Never

Written by Becks

 

Description: "Because the night belongs to lovers." (Bruce Springsteen)

(A short B/A fluff.)

Disclaimer: Everything Buffyish belongs to Joss Whedon.

Rating: PG

                              

 

 

Angel walked in silence, aware that Buffy, walking beside him, was prepared. He swallowed, then swallowed again.

 

“Uh- Buffy?”

 

Buffy stopped under a street lamp to get a good look at his face. She thought she knew what was coming and she didn’t want to hear it.

 

“Buffy, I- I’ve been thinking. About our relationship.”

 

Buffy turned towards him, thrusting her stake back in to her pocket. “Funny, isn’t it, Angel, everyone seems to want us to split except me. The mayor says it. You’re saying it. Is there something wrong with me? Am I abnormal?”

 

Angel hesitated. “I know you won’t want to hear this.” He said softly, and Buffy saw that his eyes flickered anywhere but to her. “But- maybe- we don’t need this. We’ve come this far, too far, and now I’m giving you an option. You can back out.”

 

“What are you saying?”

 

“I’m saying that you don’t need to be with me.” Now he suddenly looked straight at her and her stomach lurched. “I used to think I was protecting you. Now I’ve seen different. When I’m around you’re distracted. You need to fight your battles without having to worry about me.”

 

“So we’ve been fighting evil all these years and now just because I’m graduating you think I’ve grown out of you? Is that what this is about?”

 

“It’s nothing to do with you.” Angel replied. “It’s to do with me, Buffy. Me. I’m the thing in our way. I get special powers from the demon in me but sometimes I wish I could be human, just for you, and it doesn’t work that way and it never will. Every time I’m near you I can sense your heartbeat. You have a life and you don’t need to spend it with a demon. I can’t do this.”

 

“There was a time when I could see your heart.” Buffy whispered. “Now I don’t know. It’s there but you won’t let me reach it. You won’t let me touch it. Whatever I do you draw back. Whenever I get close you push me away and for what! Are you scared? Is that all I’m worth to you?”

 

“I want you.” Angel replied, letting the shadows mock him with their emptiness. “I need you, but I can’t have you. There are some rules I have to follow and I won’t stand for people being hurt just because I want.”

 

Buffy didn’t speak right away. She just watched him. “What if people get hurt because you don’t want?” She murmured.

           

“The demon is controlling me, Buffy and there’s nothing I can do. I can’t hold it back no matter how hard I try. And I can’t let the curse break loose, even for a second. One moment of true happiness, that’s all it takes, and there’s only one person on this earth who’s capable of giving me that.”

 

Buffy’s mouth quivered. “So you’re blaming me for what some gypsy did to you? This is my fault?”

 

“Buffy-“ Angel reached out a hand to touch her but she turned away and ran. Angel caught up with her and spun her round to face him.

 

Buffy.” He said.

 

Buffy’s eyes searched his face. “I’ll never give you up,” She said, and then they leaned in to each other and let their mouths meet, and they touched something so deep and pure that the parting of their lips was like the shattering of ice that left Angel with a cold, senseless ache that would never leave him. Then Angel turned and ran for the shadows, disappearing in to his world of pain.

 

Buffy stood staring at where he had been, bathed in dark expressionless shadows, and her mouth whispered the words, “Never, ever…”

 

THE END

 



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