he might
not make it more than a couple of yards before he collapsed.
Perhaps he didn't
have to leave the truck.
The engine was still
running; Wesley revved it and took off the brake.
Through the truck's
windscreen, he saw the Mercedes' back taillights come on. It started to
move away.
Wesley pushed his
foot down on the accelerator as hard as he could, and braced himself.
There was a crunching
sound, and the truck jerked and bounced as it hit the back of the Mercedes.
Wesley gasped as the pain in his side grew swiftly to excruciating
proportions. He sincerely hoped he hadn't split the stitches again.
He clenched his teeth
together and took tiny, shallow breaths. The intensity of the pain was just
beginning to recede by the time the car's driver was knocking angrily on
the truck's window.
Wesley rolled it
down. "Good evening," he said in as normal a voice as he could
manage.
"What the hell
do you think you're doing? That car's three weeks old."
"And very nice
it is too. I do like the colour."
"Did you hear
me, buddy? You just smashed up my new car."
Reflected in the
truck's wing mirror, Wesley could see Gunn coming back, breaking into a
trot when it became obvious something was up. Wesley looked back at the
Mercedes driver and smiled pleasantly at him. "I'm sure you can afford
a new one, Doug."
The man's eyes
widened in fear. He backed away from the truck, then turned around, ready
to bolt.
"I don't think
so," said Gunn, catching him easily and pinning his arms behind his
back.
"That's
him," Wesley told him.
"I kinda guessed
that," said Gunn. He tightened his grip on Doug, then appeared to
notice the pick-up's nose rammed into the back of the Mercedes for the
first time. "Aw, man. Look what you did to my truck."
* * *
"It had dark
green skin," said Angel. "Patches of scales, webbing between the
claws, spiny ridge along its back. I'm thinking Eterluc demon."
"What's an
Eterluc demon like?"
"Big and
nasty."
"So glad I
asked," said Cordelia under her non-existent breath.
She brought the
convertible to a screeching halt outside the entrance to an underground car
park. The way in was blocked by a heavy barrier, and the sign hanging on it
read, 'Strictly No Entry: Essential Structural Maintenance In Progress.'
"This is
it." Angel got out of the car and looked around. He frowned.
"It's like I've been here before-except I haven't."
She nodded
sympathetically. "Yeah. Welcome to the déjà vu world of Cordelia
Chase."
He opened the car's
trunk and dug around for a moment, before producing a sharp-edged
short-handled dagger. Returning to the barrier, he peered into the tunnel's
murky depths. "You stay up here; it's safer. I'm going down
there."
Cordelia looked at
him. "To do what? Bitch the demon to death? Because, newsflash, that
body you're in does not come equipped for combat."
"Maybe I don't
have the strength, but I still know the techniques. Besides, you're in good
shape."
"I'm not in
demon-slaying shape," snapped Cordelia. "Even supposing by some
miracle you don't get me killed, you'll definitely ruin my nails." She
broke off as a blast of stale air gusted from somewhere deep inside the
tunnel, hitting her in the face. The scent it carried was sharp and sour,
acrid like vomit, and so thick she almost gagged. Although she had never
smelled it before, she knew exactly what it was. Terror.
Angel was looking at
her. She swallowed hard and said, "Those people down there..."
"I know."
He hesitated. Then: "We'll go down together."
Cordelia went to the convertible,
and chose an ornate and razor-edged knife from the selection of weapons in
the trunk. She had no idea what she was going to do with it, but holding it
made her feel marginally better. "And what are we gonna do when we get
down there?"
Angel ducked under
the barrier. "We'll figure something out on the way."
Cordelia sighed.
"And again I am overjoyed I enquired."
* * *
"So I pretty
much haven't thought about ol' Uncle Ernie in years when one day I get this
letter saying he's finally gone to the great big barroom in the sky, and
he's left me all his worldly possessions. Which was cool, I guess: he was
pretty much the only halfway interesting relation I had. Three weeks later,
this box arrives, and I'm real disappointed at first because it's just old
photos and dirty magazines. But I go through it 'cause I figure, maybe
there's a roll of cash at the bottom. And I find the scroll."
"The
scroll," repeated Wesley. A steady stream of cars passed by Gunn's
parked truck, the faster ones causing the cab to rock slightly. Inside,
Doug Kluggerman sat between Wesley and Gunn, and nodded. Once it had become
clear that they weren't letting him go without getting some answers, he had
been surprisingly willing to talk. In fact, it was proving difficult to
shut him up. There was a clear element of pride in Doug's voice as he
explained exactly how he'd started to moonlight in magic, and Wesley
suspected he was happy at last to have an audience to impress.
Wesley was feeling
somewhat less than impressed.
"Yeah. I
wouldn't have known what it was, except Ernie left a letter with it. Said
he won it from a shaman in a card game down in Borneo. The letter had a
whole list of instructions-how many people you needed, how to say the
words, everything. Right when I read it, I got this weird tingling feeling
in my spine. I knew this wasn't David Copperfield shit, y'know? It was the
real thing."
"So you decided
to make money out of it," said Wesley heavily.
Doug looked at him.
"Hell, yes. This is America. Land of the brave, home of interest free
credit."
"You used the
insurance company's database to choose potential clients, then sold the
idea to them. That's why you didn't quit the job after the extra money
started coming in." Wesley took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.
"And at no point did you stop to consider the kind of forces you were
playing with or the long term ramifications for the people who allowed
themselves to be taken in by this lunacy."
"They all seemed
pretty happy to me." Doug shrugged. "They wanted something, I
made it possible, they paid me. If anyone changed their mind later, I'm not
responsible. I'm a businessman. An entrepreneur."
"You're an
idiot," snapped Wesley.
"I don't see why
you're getting so worked up here."
Coldly, Wesley said,
"The young lady you spoke to earlier tonight happens to be a friend of
ours."
"And thanks to
you, she ain't exactly feeling herself right now," added Gunn.
"So you're going to help us help her."
"Oh, sure,"
said Doug, and appeared to relax somewhat. "Look, this has been an
unfortunate mix-up all round. So, just to show there're no hard feelings,
I'll do you a good discount. Fifteen per cent, straight off the top. How's
that?"
Gunn put a hand on
his shoulder and let it stay there. "How about a one hundred per cent
discount, or bits start coming straight off your top?"
"Guys,
guys," said Doug quickly. "Less with the threats here, huh? Let's
not forget you need me."
"Gunn,"
said Wesley, looking past Doug: "Mr Kluggerman is obviously going to
be less than helpful. Perhaps we should let him on his way."
Gunn looked at him.
"Huh?"
Wesley smiled and
nodded. "We'll just let Cordelia deal with him herself."
Gunn said nothing for
a moment. Then a slow grin spread across his features. "Yeah. I mean,
she's probably real mad. And a lot stronger now. She'll get a kick from
beating the crap out of him."
"What do you
mean, stronger?" said Doug.
Wesley didn't answer
him. To Gunn, he said, "She may not beat him up at all. She may just
decide she's hungry."
"Hungry?"
said Doug, his voice wavering slightly.
Gunn nodded and
patted his shoulder reassuringly. "I wouldn't worry too much. There
are worse ways to go than having your life's blood drained by a vampire.
Just not many."
"You're
bluffing," said Doug, with marginally more confidence. "There's
no such thing as vampires. They're just a myth."
"Of course they
are," said Wesley. "And you can't make people switch bodies just
by reading a few archaic words on a dusty page either."
There was a long
silence, during which Doug Kluggerman's face ran through a fascinating
range of variations on the theme of 'terrified'.
Wesley pulled out his
cell phone and offered it to him. "Now, what do you say we start
calling all those acolytes of yours?"
4: Point of View
"How many people
is it holding down here?"
"How should I
know?"
"Scent, Cordy.
Just inhale and concentrate."
Cordelia backed up
deeper into the alcove where she and Angel were hiding, finding it
surprisingly easy despite the necessity of folding away limbs which were
bulkier than she was used to. Vampires really did possess a natural talent
for lurking.
Some yards away, in
the cavernous interior of the main underground parking lot, she could hear
the dull roars of the demon as it patrolled the perimeter of its territory.
They hadn't caught sight of it yet, but Cordelia figured anything that
could make that kind of noise had to be very big and scary indeed.
Okay, trying not to
think about that.
She inhaled, and
tasted the air. "There are four people."
"You're
sure?"
She nodded. "One
Eternity, by Calvin Klein, one Eau D'Issey Miyake, one Tommy Girl
and-" She wrinkled her nose in disdain: "Something by Yves St
Laurent. I mean, who wears Yves St Laurent any more?"
To her surprise,
Angel actually smiled. "Not how I would have done it, but I'll take
your word. Are any of them injured?"
She couldn't smell
any blood, so..."No. Not so far, anyhow."
He thought about that
for a second. "Then the priority is to get them out safely."
"And how does
demon-slaying fit in with that?"
"It doesn't. We
get in and out and make sure it doesn't notice us."
"Liking that
plan a lot," agreed Cordelia. She looked around the corner of the
alcove and around the parking lot. "Looks clear."
"Then let's do
it."
She steeled herself
and slipped out of the alcove, Angel beside her. Moving quietly wasn't as
difficult as she had expected it to be: all she had to do was concentrate a
little harder on where she put her feet, how she spread this body's weight.
And hey, this stealth thing was actually kind of fun once you got into the
swing of it-
She saw something
move in the shadows ahead, and stopped dead. Angel, lacking her night
vision, bumped into her. "What is it?"
There were four human
figures, struggling against bindings, writhing in fear and confusion. The
stench of fear was almost overpowering. "I see them. It's got them
roped together."
"That isn't
rope. Eterlucs secrete a kind of mucus that solidifies..."
"Too much
detail," interrupted Cordelia quickly. She held up her dagger:
"Let's just do this and get out of here."
Angel pulled out his
own knife and started to move forward. Cordelia was about to follow him
when she felt it.
Vibrations, ringing
through the concrete floor and the soles of her boots and shaking her body
to the core. The thud, thud, thud of something approaching.
And the thuds were
getting closer as it picked up speed.
Angel was cutting at
the gloopy, fibrous strands encasing the demon's victims. Without a
vampire's heightened senses, he hadn't yet realised the demon was coming
back for its meal.
She had to do
something. But, oh God, what? She just needed a couple of seconds to think-
Too late. Cordelia
turned and the demon was in front of her. Angel had been entirely accurate
regarding the Eterluc's green skin and the spines. He had neglected to
mention its savage claws, or the razor sharp teeth and strings of foul
mucus hanging from them like obscene Christmas decorations.
**Play for time,
Cordy.**
Brightly, she said,
"Hi there. I can see you're annoyed but, you know, violence is not the
only way to resolve conflict. What do you say we sit down and talk this
through like adults?"
The demon roared at
her. Its breath carried the fetid stink of decay and she had to fight not
to retch. Still, if bad breath was the worst it could do, maybe she had a
chance of getting out of this alive. Or not more dead, anyway.
Then the Eterluc hit
her, and she flew backwards, straight into a pillar.
She heard Angel call
her name urgently as she gasped and slid on to the floor. She felt-well,
she felt like she'd just slammed into a concrete block at high speed, but
she wasn't unconscious. And she didn't hurt nearly as much as she knew she
should.
She stood up, swayed,
but remained on her feet. "I'm okay."
"Get out of
here!" yelled Angel. "Run!"
God, that was a
tempting strategy. But even as he said it, Cordelia knew she had to stand
her ground. The demon's attack was focused entirely on her, and if she
could keep it occupied for long enough, Angel might just be able to free
its victims. If she ran, they would die. And so would Angel, because now
the only way out was past the Eterluc.
She picked up a loose
chunk of masonry and threw it at the demon. The block clipped it on the
shoulder. "Hey! Did anyone ever tell you you've got a serious
halitosis problem?"
The Eterluc glared at
her, and tipped its head to one side. She wondered if it understood
English.
"That's right,
stinky breath! I'm talking to you!"
The demon roared, and
charged.
"Cordy, fighting
stance!" yelled Angel.
She didn't even know
what that meant, exactly, but her feet shifted and her arms raised to the
level of her chest almost of their own accord. Then she understood: he had
practised these actions so often and for so long that they had become
patterns this body was familiar with, movements it was ready to make at the
slightest trigger.
"Cool,"
said Cordelia: "Reflexes."
"Crescent
kick!"
She kicked, and the
demon stumbled.
"Left
roundhouse!"
She kicked again, and
it fell.
This was going pretty
well, considering-
The Eterluc bounced
to its feet, and she realised with a sick, sinking feeling that she hadn't
even bruised it.
"Cordy, feint
right! Now!"
She ducked to her
right, narrowly avoiding the swipe of the demon's claws. Fine so far, but
she was beginning to tire, and she didn't know how much longer she could
keep this up.
She got her answer
seconds later, when she moved an instant too late to deflect one of the
Eterluc's attacks. She felt something rip in her shoulder, and pain shot
through her left side. The demon loomed over her, ready to make the killing
blow.
Then something in her
changed.
It happened by
instinct, not choice. A red mist descended just behind her eyes and for a
second she revelled in the pure, sweet thrill of violence. For the first
time since she'd been Angel, Cordelia felt at one with this body, in tune
with its needs and desires. In harmony with the vampire.
"You picked the
wrong girl to mess with," she told the demon, and growled. It felt
good.
She rolled out from
under it, ignoring the pain in her arm and shoulder as she jumped with
precision to her feet. She was behind the demon now, and had the advantage.
It began to turn, but its size was now working against it, and it couldn't
move quickly enough.
She was distantly
aware that Angel was still shouting, but she wasn't listening any more. She
didn't need to.
Cordelia had a few
moves of her own.
And now she was back
on the field at Sunnydale High, cheerleading for the Razorbacks in the
championship finals, spinning and punching and kicking her way through the
routine she'd been practising for at least a couple of hours after school
every day for months. The moves were easy and familiar, and it wasn't difficult
to alter them ever so slightly to make the blows connect.
The demon staggered,
off-balance. Cordelia kicked, pirouetted, kicked again from another angle,
again from another, and again and again-
The demon thudded to
the ground.
She reached down and
retrieved her knife from where she had dropped it on the floor. With an
easy, brutal motion, she rammed it into the soft hollow of flesh just below
the lowest of its spines.
The Eterluc howled,
and died.
She'd killed it.
She looked at the knife
in her hands. It was stained with something that was deep purple in colour
and stank of tar and salt and other things she couldn't name.
She'd **killed** it.
"Here. Let me
take that."
She started as Angel relieved
her of the bloodied dagger; she hadn't heard or smelled him approaching.
She looked up to see how far along he was in freeing the demon's intended
meals, and saw with surprise that they had gone, leaving only a mound of
sticky grey fibres heaped in the corner.
She wondered how long
she'd been standing staring at the Eterluc's body.
"I killed
it," she said numbly.
Angel put one hand on
her uninjured arm and one on her other shoulder, and turned her around. She
let him move her until she didn't have to look at the dead thing on the
floor any more.
"I killed
it," she repeated, "and I never killed anything before-I mean,
I've staked a couple of vampires but they just go poof so you don't have to
deal with it but now there's a body and I think, I think-I think I might
have enjoyed it."
"It's
okay," said Angel. "It's over now; it's all right."
And then,
unexpectedly, he pulled her towards him and held her. She was cold, chilled
all the way through, and she wasn't prepared for how comfortingly,
intoxicatingly **real** the warmth of a living touch was. She wanted to
stay like this, just being held, until she absorbed as much of that heat as
she could. Maybe then she'd feel alive.
A sudden unnerving
thought struck her and, raising a hand, she ran her fingertips over her
face.
"Angel? How do
I, uhhh, stop doing this?"
For a moment he
didn't reply, and she wondered if perhaps he didn't know himself. Then,
just as she was verging on panic, he said, "Close your eyes."
She closed them.
"Imagine a box.
A big, solid box, with a heavy lid and a lock."
She could see it: an
old-fashioned chest, made out of oak, held together by iron nails.
"Okay."
Softly, he went on,
"Imagine yourself, taking off this face and everything that goes with
it. Putting it in the box. Shutting the lid. Walking away."
She pictured it, step
by step. And when she opened her eyes again she didn't need to feel her
forehead to know that the thing that had relished the kill was safely
locked away. Not gone, but under control. For now.
She looked at Angel
curiously. "Is that what you do?"
"Sometimes. If
nothing else works." He touched her arm: "Are you badly
hurt?"
"I'll
live," responded Cordelia automatically. Then it struck her what a
stupid thing that was to say under the circumstances. This body didn't
live; that was the point. It would simply repair itself, skin and tissue
knitting together unscarred and with impossible speed, ready for the next
round of abuse. This body stayed perfect and never aged a day, but was
perpetually cold and needy and leaden. This body didn't express the spirit
within so much as hold it prisoner.
She didn't think she
could stand feeling this way a second longer.
"How do you
exist like this?" she asked Angel. "I mean, how do you keep from
going crazy?"
"Actually, I
have gone crazy. More than once." He gave a small, rueful smile.
"Turns out sanity's a hard habit to break."
She looked at him.
"Is that what the last few months have been about? You stepping out of
the Reason Room for a quick cigarette?"
The smile vanished.
"No. Although maybe it would make more sense that way."
Cordelia shook her
head. "I don't understand you, Angel. And now I am you and I still
don't understand you."
"If it makes you
feel better, for the past couple of months I haven't really understood
myself."
"Well,
try," she instructed him. "The world and Cordelia Chase want to
know."
Angel hesitated. At
last he said, "I wanted...I needed to save her. And when I couldn't,
it felt like nothing else I'd ever done or ever could do was worth a
damn."
Cordelia shook her
head. "What makes Darla so important?"
"Because she
made me," said Angel simply. "The bond matters. You can't
understand unless you're a vampire."
"In the first
place," she told him firmly, "right now I **am** a vampire and
that argument still looks shaky from this side of the fangs. And in the
second place-what about the other bonds I thought you had? The ones with
Wesley, and Gunn, and me? When did they stop mattering?"
Angel said,
"They didn't. I had to learn that the hard way." He shook his
head tiredly. "Darla owns a piece of me, Cordelia. That's how it is
with us. It makes her stronger and me weaker."
"But you killed
her once already," pointed out Cordelia.
"Yes," said
Angel, "and at first I couldn't figure out why it was so much easier
then. I thought the only way to be stronger than her was to get back to
where I was the first time I staked her. To put aside everything that's
made me different since."
And suddenly it did
make a weird kind of sense, thought Cordelia. Because that was just the way
she was used to Angel-pig-headed, noble, self-sacrificing, stupid
Angel-seeing things. Here, at last, was the Angel she remembered.
"And that
included us," she said. She sighed. "Didn't work, did it."
"No," he
admitted quietly. "I got to exactly where I wanted to be and found out
I didn't want to be there. I wasn't strong; I was just empty. Brittle.
You're the only real strength I've got. That's what I found out when I
slept with Darla."
Cordelia stared at
him. Mentally re-wound that last part. Re-played it in her head.
No, she hadn't
imagined it.
"You. And Darla.
Had sex."
He nodded.
"Ewww,"
said Cordelia. She took a step backwards, breaking contact with him, and
started brushing herself down. "Ewww! Oh, ewww, yecchhh! Angel, how
could you?"
"Not one of my
better decisions, I admit."
But Cordelia wasn't
listening. "I don't believe this! This body has done it with Darla!
Jeez, Angel, you don't have sex for years and then you have to go and prang
Darla right before I get here?"
He was staring at her
now with an odd expression. The side of his mouth twitched upwards, very
slightly.
"I'm gonna
shower," said Cordelia. "Then I'm gonna shower again. In fact, I
might just stay in the shower forever and I can do that because, guess
what, immortal now-" She broke off.
Angel was laughing.
It was her
laugh-throaty, hoarse, kind of snorty around the edges-coming out of her
mouth, but there was no doubt that it was Angel doing the laughing. She
glowered at him, just about ready to explode because this was so not funny
and of all the moments he had to choose to rediscover his sense of humour-
Then it struck her that
maybe it was kind of funny, after all.
"The look on
your face," said Angel. He was gasping for breath. "My face. You
look so disgusted."
Cordelia started
laughing too.
And that was strange,
because she'd never heard Angel laugh, not properly, and she wasn't sure
what to expect. But it sounded good and once she got used to the idea that
she had to remember to stop and inhale occasionally, it felt pretty good
too.
She laughed until she
couldn't stand up straight any more, and when the fit finally passed, she
was sitting on the cold floor beside Angel, leaning shoulder-to-shoulder
against him.
She twisted around to
face him, and saw he had managed to turn her face an interesting shade of
red. "Breathing while laughing," he said at last: "Is there
a technique to that?"
Cordelia shrugged.
"I don't think so. It's a design flaw."
"We should
go," said Angel. He stood up and offered her his hand. It felt no less
strange than before when she took it, but at least this time she was a
little more prepared.
She allowed him to
help her as they made their way back up the parking lot's entrance tunnel.
Through her shirt and the leather jacket she wore, Cordelia could feel the
faint but definite press of Angel breathing in and out, as well as the warmth
his living flesh threw out and the steady beat of his heart. Strange to
walk next to him and know the body she inhabited wasn't doing any of those
things. Strange and lonely.
They were almost
outside when Angel said, "Thank you."
"Yeah, well, it
was kinda fun. I might just have invented a new sport: combat
cheerleading."
"Not the fight.
Just now. I haven't laughed since..." He stopped. "I'm not sure
I've ever really laughed."
"I don't think
that wry chuckle thing you do counts." She frowned. "So you slept
with Darla and you're not, you know, evil?"
"No."
"Weird."
"Not really. It
was about as far from perfect happiness as it's possible to get."
"Oh."
Angel said,
"Cordelia, I'm..."
"Don't,"
she interrupted him. "Don't say it. We're...we're okay here. I mean,
right here, right now, you and me are okay. Don't go and spoil it by doing
something stupid like apologising."
He looked at her out
of her own eyes, and she could tell he didn't understand.
"I know you're
sorry now, Angel. That's your whole problem. You're always sorry
afterwards. The point is, it's too late by then. The cars are piled up, the
ambulances are arriving and the cops are stringing yellow hazard tape
around the scene."
She'd meant to yell
at him, to let out the anger which had been building for so long. But
somehow when she opened her mouth the vitriol drained away, and she heard
herself using his voice to speak gently and without rancour.
"I can't change
what I am," said Angel quietly.
"Pffft,"
said Cordelia. "This has nothing to do with being a vampire or cursed
or whatever. It's about you and your stupid obsessive-compulsive
tendencies. You not being able to let go of things. You not being able to
move on. And that's just-that's just you." She sighed. "I'm still
mad, you know. And I haven't forgiven you. You, Mister, are not even ten
per cent forgiven."
"I know."
"But I'm giving
you another chance. That's a pretty big deal."
There was a second's silence.
Finally Angel said, "I appreciate that."
They had reached the
mouth of the parking lot's entrance tunnel and the entrance barrier.
Cordelia pointed to the convertible which she could see perfectly in the
darkness and Angel couldn't, then leaned on him as he helped her the final
distance to the car.
She was leaning on
the hood when the cell phone in her coat pocket rang shrilly. She hunted it
out and answered it. "Hello?"
"Cordelia?"
Wesley sounded agitated. "I've been trying to contact you for the past
hour. Why hasn't your phone been turned on?"
She started to tell
him it had been on, then realised what had happened. "Oh. I was in an
underground parking lot. No signal."
"Is Angel there?
Where are you?"
"Yeah, he's
here. We're in Pasadena."
"What the hell
are you doing in Pasadena?"
Wesley was swearing?
Cordelia blinked, nonplussed. "Well, Angel had a vision and-long story
short, it was the usual 'big nasty demon innocents in mortal danger'
scenario. Hey, Wesley, I got to fight and I totally whipped demon-guy into
next week. How cool is that?"
"Cordelia, just
be quiet and listen to me."
There was a
forcefulness in his manner Cordelia had only rarely heard, and she shut up.
Angel was looking at her, frowning. The volume on the phone was
sufficiently high, she guessed, for him to pick up Wesley's tone, if not
his words.
Wesley said,
"I'm with Gunn. We've rounded up all the original participants, as
well as the materials needed for the ritual. We're ready to start."
"Wesley, that's
great news-"
"And we're back
at the warehouse at the airport."
"No problem. The
car's here, we'll leave now."
"Cordelia!"
said Wesley: "You've only got **twenty** minutes."
Suddenly, she felt
cold. Colder. She looked at Angel's watch, as if there was even the
slimmest chance that Wesley was wrong. As if.
It was 06.11. At half
past six, twelve hours would have passed since they had disrupted the
ritual.
There was no way she
and Angel could make it across the city in fifteen minutes. Not even the
remotest chance.
She looked at Angel,
and saw he knew it too.
"We're
screwed," she said.
* * *
"What the hell
are they doing in Pasadena?" asked Gunn.
"That's exactly
what I said." Wesley switched off his cell-phone and stared at it, as
if by sheer force of will he could make the liquid crystal clock in the
corner of the screen stop. When that didn't work, he looked around the
assorted group of part-time acolytes, who were shrugging on their robes and
chatting with each other as if this was just another kind of social
gathering, a Tupperware party with entrails. To them, he supposed, it was.
"They can't get here in time," he said. "There's no
way."
Gunn ran one hand
over his shaved scalp. "Okay. Say they're a little late. Is that such
a big deal?"
"They could be a
little late or a lot late, it doesn't matter now. Half a second longer than
twelve hours and that's it. The change is permanent." Wesley shut his
eyes. "Oh God. Poor Cordelia..."
Gunn wasn't ready to
give up. "Let's do the ritual anyway. Maybe it'll work even if they're
not here."
"With
translocation magic, the subjects have to be physically present. Otherwise
it won't..." He trailed off, as a fragment of half-remembered text
flitted into his thoughts. "Wait. That's not strictly true. Perhaps if
we had some kind of talisman from each of them: a personal item, a lock of
hair-"
Gunn was shaking his head,
and Wesley felt his momentary hope crumble again. "Man, I like Cordy
and all, but I don't carry bits of her around with me."
Wesley sighed.
"Well, it was an idea." He looked at his watch again, gaze drawn
to it with horrible fascination. Ten minutes left.
An electronic
rendition of Yankee Doodle Dandy rang out, its tinny cheeriness clashing
with Wesley's despair. He looked up, annoyed, and saw one of the acolytes
talking into his cell phone.
"No, I can't
talk. Sweetie, it's kind of awkward right now. Marlene, that's not true. I
did tell you. Honey-"
Wesley stared at the
man's phone, then at his own. He had an idea.
He limped across the
warehouse and snatched the acolyte's phone away from him.
"Hey! That's my
phone! What are you-"
"Hello
Marlene," said Wesley. "This is just to let you know that your
husband or boyfriend is an underachieving, self-deluding fool who spends
his free time dabbling in the occult. If I were you I'd take the car and
your jewellery and make sure you're long gone by the time he gets home.
Goodbye."
He ended the call and
went back to where Gunn stood, looking confused.
"Granted, the
guy was irritating, but is that gonna achieve anything?"
"It might,"
said Wesley. He tossed the acolyte's phone to Gunn. "Call
Cordelia," he instructed, while paging through the numbers in his own
phone's address book until he found Angel's.
"What am I gonna
say?" asked Gunn. "Aside from, sorry to hear your bad news?"
"Just listen. I
won't have time to explain twice."
Angel answered his
cell phone almost immediately. In Cordelia's voice, he said,
"Wesley?" Another phone rang in the background.
"Tell Cordelia
to answer that. It's Gunn."
"Right."
The ringing stopped. Wesley
nodded to himself. "I have an idea. I'm not sure it'll work, but it's
about the only thing we can do."
"We're
listening."
"You can't get
here in time; there's no point trying. I'm going to perform the magic
anyway."
"But if we're
not there-"
"You will
be," said Wesley. "In a manner of speaking. Now, you need to be
in physical contact with each other, so hold hands. Don't put the phones
down."
There was a short
pause, followed by, "We're ready."
"Very well.
Remember, whatever happens: do not break the contact."
"Right."
Wesley held the phone
away from himself for a moment, and raised his voice over the hum of
conversation. "Places! Now!" He glared at Doug Kluggerman, who
was kicking his heels at the edge of the group. "You. Get over here.
Bring the litany with you."
The ritualists fell
into their allotted positions in the circle, and Wesley took the sheaf of
dusty pages from Doug as soon as he was within reach. He glanced at the
first sheet for less than a second before flipping past it to the next
part. "Flesh of flesh, mind of mind, soul of soul," he began.
"Hey!"
interrupted Doug. "You've missed out the whole intro! What happened to
spirits of other places, we call on thee?"
"It's just
padding for atmosphere. We can lose it," said Wesley tersely. He
glanced at his watch, and guessed he had eight minutes to cast the spell,
with no room for delays. Damn, he'd have to cut out whole swathes from the
middle section. He was going to have to think fast, edit the litany as he went
along, pray he didn't leave out something crucial-
"But that's the
best bit," complained Doug. "I love that bit. You're butchering
it."
"Gunn,"
said Wesley.
The cracking noise
and the sudden gasp from Doug which followed told Wesley exactly what
happened next without the need to look up from the ritual. "Thank you,
Gunn."
"Always a
pleasure."
Wesley checked his
watch again. Seven minutes.
He took deep breath,
and began to read.
* * *
Cordelia stood facing
Angel, her cool hand interlocking with his warm one, fingers interlaced.
With her other hand she held the cell phone to her ear. From the other side
of LA Wesley's electronically filtered voice-bounced around through God
knew how many transmitters and satellites-raced through the spell's litany
at comical speed.
"This isn't
gonna work, is it?" she said.
"It's going to
work," said Angel.
He didn't believe it.
Cordelia didn't know where that certainty came from-a scent-trace of
anxiety of which she wasn't consciously aware, or some instinctive
knowledge of the shape and set of her own face-but she was sure of it all
the same. It felt odd to be able to read him so clearly now, having spent
so long in recent months trying to guess what might be going on behind
impassive features and distant eyes.
On the other end of
the phone, Wesley recited, "Let these spirits leap unfettered from
their vessels," firing out the words so fast that they bled into each
other.
"It's okay to
say it," she said.
Angel paused. Finally
he admitted, "If it works, I'm pretty sure it'll be a first."
"And return
these wayward spirits to their own true homes," said Wesley: "as
it was let it now be again, so let it be."
The sudden silence on
the other end of the line was unsettling. Speaking into the phone, Cordelia
said, "Wesley? Why have you stopped?"
"Because that's
it. It's finished. You're not...?"
She shut her eyes.
"No."
With determined hopefulness,
Wesley asked, "You're sure?"
"If it had
worked, I think we would have noticed."
"I
suppose," said Wesley reluctantly. Then, quietly, and with palpable
disappointment: "Damn it."
"Thanks for
trying."
"This isn't over
yet," said Wesley, attempting reassurance and falling well short.
"Come back to the office. We have to decide what to do next."
"Yeah."
She turned off the
phone and pocketed it, then disentangled her fingers from Angel's.
"Y'know, I didn't think it'd happen like this."
He looked at her,
puzzled. "What would happen like this?"
Cordelia shrugged.
"The prophecy. The Shanshu thing. The whole 'vampire with a soul
becomes human' deal. Because here you are, alive. The Powers That Be must
have a real screwball sense of humour."
Angel said,
"I've never wanted it less."
"It's
okay," she told him softly.
"It isn't,"
he told her. "You were right. I should have stayed away."
She shook her head.
"No, I was wrong. Because if we hadn't come here when you had the
vision, those people would have been killed by the time we got ourselves
straightened out. So we did the right thing. Even if it means being stuck
like this for good, it was still the right thing. And that's what you and
me are about, right? Before Wesley arrived and before Gunn came along,
there was us. Me with the visions and you with the fangs." She
stopped. "Or vice versa."
Angel said nothing.
He nodded.
She looked at him.
"Okay. Now I can't tell what you're thinking, and it's weird."
"I'm
thinking...we've both come a long way from where we started."
"I guess we
have," she said.
The matte blackness
of the sky overhead was lightening, replaced by a hazy greyness spreading
from the east. "It'll be day soon. Cordelia..." Angel nodded in
the direction of the car.
Time to be brave,
thought Cordelia. Focus on getting through the next five minutes; the next
hour. Just that long. Don't think about the rest of today or tomorrow or,
oh God, the next hundred years. Most of all, don't think about being this
alone forever.
Would she have to be
alone?
She opened the car
door and got into the passenger side. "Hey, Angel? Promise you'll
stick around and, you know, help me deal?"
"I won't leave
again."
"Good," she
said, relieved. "And I can give you the lowdown on living. That body
you've got now needs looking after. It's top of the range: low mileage and
one careful owner; the visions come free." The eastern horizon was
more than grey now: it was bright. She couldn't look at it any more, so she
raised a hand to shield her eyes. "Angel, can we please go now? It's
getting really light out here and I don't like it."
"You've got the
car keys," said Angel.
Of course she did;
she'd driven here. Cordelia started to feel in the pockets of her leather
coat, but her arm hurt and the growing light bothered her and there was a
weird pounding in her ears that hadn't been there a second earlier.
She froze.
PaPump. PaPump.
PaPump.
Her heart was
beating.
She looked down, and
saw she was digging around for the car keys in the empty pockets of her
pants. She pulled out her hands and held them up in the faint light that no
longer disturbed her. They were grubby, slim-fingered and delicate. A
woman's hands. Her hands.
And yes, her manicure
was ruined.
"Angel?"
she said, and heard the words emerge in her own voice.
He looked at her from
the passenger seat of the car, where she had been moments before.
Cordelia put her
hands to her chest and pressed hard, feeling a growing sense of wonder as
the touch confirmed the thud of life inside her. "Ohmigod.
Angel?"
"Apparently."
"What-? I mean,
when-?
"Just now."
She shook her head,
amazed. "I didn't even-"
"Neither did
I."
For a moment, they
stood in silence. Then Cordelia lifted a hand and punched the air
exuberantly. "Way to go, Wesley! You rock! You rock the house, the
garage and most of the garden too!"
She spun around,
hopping on the spot until she was literally dancing for joy. "Hello
toes, hello ankles and calves and knees, hi there stomach, missed ya, how
ya been fingers and hands and arms and, oh look, breasts-"
"Cordelia,"
said Angel. He pointed at the horizon. "Small issue of sunrise?"
She caught herself
and looked up, giggling. "Oh, yeah. I'll get properly reacquainted
later." She hopped into the car and took the keys from him.
"Let's go share the good news."
* * *
"I'd like to say
I had no doubt that the spell would work..." began Wesley.
"Liar,"
interrupted Cordelia equably.
He smiled and held up
a hand to show he hadn't finished: "I'd like to say that, but I really
can't. We were extremely lucky."
"The Angel
Investigations improvisation school of crisis management triumphs
again," she agreed, dipping her spoon deep into the ice cream sundae
she was attacking with gusto. Normally anything containing this high a
concentration of chocolate chips, marshmallow pieces, nuts and hot fudge
sauce would have been firmly on the forbidden list, but today Cordelia
didn't care. Calories and fat content be damned; she could taste it all,
and it was divine.
Wesley said, "In
retrospect, I should have realised that the magic might not work
immediately. It didn't the first time." He frowned, and sipped his
tea, looking out at the outdoor café's other tables without, Cordelia could
tell, really seeing them.
"Wesley, what is
it?"
He shrugged.
"It's probably nothing to worry about. It's just..." He
hesitated: "The first spell Mr Kluggerman cast created a magical
backwash that affected you and Angel later. I'm wondering if that was due
to an error on his part, or whether it's inherent in the ritual he was
using."
The last spoonful of
ice cream and fudge sauce hovered in the air in front of Cordelia's mouth,
dripping slowly. "You mean, I could be walking around later today and
suddenly, boom, I'm Angel again?"
"Oh, no, not at
all," said Wesley quickly. "I'm quite sure that won't
happen." He reached out and patted her hand, the one she had been
using to steady the sundae while she ate. The cold glass had chilled her
skin, and for a moment she felt his warm touch on her frigid flesh, and
remembered.
Quietly she said,
"It's not fun. Being him, I mean. There's a lot of stuff he has to deal
with he never talks about."
"Yes. I imagine
there is." Wesley looked at her sternly. "None of which excuses
his recent behaviour."
Cordelia nodded.
"I know. But it makes it a little bit more understandable."
"Well,
perhaps," said Wesley. He didn't sound convinced.
She dug into the
depths of the near-empty ice-cream sundae, retrieving the last gooey
spoonful of fudge sauce. Then, pushing the dish to one side, she began to
study the laminated menu. "Hey, Wesley, how about pancakes and
syrup?"
"I'm quite full,
thank you."
"Not for you,
for me." She turned the card over. "Oooh, pastries! Do y'think
they have the ones with the cinnamon swirls and the icing?"
The sun shone in the
L.A. sky above them, and Cordelia decided it was good to be alive.
* * *
Life sucked, thought
Doug.
He had woken up in an
empty warehouse to find his acolytes gone, along with the limping English
guy and his thuggish friend. What was worse, they'd taken the only written
copy of the spell's litany with them. Doug cursed himself for not having
the foresight to make a copy.
By the time he'd
gotten home and washed and changed, he'd been late for work, and now the
supervisor, Mrs Makiewitz, was eyeing him with suspicion, if not outright
hostility. He didn't think she'd believed him when he told her he'd
sustained the black eye while re-papering his hall.
It was over, he
realised morosely. The best six months of his life had come to a sudden and
undignified end. No more extra money for cars and vacations. No more
mastering the dark powers of the occult. No more being treated with respect
and awe by his very own acolytes. Now he was just dull Doug Kluggerman,
stuck in a crappy dead end job, forced to spend all day every day talking
to other crappy dead end people who didn't want what he had to try to sell
them.
"Doug,"
snapped Mrs Makiewitz from her station: "Your line's idle but you're
not on a scheduled break. What's wrong with this picture?"
He sighed and
adjusted his headphones and speaker set, then clicked his PC's mouse,
instructing the machine to dial the next random number from the company's
database. The details flashed up on the screen: Bekki Styles, age 23,
unmarried, four kids. Trailer trash, thought Doug. She probably didn't even
know what insurance was. Maybe she'd be out.
She wasn't. The phone
line clicked, and a woman's voice answered, young but already hoarse from
too much booze and too many cigarettes. "Yeah?"
"Good afternoon,
Ms Styles. I'm calling on behalf of RestWell Life Assurance."
In the background,
children screamed. "Whaddya want?"
"Ms Styles, I
want to make your life anxiety free. Do you ever worry about what your
dependants would do if something happened to you, Ms Styles?"
"Who's this? You
threatenin' me?"
Doug gritted his
teeth and continued, "No, Ms Styles. I'm calling from RestWell Life
Assurance-"
"Don't need
none."
Doug felt himself
starting to get angry. Breaking from the cold-call script he was supposed
to follow, he said, "Yes you do. Everyone needs insurance."
"Look, I
got-Savannah! Don't do that to LaToyah!-I got kids here, whatever you're
selling, I don't want it."
Something in Doug
snapped. "And what happens if you're knocked down by a bus tomorrow?
Or get some really horrible disease? You know, you're exactly the kind of
person who turns up horribly disfigured on Ricki Lake and talks about how
the world's screwed them over, when really you were just too stupid to
think more than two seconds in advance and frankly I hope you get lung cancer
or cirrhosis of the liver and die soon."
Doug stopped.
Something wasn't right.
His voice, for a
start. It was too high pitched.
And he was standing
up.
And where had the
call centre gone?
"Ma," said
a child's voice from somewhere around his knees.
He looked down and
saw a three year old whose mouth was smeared with jam tugging at the hem of
his-at the hem of his-oh God at the hem of his-
Skirt?
"Hello?" he
said into the telephone. The line was dead.
"Ma!" said
the kid, more urgently. "Ma, I done peepee."
Doug looked down and
saw a rapidly expanding pool of liquid spreading out from around the
toddler's bare feet on to the filthy linoleum.
A second child-a
girl-was standing in the doorway of the tiny kitchen, pointing and
giggling. "Ma, Donny done pee."
"Ma!" said
Donny, pulling at Doug's clothes.
"Ma!" said
the girl.
"Ma!"
"Ma!"
And Doug knew his
problems had just started.
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