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THE ADDICTION
by Yseult deBreton
RATING: R (contains references to m/m sexual situations,
torture, nonconsensual sex)
TIMELINE: The torture scenes during "In the
Dark" (Angel 1.3)
PAIRING: Angel/Spike
SUMMARY: "It’s called addiction, Angel. We all have
them."
AUTHOR’S NOTES (1): This was written for the Second Flash Fic-a-thon, specifically for rubywisp. Thanks to
Circe_Tigana for the on-the-fly beta.
AUTHOR’S NOTES (2): Original dialogue from the show is
used. It's in italics and was written by Douglas Petrie.
DATE OF COMPLETION: 10 June 2003
DISTRIBUTION: Second Flash Fic-a-thon, Yseult’s Passion (http://yseultspassion.com),
and my permission.
DISCLAIMER: You know the drill.
FEEDBACK: This is my first true slash fic, so yes,
feedback would be nice if only to say "Yseult, never write slash
again." You can send it to yseultdb@yahoo.com.
Angel hangs like a slab of meat awaiting the butcher’s masterful
handiwork. This butcher is a craftsman, perhaps even an artist. Marcus’
tortured creations are rumored to be sinfully beautiful and exquisitely
painful. He has a trunk of agony-inducing tools and a reputation as an
expert in the painful extraction of information. Spike relishes the
anticipation of Angel’s broken screams. Earlier he had perused Marcus'
collection of implements. Two questions had immediately arisen. First,
could Marcus be as creative as Angelus, a true master of torture? Second,
would the torment end once the Gem’s location was revealed? The answer to
the first question was "Possibly." Marcus did not like to boast.
The answer to the second question was what sealed Spike’s decision to hire
the inquisitor: "At your discretion."
*****
Marcus: His skin. Over two hundred years of living and so little
external damage.
Marcus rips open Angel’s shirt. Angel’s body is magnificent. It has
form, definition, structure, beauty, and strength. It inspires desire and
possession in males and females, humans and demons. It has sheltered Spike
from Darla’s shrewish vindictiveness. It has also inflicted its unique
brand of misery. One sweet night, in France, it was Angel’s body that
introduced him to the carnality of sex. Spike had cried from sheer ecstasy.
The next night he cried again as Angel brutally demonstrated the bestial
aspects of vampire families. In Spike’s dreams, heaven is Angel’s body. In
his nightmares, Hell is also there.
For one slow second, Spike almost lifts his hand to trace the contours
of Angel’s chest. Then he raises his eyes to Angel’s face and recognizes
the contemptible look reserved just for him. The second passes and Spike
lets the familiar emotions of anger and betrayal wash over him again. The
only thing that matters is the Gem of Amara. It’s Spike’s ring. He searched
for it. He found it. He wore it for two glorious hours. The sun’s lethal
rays did not set his skin ablaze. Spike had been invincible.
It’s the Slayer’s fault that Spike is now in a warehouse with a madman
and… what is Angel now? An enemy? A traitor? A fallen mentor? A lover?
Spike shakes his head. Angel was never his lover.
Marcus: What about internal?
Spike has a varied collection of internal scars. Some are old (Cecily).
Some are fresh (Dru). Some perpetually bleed. That category is reserved for
Angel because Spike lives in Angel’s constant shadow. Spike’s badness is
not as evil. His love is not as passionate. His creativity is not as
brilliant. His intellect is not as clever. Spike is not, and will never be,
Angel. It chafes him, just a little, every day.
Marcus: He’s known love.
Until Spike knew Angelus, he thought he loved Cecily. Then he realized
that what he felt for the insipid girl was misplaced affection. He loves
Dru. He would move heaven and earth for his raven-haired beauty. He almost
let Angel end the world because she wanted to play. But Spike knew, as soon
as he saw Angel and the Slayer, that what he had with Dru paled in
comparison. There was no doubt that Angel loved the Slayer. The proof was Angelus’
obsession with her. Spike has never known that all-consuming kind of love.
Spike watches as Marcus rolls a poker in the fire and tests its heat. He
admires the grace of the torturer as he pushes the red-hot tool into
Angel’s chained body. He smirks as an agonized groan soars above the
classical music. Spike loves Angel too.
*****
Marcus: What do you want?
Spike wants the Gem of Amara.
He wants the old Angelus, not the one who tried to take them to Hell.
He wants to understand why he still craves Angel despite their history.
He wants to shatter this bond that exists between them.
He wants to hear Angel scream in eternal agony. He wants Angel’s limbs
twisted into obscene positions. He wants pieces of Angel to fall on the
floor. Spike wants Angel to feel excruciating unending pain, like he did
when Angelus left.
Marcus is not living up to Spike’s expectations. There are several
pokers skewering Angel’s body, but Spike still doesn’t know where the ring
is. Marcus methodically heats another poker, repeats the question, replays
his Mozart. Spike doesn’t like the memories that are stirred by this scene.
Angelus once told him that torture creates a bond between the victim and
the tormentor. A successful torturer uses this bond as part of the
interrogation. It’s why Giles told Dru about Acathla. The trick is not to
get trapped within it. Marcus is trying to create a bond with Angel; it’s
not working. Spike can feel one though. Angel feels it, too; Spike can tell
from his eyes. There’s no fear in them. Instead, Spike sees acceptance,
determination, pain, judgement, and (always) contempt. If Spike doesn’t
leave now, he will stake Angel.
*****
He returns just in time to prevent Marcus’ death. The bald vampire is
livid. Spike would have sworn that Marcus was unflappable. Angel has fewer
pokers protruding from his body. He is not even close to breaking.
Spike wants answers now. There is a feral gleam in his eye as he grasps
the pliers and advances on the captive vampire. Angel's anguished scream
momentarily deadens Spike's unremitting heartache.
Spike: It’s called addiction, Angel. We all have them. I believe
yours is named Slutty the Vampire Slayer.
Spike’s addiction is Angel.
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