Reflections

 

AUTHOR: Karen "Powrhug" Wood

CATEGORY: Kate/Angel angst, PG

WARNINGS:  if you like don't like the idea of Angel with anyone but Buffy? Well you probably won't like this. Spoilers? Epiphany.

FEEDBACK:  Sure why not?  =)  No flames from people who hate Kate though please?

NOTE-This is un-beta'd so all errors are my own.

ARCHIVE-Sure, if you want it just take it...but let me know where so I can come visit!  Anyone I've said okay to before doesn't need to ask.

DISCLAIMER: The usual. I don't own them. Others do. I'm just writing my thoughts about the characters down and sharing. Without profiting of course.

 

**

 

She sat drinking in the bar alone, which was a step up from her usual habit of drinking by herself at home.  Tonight she wanted the company of similarly drunken loners and losers, all avoiding eye contact as they nursed their means of escape from their individual realities and collective pain.

 

When she walked in it felt like home.

 

As she drank she stared into the mirrored wall located behind the bar. Eyes looking deep into eyes.  Searching for something. The trouble was she couldn't even say what she was searching for.

 

So instead she ordered another beer.

 

"Kate?" Angel said. The voice came as almost a whisper and at first she was unsure whether she'd actually heard it among the blend of occasional conversation and juke box sad songs that surrounded them. But her gaze remained unwavering on her lone reflection in the glass,

refusing to allow herself to search him out in spite of her uncertainty of his existence.

 

"What do you see?" He asked, louder, clearer and unmistakable this time.

 

"A dead woman."

 

"You're not dead."

 

"Yeah, thanks to you right?" She asked, wryly smiling down into her beer.

 

"I'm not looking for gratitude Kate," he said.

 

"Then what are you looking for Angel?" She asked, still staring into her reflection while wondering the same thing about herself, all the while annoyed that he'd obviously been following her.

 

"Some reassurance maybe."

 

"Reassurance? Of what?"

 

"That there won't be a repeat of what happened the other night."

 

Kate laughed, briefly looked at him, and said, "Don't worry, you don't have to play hero tonight."

 

Raising her glass in a mock toast she added, "Look Ma! No pills!"

 

He grimaced at her attempt at humor, "You've just chosen a slower way to die."

 

"Uh huh, and you're here to save me again right Hero?"

 

"You wanted me to save you Kate."

 

"You think?"

 

"Yeah I think...if not you wouldn't have called."

 

"I called because I wanted you to feel like shit like I did," she said before downing the last of her beer and signaling for another.

 

"I don't believe that," he replied and gave the bartender a subtle look that said she'd reached his limit if not hers.

 

"Misery loves company Hero, besides, I didn't want to die," she said, "I just didn't want to live."

 

"There's a difference?"

 

"You know there is."

 

He nodded then asked, "And now?"

 

She shrugged and looked back at her reflection, "I'm still alone

Hero."

 

She stood and threw a handful of crumpled bills on the bar.

 

"You're not alone Kate," he said.

 

"Oh yeah? Look in the mirror Angel," she said, then turned and walked slowly, unsteadily toward the door.

 

 

 

-end-

 

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