DISCLAIMER: Blah, blah, Joss owns all, blah, blah, not mine, blah, blah, just borrowing, blah. Does that cover it?

How To Unwrap a Starburst

RATING: PG-13.

DISTRIBUTION: Fanfiction.net, B/A Fluff list, and anyone who has my stuff, you're completely welcome to it. Otherwise, just ask - trust me on this, I'll say yes.

FEEDBACK: I'm a feedbackaholic. Please indulge my addiction!

EMAIL: DingoesGroupie@hotmail.com

AUTHOR: Molly/WiccanWondergirl16. I was suffering from a terrible judgment call when I selected my stupid author name. Clearly I have multiple personalities.

DEDICATION: Linzy, because she needs fluff in her life right now, and I provide it in any small way that I can. And all my friends for the wonderfully raunchy, frank discussions which give me *plenty* of material. *eyebrow waggle*

TIMELINE: Not important. I proudly hail from the Land of Denial, a dreamy place where Buffy and Angel are still together, and where Riley never polluted the Buffyverse. He instead lives a very happy life, deep in the jungle, where he is frequently ravaged by wild monkeys. Rabid ones. *grin* Just a purely mushy fic where our favorite couple is together and cuddly and gooey.

SYNOPSIS: Buffy hears a rumor that is you can unwrap a Starburst using only your teeth and tongue, it means you're la creme de la creme of kissers. She and Angel put it to the test. *grin* Pure fluff. Sorry, Laura! Next fic, I promise a ton of miserable, angsty, character deaths and mass suicides, okay? *sweet smile*

*****************

Buffy's feet rested comfortably in Angel's lap, a textbook propped open on her knees. She yawned a little, eyes watering as she highlighted yet another key passage about Darwin's theory of evolution. Restlessly, she slid down the couch, trying to find a more comfortable position for studying.

Angel's attention fixated on the television screen, he absentmindedly wrapped his strong hands around the curves of her calves and began to massage them. "Mmm...that feels nice," Buffy purred, lifting her face away from her reading. A *very* welcome distraction - the print was tiny, the words were big, and she was getting sleepy.

"It's supposed to feel nice," Angel responded, briefly diverting his attention from the screen to smile at his lover. "Otherwise, I wouldn't do it." She sighed, and stretched out, perfectly content all of a sudden. Quiet evenings spent together doing normal, couple-y things, were far too few for her liking.

Buffy leaned back against the pillows of the couch, then lifted her head back up, looking at Angel with sleepy, seductive bedroom eyes. But her smoldering gaze fell on nothing, and she rolled her eyes. He had already turned back to the TV.

"You're turning into such a guy," she admonished him.

Angel faced her, confusion wrinkling his brow. "To my knowledge, I've been a guy for two hundred forty seven years," he said carefully. "So...how am I suddenly turning?"

Buffy rolled her eyes once more at him. "I *know* that. I just mean that this - " she gestured to the TV screen, " - is suddenly more interesting than me. Your TV fixation is totally grinding on my nerves."

Angel arched an eyebrow. "My TV *fixation*? Buffy, this is the first time I've gone *near* the TV in about three months. Besides, your nose is buried in that book," he teased.

"Oh, yeah, because a dead white guy's analysis of finches and their stupid beaks is *really* fascinating stuff," she shot back. "I'd rather be reading a cheesy Harlequin."

"You do read those," he said, grinning. "You try to keep them hidden, but you read them."

Buffy felt her face flush with embarrassment. //Kind of ironic. I have no problem letting Angel see me naked, but when it comes to letting him know I read Harlequins...// "And you know this how?"

He leered at her playfully. "You'd be surprised at the things I know about you, Summers."

She laughed, slammed her biology text closed, and dropped it to the ground. "So what are you watching? News? History Channel?" she asked, snuggling up against his side.

Now it was his turn to grow embarrassed. "The Simpsons," he admitted sheepishly.

Buffy felt her jaw drop. "The Simpsons. *You*? *You* are watching The Simpsons? Okay, who are you, and what have you done with *my* Angel?"

"It's intellectual!" he protested. "It's humor for smart people. And it's historic. It's been on the air for fourteen years. It's an icon. A staple of American culture."

"It's The Simpsons," she said dryly. "I mean, *I* like it. *Xander* likes it. I just never really had you pegged as a Homer fan. You know, blue collar, paunchy American male..."

"Actually, I prefer Bart. And the clown," he responded. She giggled, and he tightened his arm around her. "Are you mocking me, woman?"

"Oh, come on, of *course* I'm mocking. This is...it's like finding out that Giles has a secret Titanic obsession or something."

Angel laughed and kissed the top of your head. "Well, as long as you're honest."

"Never anything but." At that moment, Buffy's stomach let out a low growl, and he glanced down at her, concerned.

"Are you hungry?"

"Maybe a little..." She leaned over the side of the couch and pulled her messenger bag into her lap. "I've got a pack of Starbursts in here somewhere, I think."

"Starbursts? You're not eating Starbursts for dinner. Baby, let me up. I'll go cook you a proper meal."

"Nuh-uh," Buffy protested, rooting around the bottom of her bag. "Stay right where you are. I said I was a *little* hungry. Way not hungry enough for one of your huge 'get Buffy fat' meals. I just need a snack." She dropped a handful of ball-point pens to the ground and reached in deeper. "Aha!" she said triumphantly. "Found 'em." Proudly, she displayed the half full wrapper of candy.

Angel lifted his eyebrows. "Very nutritious. Are you sure you don't want me to - "

"Way sure," she interrupted, taking a cherry flavored candy from the wrapper. She contemplated it for a moment, tilting her head to the side and examining the tiny folds on the corner.

Angel nudged her shoulder. "Having second thoughts? Or do you think it'll open itself if you stare at it hard enough?"

"Funny," she retorted. "No, I'm just wondering something."

He tightened his arms around her shoulder. "And that something would be..."

She smiled up at him. "It's actually pretty stupid. Willow told me she read this article in Cosmo - "

"*Willow* reads *Cosmo*?" he interrupted.

"It's right up there with finding out that you watch The Simpsons, I know. Anyway. She told me about this article. Rate Your Kissing Potential, or something. And it said if you can unwrap a Starburst using only your tongue and teeth, it means you're a great kisser." She grinned at him, a mischievous glint suddenly gleaming in her hazel eyes. "Wanna put it to the test?"

Angel brushed a lock of hair back from her face, feeling a stupidly happy smile spread across his face. Doing silly, corny things with Buffy...this was all the redemption he'd ever need. "If you don't know by now that you're an amazing kisser..." he said, leaning in to nuzzle the side of her neck, "...and an even more amazing lover..."

"Mmm," she murmured. "You really think so?"

"I do," he breathed, planting kisses up her throat and covering her mouth with his. She tightened her arms around his back and tugged him on top of her, until they were comfortably twined in each others' arms, his weight securely settled on top of her. "Convinced?" he asked seductively, finally breaking the kiss and running a fingertip across her lips.

She smiled up at him. "Completely." She paused a moment, then lowered her hand to the ground, where she'd dropped the wrapper. "But I still want to try it."

Angel laughed, and shifted a little to his side, sliding his body off hers and supporting himself on his elbow to watch. "All right. Let's try." He ran his hand down her arm and settled on the previously discarded cherry candy, bringing it to her lips. She smiled lasciviously at him, taking the time to lick his fingertips before bringing the Starburst into her mouth.

He couldn't stop himself from laughing. She just looked so damn *cute*, her concentration focused solely on loosening the folds of the wrapper, then working her tongue beneath it. He brushed a kiss over her forehead when as she turned the candy over on her mouth, preparing to attack the other side. "You're mething me upth," she complained, speech slurred by the slowly unraveling wrapper in her mouth.

"Sorry," he apologized, fighting to keep his face straight. Buffy crossed her eyes at him. Then her features suddenly lit up. She slid the Starburst up vertically in her mouth, then bit down, using her tongue to pull the candy from the wrapper and her teeth to hold it in place. "Yeth!" she cheered. "I tho rule." She swallowed the Starburst, then took the wrapper from her mouth for Angel's inspection. "Didn't even tear the paper. Do they give out Oscars for this kind of thing?"

"I'll look into it," he assured her. "My turn?"

"Your turn," she agreed, selecting a lemon flavored candy and sliding it into his mouth.

Angel's eyes immediately darkened as he searched for the folds on the corner, and not finding them. //How did she *do* this?// he fretted, sliding the candy from side to side, frustrated.

Buffy didn't help matters any, giggling hysterically at the bewildered expression on his face. "Having a little trouble, honey?" she asked innocently.

He scowled at her. "I'll figure thith out," he insisted. She laughed again, pulling him back on top of her and softly kneading the muscles of his lower back.

"Take your time," she said lazily.

Finally, he discovered a loose corner and managed to work his tongue beneath it. But that was as far as he got. Excited by his minor success, he bit into the Starburst and managed to seal the corner, as well as entrenching the rest of the wrapper into the chewy candy.

Angel's face fell, and Buffy's giggles exploded into full on gales of belly laughter. After fishing the ruined experiment out of his mouth, he leaned down, bringing his face to hers. "There something *funny* about this?" he asked, mock threateningly.

She managed to nod, her eyes watering from chuckling so hard. "Guess this means you're a bad kisser," she finally told him. "Damn. I'm gonna have to start looking for a new boyfriend. One who can past the Starburst test. I'll have to conduct interviews and everything."

"Oh, really?" he questioned.

She nodded sadly. "It's a shame. I've spent so much time training you, it's really gonna be a hassle to have to break in somebody else."

"Well," Angel said, running his hands down her sides and twining their fingers together, "I'd hate to have to put you through the hassle of such a search. Maybe I could take a restest..."

"Hmmm," Buffy responded. "And what would this retest consist of?"

"A little more practical experimentation," he answered, brushing his lips over hers. She closed her eyes and pulled him closer, and he gave in to her unspoken request for a longer, deeper kiss, exploring her mouth with his tongue and gently sucking on her bottom lip.

"Would it have more of those?" she asked playfully once they broke apart. "'Cause...screw the Starburst test. You totally aced the Buffy Summers AP Kissing Exam."

Angel smiled back, tightening his arms around her. "Well...I think I'm going to need to earn some extra credit, anyway," he whispered, lowering his mouth to hers once more.

"Earn away," she murmured back, quickly losing herself in his touch as their lips met again...and again...and again.

What did Cosmo know about the art of kissing, anyway? None of *them* were living with Angel. And if *he* couldn't pass their test...it was clearly a faulty rating system, anyway.

THE END.

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